Ideas for scaring the last fans away?


Apparently, purple haired incompetent rebel leaders and old hobos drinking green milk wasn’t enough to scare all Star Wars fans away!

Pitch your ideas for Episode IX to ensure that the movie will be the last in the franchise!

Examples:

- Imply heavily that Leia’s and Han’s marriage didn’t work because Han was gay

- Imply heavily that Luke sought exile because he was gay

- The Chinese girl who cries all the time finds a holotape which proves that Admiral Ackbar was a bad military leader

- A musical number a la Jedi Rocks. Perhaps force ghost Anakin and Kylo singing “Just the Two of Us”

- Kill of the remaining male chauvinist pigs in the resistance (i.e. all the men including Chewie) or at least make some of them gay, especially Poe

- There should absolutely be no women in The First Order. Make everyone more Harvey Weinstein-like. The First Order men should all be white, fat, screaming, aggressive, and constantly sweating.

reply

Rey could be Luke and Leia's kid from before they knew they were brother and sister. Obviously they had to keep it quiet and send the baby away.

reply

I like it! 😃

reply

The Chinese girl who cries all the time finds a holotape which proves that Admiral Ackbar was a bad military leader
... and probably gay.

reply

[deleted]

...then Chewbacca joins in

reply

Rey travels back in time to Return of the Jedi and defeats vader and the emperor.

reply

That´s good :-)

reply

Just announce that JJ is dropping out and Rian Johnson will be back to finish the trilogy. I can't think of anything worse than that for the franchise.

reply

JJ and RJ directing in tandem would be worse. I cannot think of something more equaling a cinematic catastrophe.

reply

It is revealed that Rey is the real chosen one, namely the "Only One" and she becomes the new leader of the Galaxy.

Rey forbids the Jedi Order and founds the new Shedi order - it's only allowed for females to become Shedi, as Jedi males have historically failed and only facilitate the dark side: The Galaxy has finally found peace, order and female balance.

Rey establishes a Shedi investigation to officially examine the failings of the Jedi:

- They uncover that there was sexual abuse in Luke's Order, he sexually molested Kylo in his sleep - the ignited light saber was just a cover story. This caused Kylo to become EmoRen.

- The scandal dates back to the time of the Jedi of the old Republic. Force Ghost Luke, Joda and Obi wan get charged with abuse by the Shedi council. They are found guilty of being Force toxic. The verdict is a memento & damnatio mori of their achievements and they have to apologize in public for their infamy and toxic depravity.

- It is discovered that male Jedi also systematically faked and manipulated midichlorian counts of female Jedi so to put them down and deny them their rightful place in the Jedi Council.

- It is found that Shedi unlike the Jedi do not have to learn the ways of the Force, but can download it like Rey.

- Rey has a Force vision realizing that there isn't a good and a light side of the Force, but only a toxic and a female side of the Force - the toxic side resides in the X-chromosome infested by toxic midichlorians: the core of all Force toxic-ness.

- X-Wing are forbidden as they are an expression of the toxic side of the Force and the X-chromosome. Y-Wings are re-introduced as the only real craft of the Shedi.

May the Force be female, always.

reply

😄

reply

The film has currently halted production so they can go back and incorporate some of your ideas into it now XD.

Well done.

reply

😃👏👏👏

reply

Jar Jar Binks returns, and he will be played by Adam Sandler.

reply

Gay Ewoks

reply