So... Alla doesn't know if she loves Matt or not.
His friends can be tools, but I don't think Patrick was wrong. How can you marry someone that doesn't know if they love you or not?
I like Alla and I want to like Matt, but that just blew me away.
Thoughts?
Marriage is a partnership, yada yada yada
Ideas about marriage are different in various cultures, yada yada
Your film gods: Lee Van Cleef and Laura Gemser
http://tinyurl.com/pa4ud44
I guess. Sounds strange to me.
What's your take on their relationship?
Americans overuse "I love you" so damn much. When I lived in the USA, most of people that I worked with would end every line "love you" when talking to their spouses. I guess they do that instead of saying "good-bye".
Eastern Europeans are different. We rarely say that. In fact, I don't think that I've ever heard my parents say that to each other, but they've been married since 1983. I don't need my wife telling me "love you" every 30 seconds. Her daily actions show me that.
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When I die, I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
Absolutely, without a doubt.
It's not the quantity that bothers me. It's the fact that she is moving from another country with her child and is about to get married and she hasn't said it ONCE. She has even said that she doesn't even know if she loves Matt.
It obviously doesn't bother Matt, but it's pretty strange to me.
My mom's family is Eastern European and I get they are different. That's cool. I just think it's bizarre for a person who is about to get married to have never had said that or even sure they love that person.
Where in Eastern Europe are you from?
Are you (or your mom's family) from Turkey or Bosnia?
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When I die, I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
No, they're from the Baltic States.
I know Turkey and Bosnia are Muslim majority countries, does that have something to do with it?
I saw your avatar, which is why I assumed that you might be from Turkey or Bosnia. I'm from Bosnia's neighborhood country (born in Croatia, but I'm a Serb) and my best friend is a Muslim from Bosnia, so I'm very similar with that sign.
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When I die, I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
Croatia? Nice. I had a pen pal from Croatia. Beautiful country, Would love to visit someday.
I changed my avatar right around the time of the terrorist attacks in France. Social media erupted in solitary with France, but mostly ignored other countries dealing with terrorism.
I was born in Croatia, but my home country is Serbia due to my nationality. I currently live in Serbia, although I do go to Croatia every summer for few weeks.
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When I die, I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
Serbia? Nice. I live in boring Southern Utah.
So... do you think it's not strange that Alla hasn't said that she loves Matt or isn't sure if she loves him or not?
I don't think that she knows him that well to tell him that. They really haven't spent that much time together. One thing that I do love about her is her point of view about the life in general (like tonight when she said "am I even gonna be alive in 3 years" when Patrick asked her if she will be with Matt in 3 years). I live my life the same way because yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
By the way, I love Utah. I used to live in Idaho for 3 years (before moving to Wisconsin for app. 13 years) and I went to Utah many times. I love western part of the USA.
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When I die, I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
Alla is actually one of the few people I like this season. I don't know why she is with Matt.
Why get married then? I just don't understand that.
I like it when she said that about three years. I live my life that way too.
Oh wow, that's crazy. Small world. Where in Idaho? I live in St George.
Saying I love you as often as people do really cheapens it to me. Love takes time and is best showed by your actions.
I just think it's bizarre that she hasn't said it once or doesn't even know.
I like Alla and Patrick's a jerk. Unlike Danielle/Nicole's instant love: just add water and stir (and for Nicole it's age appropriate) Alla is honest about being a person who develops love slowly. She's also a very reserved person and Patrick is an invasive buttinski. Danielle screams I love you every 5 seconds but doesn't behave lovingly; Alla behaves kindly and respectfully. Matt knows how she feels; it's his decision to marry her anyway.
I think Patrick is concerned for his friend who was married three times and is about to get taken advantage of in his view.
I agree with Patrick. I think Alla is just a poor man's version of Anfisa. She admitted she doesn't love Matt and is obviously in it to give herself and Maxinator a better life.
Considering that every "love" marriage failed for Matt, maybe he could use "friends with benefits" marriage.
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When I die, I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
But it's not really "friends with benefits". The whole point of FwB is to avoid the trappings of romantic relationship and/or marriage.
And Matt has no not only provide for Alla but also for Max. Twice the outlay for questionable future returns on investment - if you insist of looking at it from the business perspective, druže.
Syn something I wasn't clear from the show was...was the problem just that she wasn't SAYing it, or that she just, in fact, does not love him yet. Is that common in Eastern Europe too? (I'm not saying that sarcastically or anything).
I agree that "I love yuoiuoiuoiu" all the time like we do here is overkill. I say it to my mom for example, usually if she says it first, or maybe if I'm parting ways (again from family) knowing I won't seem them for a long time, I guess in case I never see them again (morbid but hey). It's not something that comes out of my mouth easily and it feels really weird actually outside of those things I just said and I'm not sure I ever even have said it.
So blah blah I'm rambling. What struck me is I think she was saying that no, she doesn't actually love him yet. Forget the saying out loud part. She was admitting that, no, she doesn't love him. Yet. That'll come in time. Maybe. That's what was troubling to me.
But her point was right...if Matt's okay with that, and the overall arrangement of mutual benefit and kinship or whatever that they have, then that's his choice...
But to have someone just flat out say, nah I don't actually love this person I'm about to marry, is startling. Yes, in this culture, it is. Not just the not saying the words, but the fact she admitted she doesn't love him and maybe she will one day, maybe not.
Syn something I wasn't clear from the show was...was the problem just that she wasn't SAYing it, or that she just, in fact, does not love him yet. Is that common in Eastern Europe too? (I'm not saying that sarcastically or anything).
Yeah. I'm not saying I'm totally against that kind of arrangement. I think people can be too impulsive without thinking of the long-term. But I also wasn't sure if that was a common Eastern Europe thing or not.
In fact I thought I myself might even fare better with an arranged marriage or some crap, because there's no choice and then you kind of hope eventually you'll grow to like the other person haha. But I'm as single as the...uh... day I was born? and almost always have been, save five weeks, so what do I know
But it's still a bit of a red flag in that I'm really not sure Matt is on the same page. Hopefully Matt has his eyes wide open now. She seems pretty straight up about what it is and I hope he doesn't have some fantasy of what he wants to it to be. I believe she'd be loyal and a good wife and all, for the sake of a good life for her kid. And I think she finds Matt a good enough person for a husband to meet that need.
I think Alla is just a friendlier version of Anfisa. Just like with Anfisa, this is a business arrangement for her. She's just being polite about it instead of awful.
shareAnd despite saying "I love you all the time" and being "nice and polite", 53% of marriages in the USA end in divorce ... Ouch. Maybe more Americans should do "business arrangement" marriages or at least be angry all the time like Russians are ...
EDIT: Is there a reason why you changed your post?
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When I die, I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.
I guess I could see someone hoping they would grow to love them over time, but he has already been married three times before. No way should he get married a fourth time if she isn't even sure if she loves him.
shareRomance in a marriage is a fairly modern concept. Marriage used to be based on economic reasons, and with luck you had compatibility with your spouse, that might even grow into love. It is still like this in many parts of the world. I have no doubt that Alla will make a good wife for Matt, she will feel gratitude to Matt for rescuing her (and her son) from (what most of America is forgetting) the war torn country she is living in, and she will show her gratitude by being loyal and devoted. (just like the tens of thousands of GI brides and their husbands)
Let's face it, how many marriages based on love and sex last past the first blush of romance? I have far too many acquaintances that are from divorced families (either divorced themselves or have divorced parents) When entering into a
marriage (which used to be called a contract) how many people take the time to actually discuss the common sense aspects of their future together? And how many spend every waking moment planning their dream wedding? There is a reason that divorce rate is so high in the United States and most of those divorced couples will swear that they loved their spouse when they got married.
It may be a fairly modern concept on a historical scale but it is old enough to have made it to Ukraine a while ago. It's not like Ukrainians still have arranged marriages and a daughter is given away for a cow and three goats or something.
Patrick should have asked her about how she felt about her first husband when she married him. Is marrying without love a habit for her? Is that what led to demise of her first marriage?
America very bad. Very stupid.
Your film gods: Lee Van Cleef and Laura Gemser
http://tinyurl.com/pa4ud44