His Hair Piece

I expect DTV movies to be bad.

I've also gotten used to seeing Cage give his all in utterly derivative and all-but worthless star vehicles like this -- and enjoyed some of them, despite myself.

I've gotten used to seeing Cage covered by some positively surreal and in-no-way-believable toupees.

But this one just destroyed me. He'd walk on screen and I'd just start giggling. I had to leave the room.

That damned hair piece. It will be the reason I remember this movie even as I forget about, say, Stolen, Trespass, Season of the Witch -- even Joe, as much as I liked it, has already <snort> "receded" from my memory.

But that damned hair piece. A jet black birds' nest with a positively Legosian widow's peak and gigantic, swaggering sideburns. He just might have pulled it off ten years ago, but now his face is starting to show its age, putting to rest my own suspicions that Cage had entered into some kind of evil pact with William Fichtner for eternal life and stardom, for a price -- namely, starring in three projects per year that demean his talent.

I guess what depresses me about movies like Rage is that it's so bloody unoriginal and uninteresting, just a complete waste of time. It thinks it's an entertaining action thriller with depth and a twist, like that kid who is positive he'll make the varsity team; no one has the heart to straight-shoot him.

Please, Cage, come back to the light! You still have the makings of a varsity athlete!