But did Olive have multiple personality disorder and the different people were her personalities? I thought of it in the 3rd segment especially when they never brought Denise or the boy with the hallucinations back...also was that schizophrenia? Ugh this movie hit home for me and I cried a lot through it..very sad
Sry on my phone so can't edit my post...just to add to it, I didn't think that was just depression that Olive had because yea she was obviously really unhappy but I mean, she was completely blank with absolutely no emotion/expression the whole time...it screamed to me that something was way off...and especially the voices and hallucinations
I think Olive may have had Borderline personality disorder or some variation of it. But interestingly there are times she is almost autistic in her responses and seems to avoid human touch or positive exchanges. But ironically is ever ready with sarcasm & put downs. I don't think she was depressed. She was sad after she lost Henry and lost the purpose to live.
Sorry this movie made you sad. It was a depressing but very well made piece of art for sure. *hugs*
Have to agree with you. Her difficult nature seems to fit the Borderline personality disorder. Really tough people to be near if you know any. All that destructive interaction. They have some strange bonding issues. Loyal and toxic at the same time.
If you're not appalled, you're not paying attention ....
I think Olive has Borderline Personality Disorder. My mother has it so unfortunately so I'm very familiar with the behaviors. Olive was definitely BPD and fit into one of the 4 common types, the "witch" category. There is a lot of info online if you're interested in more details.
One aspect is that BPD can't be treated and it's extremely rare for that person to understand they have the disease or realize how terribly they treat others. It has been very helpful to know that my mother has this disorder so I could get information on how to deal with it. The diagnosis came from my therapist, which is a common way to discover what is going on.
It was so fascinating how this series showed that her husband Henry didn't really acknowledge her horrible behavior, even with their son and her terrible treatment of both of them. She did have her very loving moments with Henry, especially once their son was an adult and had moved away, that were very touching and loving so Henry chose to ignore the rest of her abusive behavior. All of these family dynamics are very common. Very often there is a "scapegoat" who receives the worst treatment, in this case her son.
There is good news: It is absolutely possible to overcome a parent like this. My brother and I both took a therapy route that was almost exactly like her son's, and now we're able to "work around" my mom's behavior and have happy healthy relationships with friends and other loved ones.
I loved this series and found it incredibly bittersweet and it made me cry about 10 times. In the end I went from being touched by Henry's unconditional love and Olive's very interesting way of going through life, with their true yin and yang, and then as soon as Henry died I couldn't wait for the show to be over so I didn't have to hang out just with Olive for one more minute!!
Great mini-series with lots of complicated things about life to contemplate.
I think personality disorder is thrown around by psychs too much, same as bi polar. I think Olive was chronically depressed and verbally abusive. She was the spitting image of my mother's personality. But then again, I'm German (living in Germany) and most older women are like that as Germans are very direct and dry like Olive, esp. as we get older. But seeing as she was American, where that behaviour is not normal - I think her depression kept her self centred and uncaring as to how she made people feel, as depressed people live in their own head. And she was caring to her husband after his stroke because, as it was stated by Bill Murray, people become saints in our minds once their dead. I know he wasn't dead, but he was mentally absent. .
And I read about how you're mother was verbally/emotionally abusive to you and your mother. I don't know if this would help - it helps Germans who all have parents like that, LOL... You have to realize that it's the mothers problem-her inability to deal with people-her inability to express love/care. I know it's not easy to realize it's not personal when your young, but as you get older, realize that when ANYONE is rude or abusive to you, it's THAT persons psychiatric/social problem. People that are rude to you are usually rude to everyone. For an example, follow a nasty inter web troll around the net and you will notice the pattern in their behaviour. Anyway, I don't know how old you are, but if you are an adult living away from your mom, the older she gets, the lonelier she will get, so there's your chance to try and teach her. She will want to call you all the time and visit with you, but as soon as she falls back in that abusive behaviour, cut her off. And when you do that for a couple of years, she will learn that nasty behaviour will leave her lonely and she may start to watch herself better, which is what you deserve. I'm no psych, I just have a nasty old mother also, and I'm just sharing what works for me and my siblings. I wish you luck :-)
The terms are thrown around too much by non-psychs as well. Olive's behavior wasn't "horrible." She was depressed, like my own mother was, and although she was sort of cold, she would have had to do a lot more for me to consider it "horrible." It was the only way she knew how to be. Olive was lucky to have a kind husband, but he also thought himself lucky to have her, from all appearances.
One other thing that I forgot to mention is that Olive becomes an excellent caregiver, showering Henry with deep feelings of gratitude, many sincere declarations of love, and incredibly encouraging behavior, once Henry can't hear or emotionally internalize any of it. Wouldn't that have been lovely if she would have told him those things when he wasn't in a vegetable state? Unfortunately she just didn't have the capacity.
Borderline Personality Disorder note: BPD can be hereditary, and/or severe trauma contributes, as well as having a parent with BPD. Usually the trauma is emotional and from more than one event. Olive's father killing himself would definitely fall into that category. There are also many various levels of intensity. Not all people with BPD are as intense and abusive as Olive.
Borderline Personality Disorder note: BPD can be hereditary, and/or severe trauma contributes, as well as having a parent with BPD. Usually the trauma is emotional and from more than one event. Olive's father killing himself would definitely fall into that category. There are also many various levels of intensity. Not all people with BPD are as intense and abusive as Olive.
Most likely Olive was traumatized by her father's suicide and her mother's depression. She probably grew up numbing her emotions. It's telling that although Olive was seemingly happier with Jim O'Casey she wouldn't leave her husband. She couldn't seem to allow herself any happiness.
I think she can finally do those things, say those things, because he can't interact with her. All their life I think she saw his "kindness" as weakness and a threat of abandonment. She never saw his kindness had value till she went to see the wealthy lady .. forgot her name .. the one who hates everyone, except Henry. Then he really was a good man. Poor Olive had an issue with empathy.
If you're not appalled, you're not paying attention ....
Very interesting about how she was portrayed in the book. Sounds like her behavior was much less extreme, and I think the series would have been much better if that had been included.
I'm including this link regarding depression just as an FYI if anyone is interested. It includes the symptoms of depression and Olive did not have more than a couple of them. They are listed as the second topic. It has been my experience that mental illnesses are extremely complex and can be very difficult to understand unless someone has had personal experiences with them.
Personal experiences don't necessarily make them easier to understand. Personality disorder diagnoses were not as fashionable then as they seem to be today. I think Olive was depressed, but as was said above, her behavior was in the normal range. I am in my 60s now, but I went through a period of blaming my mother for my own emotional problems. That was so pointless an indulgence. She was as much a product of nature and nurture as I am, but I was luckier because of the therapies I had that didn't exist when she was a depressed young mother of three.
Olive is a straight shooter and such people can be a bit scary. Meanwhile "charming" and more beautiful people such as the son's first wife and mother-in-law are horrible but get away with blue murder due to their attractive veneers.
Well said. Olive was not interested in being well-liked. She was true to herself and said what she felt. She did not suffer fools gladly.
The book shows Olive's good attributes more than the TV series.
Even in the teleplay Olive shows concern for people, such as Kevin (younger and older) and his mom; the waitress who fell into the water; Bill Murray's character who fell onto the ground in the park; etc. She may be gruff but she's not heartless.
BTW in the book I'm fairly sure the schizophrenic guy (inherited from his mother I assume) and the young woman have a happy ending ... All due to Olive's interference.
Glad to know that--Kevin's story was quite sad. I really felt for him. The actor playing the adult Kevin was very good.