100 things I learned from Dark Skies...
1. When aliens that can enter your house through closed windows and doors are coming for your children, put them in their room ALONE while you keep an eye outside their room in the hallway.
2. While guarding your children's room, if the TV in a different room turns on mysteriously you should immediately go see why, hey the kids are old enough to walk I'm sure they'll be fine.
3. 4 year olds get dressed all by themselves with no help from mom or dad, so no one ever notices 4 yr olds with bruising all over their bodies.
4. Teen angst makes you a prime target for alien abduction.
5. Always accuse your teenage boy's best friend, who happens to be smarter than the average donut, of branding your son's body with intricate geometric patterns.
6. The best way to deal with mysterious brandings on your son's body is to immediately beat up a teenager. Only works for adults.
7. If your wife suggests a possible alien invasion after all of the above has taken place, you should dismiss it and call her crazy.
8. Never question your children when they draw pictures of aliens UNLESS all of the above has happened, only after they have taken your child should you look at their drawings and other warning signs.
"It's so simple a six year old could figure it out."
"Quick! Someone get a six year old!"