100 Things I learned from Watching Black Sea... (SPOILERS)

... good stuff. I liked the first one especially.

11. When the guy who hatches a risky scheme involving a submarine mission unexpectedly commits suicide on the eve of the mission, you don't become terribly suspicious and try to investigate what may be going on.

#8 is hilarious.

12. Escape suits are magical. The boy wasn't allowed to take one gold bar in his hand if he wanted to "get off the bottom", then they sent up a suit with several hundred lbs worth straight to the top. 12kg gold bar = 26.5 lbs, only 10 of them inside the escape suit would weigh 265 lbs, and there appeared to be at least 30 inside one.

13. When starting a dangerous deep sea salvage mission, only bring enough air to make one excursion. Also leave the equipment to recharge air tanks at home with the deoderant.

14. Make sure there is no large reserve of fresh water in tanks. Just bring Perrier bottles. We're breathing each others air, lets all share the same two cases of water.

15. When draining fuel leave the full, top-heavy buckets of highly flammable mix on the thin rickety catwalk hovering over the only piece of moving, sparking equipment on the whole sub.

16. Instead of just removing a piece from the only working radio to forestall it's use, take the hatchet that you were chopping kindling with and chop up aforementioned radio. Then you are free to continue preparing kindling for the winter so ma doesn't have to walk outside when making grits on those cold winter mornings.

20. U boat compartments dry, unflooded, because they pumped all water out and dried with hair driers.

21. If it was originally unflooded, how the hell they entered without flooding the sub

22. U boat crew struggled there for weeks/months, so they found signs of cannibalism

Seen a lot of dumb movies, but this one deserves Oscar for dumbness.

23. When in a narrow trench 60m under water, don't rise up to a 40m or 20m depth where the trench will be wider.

24. A sonar specialist can navigate a trench, but will suddenly become deaf when he starts to pray and crash into a cliff.

25. A "banker" will have strong opinions about submarine safety, navigation, and capabilities; and question a 30 year veteran captain about every decision he makes.

26. A diver will listen to a "banker's" opinions about submarines over a captain he personally knows has decades of experience, because the diver is "psychotic".

27. Even after a submarine tilts 40 degrees and slams into the ocean floor, utensils, plates, and cups will still be sitting on galley tables, and a pallet of gold bars will still stay perfectly stacked too.

28. When a submarine touches the seabed, it just sits there instead of being instantly crushed by the amount of water above them. Normaly a submarine doesn't collapse because the water pressure around it is the same, but if it touches the floor, there is only water above it and it turns into a pancake.

29. When the all hangs in the balance, stick a known Russian-hating murderer down the back of your sub, so he can work in harmony with an angry yet somewhat vital Russian mechanic.

30. Oh, and throw in a known double-crossing company spy down there with them, just for good measure. Because the people you trust least in a life-threatening situation are best kept together and out of sight, right?

31. So we're going to play the 'navigate the narrows through the shallows' game with questionable bearings eh? Already close to our goal with little chance of hostile detection? Hmm, active sonar anybody? Nah, let's go with the passive sonar specialist who doesn't speak our language. What's not to like?*


* Admittedly, real-life modern subs with all the technological trappings still bump into each other and other stationary objects from time to time, so the moral of this story is; Once you've literally almost hit a wall, either be prepared to surface for 5 mins to get your proper bearings and calm the nerves of your crew AND/OR run the damn thing at periscope depth until the obstacle has passed OR 'Just Don't go there!' Then again, what a boring movie it would be if they were all life-loving, rational-minded folk :P

32. When flooded , close the hatchets right away and leave everyone for dead