This is not subjective. This movie is nothing. I know what I saw.

After I saw this movie, from now on I will be rating movies like that:

1) Masterpiece
2) Very Good
3) Good
4) Average
5) Mediocre-Boring
6) Trash
7) Everybody Wants Some

So, when I see a movie again and somebody asks me "how would you rate it?" and I say "Everybody wants some", it will mean that the movie I saw had:

1) No story.
2) No interesting characters.
3) No reason for existence.

I've seen good comedies, I've seen average comedies, I've seen bad comedies. But I've never seen anything like this movie before. It was excruciatingly indifferent. I know it sounds cliché, but I would really have a better time staring at a wall for 2 hours. Because I wouldn't have to stand for 2 hours listening to the most LAME jokes I've ever heard in a movie, and I wouldn't have to watch the COMPLETELY indifferent memoirs of Linklater's college years because he's going through middle-life crisis or whatever, and he wanted to make a movie-diary of his young years. Can you honestly remember ONE interesting dialogue from the movie? Can you honestly tell me that the main character was a well written INTERESTING character? If people found this character (and these characters) interesting, then burn all film schools, because filmmaking and screenwriting are dead.
And his "story" with that girl? Can you PLEASE tell me what was so interesting about it? Ok, he liked her, she liked him. AND?? What did they SAY?

And finally, answer honestly: if you were a producer, and not Linklater, but a NO NAMER scriptwriter/director came to you, and pitched you that screenplay*, and you read it, would you say to him "oh, man, wow, what an AWESOME screenplay, I'm gonna give you TEN MILLION DOLLARS (that's the real budget of the movie) to shoot it!"? If you say YES, then sorry, but you're a liar. Yes, you are. YOU would never give 10 million dollars to someone to make this movie. Because you would say to him "dude, I don't see anything interesting in this screenplay". So, why do you come here and you say that you liked it? Because it's from the director of "Dazed and Confused", "Before Sunrise", "School of Rock", etc., etc.?
But that's how it is. You have a name, you have a couple of Oscar nominations, you can pitch a 2 hour movie of a camel taking a crap in the middle of the desert. And people will say that they like it. Because you're their favourite director.


*Imagine the pitching of this screenplay to a producer.

Producer: So, what do you have?
Scriptwriter: Um...It's 1980...And it's this good looking nice guy going to play baseball to a Texas university...and he sees a girl he likes...aaand, generally, through the whole movie, he and his buddies go to parties and drink, and...you know, they have a great time.
Producer:.....
Scriptwriter: Ahm...Hello?
Producer: Dude, what happens in the movie?
Scriptwriters: Ahm...I just told you...You see, I'm 55, I was in university in the early '80s, and I wanted to make a film about the parties I was going there.
Producer: Ok, but...what HAPPENS in the movie? Beside the parties.
Scriptwriter: Ahm...The characters talk...about stuff...Oh, and there are a bunch of early '80s songs. You know... Oh, and at one scene they play baseball.
Producer: Dude, get the **** out of my office. Now.
Scriptwriter: But it has some really awesome jokes! There is one scene where one of the guys looks at his ass to the mirror and says that, you know, he has a great ass and stuff! I tell you, it's really funny!

No seriously. Say that you're a no namer, and you went to pitch this movie. Would it ever get pitched? No. By no one. So, this movie has nothing.

p.s.: Do you remember the scene a little bit after the beginning, where they guys go for a ride, and find these two girls and the one of them attempts to flirt with them? Who the **** flirts like that in real life?? It's like Linklater sat for 2 hours trying so hard to think the most possible interesting smart-ass flirting lines someone would say, but he didn't think if people actually flirt like that in real life! I'm not saying they should say "hey babe, what's up" or whatever, but damn, some realism would be nice.