MovieChat Forums > Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017) Discussion > My Review

My Review

posted 7 years ago by dolemite72 (150)
8 replies | jump to latest

The empty, mind-numbingly boring (happy-meal tie-in) SW franchise continues with part VIII (or is that part V, or IX?) Disney (the proud owners of both LUCAS & FOX) now demand their 'cut' in robbing cross generations of their hard-earned coin....therefore (and solely 'therefore') this movie exists.

Mark Hamill (no stranger to 'car crashes') wishes he was elsewhere.....Carrie Fisher (who is elsewhere) has no such say in the matter.....primarily because Disney have shrewdly realised that it's far cheaper to keep CGI characters (quite literally) 'afloat' in space (as opposed to paying living thespians for such services)

Benecio Del Toro (clearly recovering from a stroke) is further proof of CGI-ing the dead...as his performance gives off the impression that he wished he had Carrie Fishers agent (or at very least her 'oxygen intake'?)

Thus rounding off a cast, filed with the usual RADA type Harry Potter-rejects.....and Adrian Edmundson (don't ask?)
Self-loathing skinny-jean wearing SJW's will delight at the various box-ticking agendas on display here: 'Feminism' and 'Multicultralism' (with an keen 'slanted' eye on the Chinese market) being the main order of the day (alongside the usual feeble Leftist anti-war rhetoric and fortune cookie philosophy)

The target demographic (i.e, Mongoloid children/comic book nerds/all the above) will delight at the inclusion of more cute 'Ewok-esque' creature/soft toy tie-in's, to make up for any lost ground (i.e, revenue) that the (equally spastic) 'Gaurdians Of The Galaxy' franchise may have stolen in the past 300 days?
And whilst such easily-pleased fans (rose-tinted specs now clearly 'superglued' to their skulls) continue to heap false praise on such moribund garbage....one must spare a thought for (the artistically 'destitute') George Lucas, as he picks up his paltry $50-$70m in residuals....whilst 'overseeing' further sequels/prequels/spin-off's concerning Jabba The Hutts sisters, aunties, cousins, roomates, milkman....to cover any/all 'exposition' that the fans of such, are too stupid to leave to their own imagination (or lack of?)

These are NOT 'event' movies....these are soulless, artless, plotless cash-cows, trotted out (by a bunch of billionaires) every 12 months, to rob you of what little money you have left....that *hasn't* been squandered on 'necessities' like: mobile phones/take-out coffee/PS4 games or other hipster shite?

Star Wars fans have clearly perfected the 'art' of lying to themselves (how else do you explain it's success?) but please don't attempt to convince me that these are 'good' movies....I know a 'Naked Emperor' when I see one....even if YOU don't?

Recap: A Boring, empty, dullard movie (for a likewise audience)

[–] Frogarama (12942) 7 years ago

The empty, mind-numbingly boring (happy-meal tie-in) SW franchise continues

Such a heavy-handed slight against the entire franchise, yet after 40 years of "mind-numbingly boring" entries, you STILL watched this one?

Personally, I tend to avoid franchises I feel that way about. This would be like dragging myself to see every Harry Potter movie and complaining the entire way.

Okay, maybe you have kids, and you took them? No, that can't be the case, otherwise you're literally calling your kids mongoloids... You had to choose to see this one, for yourself.

[–] dolemite72 (150) 7 years ago

Most kids nowadays are Mongoloids.

I enjoyed the first three movies (77 - 83) but even then (and especially now) they're rather overrated.
What I do take umbrage to.....are people who have been eating this shit up for 40 years who clearly refuse to take their nostalgia glasses off, rather than admit that these are really bad movies.

The franchise now is 100% playing on nostalgia (and little else) Maybe if the fans demanded more.....They might get it?

As it stands, the entire front/back/side story is dangerously close to becoming one big incesteous saga, given that everyone has links with each other (for the sake of cheap plot contrivance) which makes it an increasingly smaller galaxy, with each new movie.

If you're not one of the idiots I was referring to (in my lengthy rant) then please feel free to not get offended.

[–] Tulsanoodles (150) 7 years ago

I'm impressed by the amount of effort you are willing to put into writing a review for something you have no enthusiasm for. Were you paid or do you just feel better about yourself when you are name-calling and pretending it is all beneath you?

[–] dolemite72 (150) 7 years ago

Yes, I'm obviously getting paid for disliking this movie.

[–] janelsenor (2048) 7 years ago

[–] dolemite72 (150) 7 years ago

Calm, reasoned response....Thank you

[–] [deleted] 7 years ago

Be careful, the truth will get you no-where on the internet ... it's a sad time to be alive.

Liked things better when you had to have a certain level of technical knowledge to get 'on the line'.

[–] furiousstyles (4391) 7 years ago

good honest review, although rather harsh you are entitled to your opinion, these films will soon start to annoy the hell out people if there anything like TLJ