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True story about watching Godzilla Minus One in theaters

posted a year ago by Heretic (326)
15 replies | jump to latest

I was looking for a night out with my emotional support alligator "Fluffy" and was thinking about what movie he'd like to see. Of course! The new Godzilla movie. It'd be perfect.

I got to the counter and ask, "Hey, can I get two tickets to Godzilla Minus One, please?".

The cashier said, "Huh? So you want one ticket to Godzilla?"

"No, I want two tickets to the movie Godzilla Minus One."

The cashier busted out a calculator, "Two... minus one...is...one."

"No, I want two tickets to the film where a gigantic beast stomps around and terrorizes people with loud sounds"

The cashier says, "Oh. You want two tickets to the Lizzo concert screening?"

"No, I want two tickets to Godzilla Minus One!"

"Look, when I took this job, the manager said there wouldn't be any math involved." And this guy was even employee of the month.

Eventually, we got the tickets, I got some beef jerky for Fluffy, and we went to enjoy the film.

The movie went on and it had some surprisingly strong antiwar themes. This was a big hit with the Trump supporters in the audience, but not so much with the Biden ones.

Eventually, the libtards started heckling the film. "The only asexual, nonbinary character in the film is Godzilla so of course they demonize him! Japan is such a white supremacist country!"

"Why did this hetero couple adopt a war orphan when there's so many same sex and gender nonconforming couples who deserve it more?"

"Why are they spending so much time talking about Godzilla destroying cities when the plight of transgender libs in post-World War 2 Japan is ignored altogether? And how come there's no women in leadership roles in the Japanese maritime industry?"

Eventually, some of the veteran Trump supporters in the theater, through a combination of being annoyed by the libtards and sympathizing with the main character's PTSD, had enough and laid the smackdown.

Then we went back to enjoying the film. Best Godzilla film since the original. Even Fluffy thought so.

The cinematography is phenomenal, the "less is more" approach to Godzilla screentime works wonders, the characters are awesome, the pacing is great, and the setting in post WW2 Japan is genius. 9/10. You want to see this one in theaters as it makes particularly strong use of the widescreen in its cinematography. This might be the best film of the year.

[–] nufsaid16 (685) a year ago

Your ridiculous rant against "libtards" or anyone who isn't a brain-dead trump supporter like you was really stupid, unfunny as hell, and had absolutely nothing to do with the film. You conservatives aren't even that damn funny to anybody but your narrow-minded selves---always trying to politicize everything that isn't even political. Give it a rest. Everything is not about hating everybody who dosen't bow down and kiss trumpty dumpty's ass--nobody's whole damn life revolves around that but you crazy Qnon nutcase freaks.

[–] Pete314 (3040) a year ago

The shoe seems to fit. So wear it in a decent manner...

[–] drhouse (81) a year ago

True story: right-wing comedians are almost never actually funny (but, boy do they think they are!)
The end.

[–] Satan2016 (25572) a year ago

True story: Woke comedians are never ever funny, but lefties think they are. But Bill Burr is hilarious!

[–] drhouse (81) 10 months ago

see, that's a false comparison, cuz you'd lose. The funniest comedians have always been left-wing, Bill Burr is one too

[–] nufsaid16 (685) 7 months ago

[deleted]

[–] nufsaid16 (685) 7 months ago

Right-wing comics do nothing but jump on the latest dumb-a** outrage the right gets all upset over, and try to ride that wave, and then it ends, and they got nothing else to build on act-wise. They're only as funny as whatever stupid, tired-a** right-wing fad they try to jump on.

Also, like most right-wing fools, you don't know what the term "woke" actually means. It does not even mean whatever bull**** the right-wing claims it means---all they have done was hijack it from black activists--who are the ones who made it popular in the first place---and use it as a blanket term for everyone and everything they don't like---mainly everything that isn't right-wing or conservative. Tired of right-wingers thinking everything has to revolve around them and their bull****. All the term "woke" means is to be aware of social injustice happening around you. That is literally all it means, not whatever some crazy magahead republican thinks it means. That's why when you right-wing nuts say, " I hate "woke" nonsense", you sound so damn ridiculous, because you obviously don't even knew what the term means. It's an African-American slang term, btw.

[–] UFOclub1977 (34) a year ago

What a unique name your wife has.

[–] MrMorden (66) a year ago

"No, I want two tickets to the film where a gigantic beast stomps around and terrorizes people with loud sounds"

The cashier says, "Oh. You want two tickets to the Lizzo concert screening?"

Lol. Strange that your post hasn't been remove as racist and anti-body-positive (or is it body-negative then?).

[–] subratjain1 (203) 10 months ago

COuld have used just the last paragraph. I read just that. Thanks, i am eagerly waiting for an OTT release as the recent hollywood godzillas were terrible.

[–] Heretic (326) 9 months ago

Then it wouldn't be a story, now would it?

[–] nufsaid16 (685) 7 months ago

Stfu, troll. You're not even funny.

[–] Heretic (326) 3 months ago

Jelly much?

You must've been one of the libtards we beat up at the theatre.

[–] HillbillyIdol (24) 6 months ago

You put time and energy to write all that and none of it was funny. Kudos!
I agree though with your review at the end - the movie was amazing.

[–] AndyKing1967 (38415) 3 months ago

I agree with the final paragraph.