I did not understand it but...

I did not understand this movie much if it had any hidden philosophical statements but it made me tear up a bit.
I liked a girl almost as much, never went a day without thinking about her, and at that age it felt that destiny will do its thing and I do not need to care much, just concentrate on being better.
But at last I had to accept that some things are not meant to happen. I still see her face everyday, it seems she got married but I was so stuck up in life that it seems life wanted me to remain stuck up, and now when I am coming out of it, I am terrified because she is far far away.
Like the main character, I imagine this scenario again and again, when I could have done something different.
And at the end what hurts me most is that the girl would not even think of me for a second even if my slightly unique name came up.
She is happy somewhere with someone else(bless her) and I will always rue the fact that someone isn't me.
I do not give much weight to life as its just a stupid phase but I still cannot understand how can I value relationship with humans so much. How can I like her so much and and why could I not be without her.
Life is strange but if you go too deep, it brings only pain.
I still remember moments of time 18 years back like it happened yesterday and I wish there was a time machine so that I could have done things differently.
Interestingly, I might have not spoken to her more than 5 lines in my whole life but she knew, she always did.
Due to all this my theory that 'everything happens for good falls flat on its face', I am even more confused now.
All I wish now is that to tell her that how much in love I was with her and how special she is not just for me, but I would not do that because I could not.
Hope I could see her once in a while because one thing that she gave me brought me amazing time of life until I had it. My life went down the hill as soon I lost the thing, even when I searched for it.
That point, that day will forever be embedded in my mind because that losing the thing and that day was not happening in a perfect universe for my character.
I can still feel the softness of the thing and the smell of it.
Sorry for rant, I have no one else to tell and lately it seems to hurt a lot, its time to let it go but do not know how!!