This is why I don't understand why Martin acted out by faking his suicide in the pilot, or why Whitney was such an obnoxious b!tch.
I strongly defend putting your child in his or her place. That rudeness, cursing mum and dad, obnoxious and bratty behaviour will not fly!!!
The children raised my blood pressure in the pilot episode! Here we have your average nuclear family. Mum, dad and children. The family is getting ready to go on a vacation. You see Noah struggling to pack the vehicle while none of the children even attempt to help, then comes Martin, who mischievously pulls one luggage out causing most of the the bags to fall, he smirks and says "Oops you forgot one" to Noah who like an idiot did not correct his son's behaviour but exclaims "Ahhh come on buddy I just packed that?" Noah then like a fool goes and PICKS UP all the bags and repacks the car while Martin laughed his way back into the house!!!
We see Helen flustered, trying to organize everyone and comes Whitney cursing because she wants her own way. Helen does not correct her daughter.
I understand to an extent the children's rude behavior post affair but I don't understand their behaviour pre affair. They are privileged children. Their parents are still together, they have a house to live in, food, clothes, their own rooms, a vacation house, cell phones etc...
Helen and Noah NEVER disciplined their children and as parents they didn't demand respect.
I was left puzzled by the children's behaviour and began to search for clues... The reasons are -:
1. The children see their father being emasculated by Helen's parents. Over and over again. Noah doesn't defend himself and Helen doesn't defend her husband (except once I believe).
2. The parents DO NOT put their feet down and firmly STOP Bruce and Margaret when they start their brainwashing only when a situation escalated.
3. They give their children too much upper hand. The children curse their parents for not respecting their privacy.
4. Martin was given a pat on the shoulder for his fake suicide attempt.
5. The parents missed a play or a sports game or don't have a lot of time for them (work). (Not a valid reason for that crass behavior).
Martin was not disrespectful to Cole because he gave him boundaries and commanded respect.
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skay_baltimore
8 years ago
Exactly. Thank you for listing specific events and providing context. Their childrens' dysfunctional behavior is the direct result of poor parenting by Noah and Helen and even worse grandparenting by Margaret and Bruce. (I know it's a poor analogy but just watch The Dog Whisperer a couple of times and see how much consistent discipline (or lack thereof) impacts behavior. It looks miraculous when Caesar gets the results he does but it's not; it's a matter of firm, consistent discipline; the very thing totally lacking in Helen and Noah.)
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." -- Will Rogers
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SweetTea742
8 years ago
it's a matter of firm, consistent discipline; the very thing totally lacking in Helen and Noah.
I agree 100%!!!!!
Modern parenting focuses too much on
always reasoning with your child, giving them their space and privacy when
they want it, not raising
your voice... If you don't give them your attention at
their beck and call expect a temper tantrum.
I'm not saying abuse your children, but good grief, your children should not be cursing you! Did we even see Noah and Helen curse each other in front of the kids? Was cursing and abrupt disrespect part of Noah and Helen's everyday communication? I don't remember that... So, the kids did not see their parents act this way, as such, shouldn't their behaviour be better?
firm, consistent discipline!!!!
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skay_baltimore
8 years ago
It falls under the "tough love" category. So many of us are spoiled that we don't have a clue what tough love is all about. And when it comes to the Solloways, they are a cry for help for tough love -- all of them.
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." -- Will Rogers
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rnd
8 years ago
It's a television show, teenagers are usually written horribly. I agree the kids' behavior was over the top considering how the parents were presented, but it's also a POV element where clearly the interpretation of behavior differs from character to character. Noah thinks he's awesome,but we know he isn't!
The reason you shouldn't yell at your children, dominate them, slap them, etc., is because you initiate a stress response. It's called "fight or flight", and the body secretes cortisol which signals glucose and lipids to the bloodstream, priming it for action. The problem with this is that an accumulation of these types of events aren't good for you, and are linked to health issues later on in life. Stress is just as bad for you as smoking, or sugar, etc., it's not really something you want to do to your kids. When you yell at your toddler and make him cry, you're not doing his little body any favors. And then the kids pick up these behaviors and imitate them.
You dont seem to understand that there are ways to raise well behaved kids without raising your voice or using old style dominance. Consistent discipline is very important, but it is something you teach both by practice and by modeling how adults should behave - by treating others, including children, decently. It doesn't mean ignoring bad behavior at all. You make sure it is appropriate for their age and what they can understand. The best kids have parents who have it together.
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SweetTea742
8 years ago
I understand what you're saying, I'm not saying to scream at your children all the time until they are stricken with fear, releasing cortisol and causing stress resulting in heart problems later on. I agree with appropriate discipline as you mentioned but sometimes it must be firm because children are smart enough to know what is right from wrong. If they know the discipline for their wrongdoing is a soft approach then they will go ahead and do as they please knowing that it's nothing to get a "time out" or being grounded for a week. Also, children not only model their parents but their peers, teachers and what they see on TV. You can reasonably discipline your child and he or she may laugh in your face.
I do agree teenagers are horribly written in TV shows, they always write them as stereotypes. I can only think of one TV show where a teenager was actually really well behaved, mature and smart and that's Julie from Desperate Housewives.
I would however, like to see a TV show where the children are disciplined using modern strategies and the outcome is pleasing. It seems Hollywood is out of ideas.
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FULiar
8 years ago
"I'm not saying abuse your children, but good grief, your children should not be cursing you!"
You sound like a highly narcissistic parent. Sure, leave your child to take care of a dying man with Alzheimers and then expect to be treated with respect. No, when you are a selfish twat, you deserve to be called on it. I would *beep* hate to have you as a parent, you old century hag.
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skay_baltimore
8 years ago
You're totally missing the point and clearly have no concept of "firm, consistent discipline". Everything you write is a lame excuse. (The same young adult child of Juilette is in the same TV show just like Noah and Helen's kids.) You also put words into people's mouths that have never been stated just to try to bolster your weak, ill-informed argument.
"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." -- Will Rogers
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