Gabby (and Casey, to a lesser extent) signed on to be foster parents. She signed on to form a loving relationship for Louie's sake, not her own. She signed up to do what is best for him, not for herself.
Except that she didn't sign on to be a foster parent. Despite the fact that she is exactly that, she signed on to be Louie's mother because it's what she wanted.
As a foster parent, there is nothing guaranteed, except for heartache. Gabby rushed the process with a specific goal (be Louie's mom!) in mind and learned, apparently, absolutely nothing in the classes. She needs to fight for what is best for Louie, no matter what that is, no matter how much it hurts her. If it turns out that what is best for Louie is to be adopted by her and Matt, then great. But that is literally a last resort in foster care. Now that Dad has shown back up, that opens up a whole host of family members who had no idea that Louie existed. Even if Dad turns out not to be fit, DCFS would be legally required to vet any and every family member who steps forward with interest in Louie. In fact, now that there are new family members to consider, they would be doing a huge disservice to Louie to not approach the family members directly to talk to them about Louie and what they want and what he needs.
Being a foster parent, a good one, means that you MUST form a loving relationship with your foster kid(s). Kids know when you're phoning it in, and so an honest, genuine connection is necessary to form the very best attachments and bonds for them. It makes all the difference. In that regard, Gabby and Matt are doing it right. In literally every other aspect, they are so far off base and their entitlement is gross.
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doLLish
8 years ago
Gabby (and Casey, to a lesser extent) signed on to be foster parents. She signed on to form a loving relationship for Louie's sake, not her own. She signed up to do what is best for him, not for herself.
Except that she didn't sign on to be a foster parent. Despite the fact that she is exactly that, she signed on to be Louie's mother because it's what she wanted.
As a foster parent, there is nothing guaranteed, except for heartache. Gabby rushed the process with a specific goal (be Louie's mom!) in mind and learned, apparently, absolutely nothing in the classes. She needs to fight for what is best for Louie, no matter what that is, no matter how much it hurts her. If it turns out that what is best for Louie is to be adopted by her and Matt, then great. But that is literally a last resort in foster care. Now that Dad has shown back up, that opens up a whole host of family members who had no idea that Louie existed. Even if Dad turns out not to be fit, DCFS would be legally required to vet any and every family member who steps forward with interest in Louie. In fact, now that there are new family members to consider, they would be doing a huge disservice to Louie to not approach the family members directly to talk to them about Louie and what they want and what he needs.
Being a foster parent, a good one, means that you MUST form a loving relationship with your foster kid(s). Kids know when you're phoning it in, and so an honest, genuine connection is necessary to form the very best attachments and bonds for them. It makes all the difference. In that regard, Gabby and Matt are doing it right. In literally every other aspect, they are so far off base and their entitlement is gross.
This is so well said. Thank you.
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