ABUSE?


I'm an A2 film studies student from Liverpool and I am writing an essay on domestic violence and film. I have asked the question if this film is BDSM or domestic violence and I would love to hear a lot of responses so I can include them in my essay. In addition personally how do you feel domestic violence is represented in film and do you think it is a public or private issue.
Please if you have the time site a detailed response to this question it really would mean a lot. Many thanks Tia.

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The film tries to tone down the abuse but it's worse in the books.

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I would disagree..the belt issue is the only time Christian strikes Ana viciously..book or movie...he does spank, but Ana likes that.

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Hi isundling,

I agree, the spanking is naughty sex play, something a lot of couples engage in. It's meant to be a sexual turn-on, something not really developed in the film. The beating, however, revealed the real Christian, the self-loathing sexual sadist. I do wish the source material had been stronger and the writing/directing had been better. It was something Jamie could have pulled off with a more experienced director leading him.

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Could be...I had my eyes close for most of it...and we see the repercussions of his act on both Christian and Ana in Book/Movie 2...which is a real eye opener..

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Hi isundling,

You should keep your eyes open during that scene. I thought it was Jamie's strongest work in the film. The violence turned on the character and Jamie finally got to show glimpses of the darkness lurking beneath the attractive exterior.

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I don't know...my younger sister was a victim of spousal abuse...I have seen the real thing...but I might...just one of those things that was easier to read than watch..

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film is BDSM or domestic violence

Only just started watching the movie so can't say
do you feel domestic violence is represented in film and do you think it is a public or private issue

Yes and no. Domestic violence against women is certainly shown but I can't think of any films that show domestic violence against men which is sad because men are almost abused as much as women, think I read it was 60/40.

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What if the genders were switched around and the book and movie, were about a BDSM woman wanting to convert an inexperienced virgin man? Would that have made it better, worse, or different?

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Same for me...that is what Elena did to Christian...she was middle thirties...he was 15..seems like most guys would go for that...happens a lot with teachers..in fact there have been so many in the last few years..both male and female teachers.

But I disagree about the abuse..she wanted him to do it...she knew the safe words and didn't use them..in the next book, they get back together and he asks her why she didn't use the safe words...and she says "I forgot"...he is understandably upset...but does not attempt it again, and cleans out the Red Room...but Ana slowly gets him back into the kinky sex..just no belts..caning..whips..

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Better worse or different for who?
To the general public probably. There are plenty of movies that show the older woman taking the virginity of a young man/boy. Most people see women as being more fragile than men both mentally and physically and men don't have groups like feminism that would go crazy over anything that someone might consider abuse, so yes I think the general public would like it better if it was a female dominanting a man.

Better or worse for me? I wouldn't really care, I suppose it would make more sense I was under the impression that most dominants (dominatrix) are women and their willing partners mostly men. I don't see anything wrong with the film he wasn't exactly extreme with the BDSM just some light bondage and spanking, I would be shocked if that's all that happens in real life even with first timers. He made it very clear what he was into and gave her countless opportunities to leave, she asked him to do it then made him ashamed of his sexual preferences afterwards. So if anything I think she was in the wrong, if she was belittling him for being gay or bisexual people would go crazy so why is it ok to try and shame him for being into spanking something done by two consenting adults.

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I suppose that is the story the author was telling.....Ana was terribly naive..and in uncharted waters...she had no one to ask questions of..and all of this in less than a month..that would freak out a lot of women..me included...if I could remember what being virginal and naive felt like..

Plus I think Christian was going very easy on Ana the first two times in the Red Room..asking her if it hurt when he slapped her hand..and so on.. something he would have never done with one of his true subs...maybe that is why she thought she could take whatever it was his former subs would do for him..just part of the story..

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I think that was the problem for members of the BDSM community. Real doms don't enlist virginal girls, especially goofy dorks like Ana.

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True, and I can see that ..but it was out of the ordinary for him.. it went against everything Christian believed in...it was more pronounced in Grey, where he kept saying to himself.."get a grip,Grey"...he knew he was going against his rules...never going to where they worked...never going to their homes...never introducing them to anyone that mattered...no dates, not outside life with them..only subservient sex in the playroom.. but he still thought he could "train" her...and of course disaster...but...what's next?????

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Hi isundling,

The issue was that the film didn't show enough chemistry. I couldn't figure out why Grey would gamble on a goofy kid since I didn't see the attraction. The chemistry should have been overwhelming but it was two hours of blah.

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Yeah I didn't see any chemistry at all. It was painful at times. (I fast forwarded through a lot of scenes)
I didn't buy that Christian would go after a girl like Ana. Yes, he's never a real girlfriend but he's a billionaire and good looking so it doesn't make sense.

I believe it's abuse and the whole "she changed him for the better" is such a cliché

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RosieRiveter, I know the actors liked each other, but they couldn't make it work onscreen and the direction didn't help. Good film directors are quite helpful with bringing out the attraction between actors - compare the chemistry between the actors in the first Twilight film to the second - It went from high to zilch and I blame it on the director.

The issue with Ana, however, is a weakness of the book. Bella in Twilight is droll, funny, smart and cynical, and the lovers have a paranormal attraction. (I mention Twilight because E.L. James based Fifty on Twilight) Ana, however, is a zero in the book and a zero onscreen. No explanation from someone who fell in love with the novel can explain why a powerhouse like Christian Grey falls for a dork. She has no interests, no skills (other than oral sex), no charm or wit, and I shouldn't have to read Grey to figure out what he sees in her. Still, dorky Ana gets the gold ring - a true romantic fantasy.

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There was no abuse in this film, she wanted it the whole time. Show me one instance of abuse in this film, not the books.

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There was no abuse in this film, she wanted it the whole time. Show me one instance of abuse in this film, not the books.


If your partner monitors your phone it is not romantic; if he tells you what to wear, what to eat and when to exercise it isn’t out of mere concern; if he shows up at your home before you have told him where you live, it is not sweet; if he hits you it is not love. It is control and it is abuse. He's groomed her to think the spanking and toys are normal part of lovemaking.

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she doesn't do what he says...she puts him off...he pursues again


🚨There should be alarm bells going off in your head, not some fantasy love story!

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The book and movie don't have as much physical abuse despite the BDSM, the abuse is mostly psychological. Christian stalks Anastasia, he keeps her away from her friends, he alienates her, and he puts her completely under his control. Pretty much everything that happens in the book and movie is a warning sign of an abusive relationship. If Christian wasn't a mutli-gazillionaire, and just a regular Joe doing these things, it would be a horror movie, not considered one of the most "romantic and erotic" stories.

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I disagree... Christian knew Ana was not the right "type" when they had coffee, and told her he was all wrong for her...but he just couldn't let her go when she drunk dials him...Ana wouldn't sign the contract and put him off for several days, and ends up never signing the contract...he was not used to that...then she planned her trip to Savannah...without telling/asking Christian..he didn't like that...but she went anyway..she kept her roommate and best friend,Kate close..she met his family...he posed with her for a photo that was in the newspaper, introduced her as his girlfriend...he met her Dad..Christian wanted to go over the contract over dinner...she said no, more of a business meeting.and he agrees...none of these things he has EVER done with any woman before Ana.

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then she planned her trip to Savannah...without telling/asking Christian..he didn't like that...but she went anyway

Then he followed her there!

she met his family

Only cause his Mum showed up unannounced and made him!

she kept her roommate and best friend,Kate close

Which he hated, in "Grey" you can seen the disdain he has for her for standing up to him about his treatment of Ana!




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I'm new to IMDb but does isundling work for the franchise? Or is EL James? I like movies and books as much as the next gal but I have never seen someone defend something so much.

The evidence is there and you continue to make the same argument. He stalks, he abuses her and makes her feel guilty when she questions if she can be his sex slave. It's not romantic. This is what happens when you give a creep too much money, is a misogynic and has way too much power. Doesn't he blackmail his past submissives? I bet they were probably asking for it.

This guy gets off on *beep* and beating women who look like his biological mother? Do you really not see the problem with this?

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No...I work for none of the above...a question..did your read any of the books?..do you know or care what happens in the next two?..

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Yes, read all of the books. My opinion does not change.

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