22 Things I learned from watching Amber Alert

1- When you see a sign for an Amber Alert, the abductor will be right there two minutes later in front of you.

2- It's totally normal to act mostly either nonchalant or really annoying in these situations.

3- 14 year old boys barely speak.

4- When you call the police about an Amber Alert, they will tell you that you can follow the car at a safe distance, instead of asking their exact location and sending cops immediately.

5- It's totally appropriate to assume that you can follow someone for 50 mins, and think that person won't know you're following them.

6- It's totally okay to follow someone crazy, and think you'll be safe at all.

7- When speaking to the person you've been following, and that person says you can check their ID, call the police, walk over to the car....it makes more sense to just sit there after following him for miles and do absolutely nothing about it.

8- Molesters really care about their phone bills.

9- When you are at a busy gas station, and there are lots of people around and you realize there is indeed a stolen child in a car, just throw your microphone in to start an incognito mission, instead of shouting to every person around that there is a stolen child in the car, and immediately calling the police.

10- When a cop finally does show up, instead of using the info they already had, and seeing them pointing at the car that had the amber alert, they will pull you over instead and waste a lot of time, then completely disappear. And magically, after randomly driving around, you'll end up at a restaurant two mins away from the abductors house.

11- It's okay to hire really bad actors, and as a director be okay with the fact that the lead girl who stupidly is risking her and two other people's lives out of passion for this crime, to have a bit of a smile on her face the entire movie even when he is shrilling and whining, and says all her lines like she's about to laugh.

12- Your best friend will do whatever you tell him to do in his own car, just because.......

13- When you magically find the abductors house, and call the police, it's a really smart idea to call the abductor, and not think that he will recognize your voice at all, hear the other voice he's heard before in the back round yelling stupid things, and think he will believe you are a mobile customer service tech. Also you wont think that he will recognize the car he has seen you follow him in all day outside the house.

14- When the abductor says he's going to get candy, that is totally believable. Why wouldn't get randomly stop doing what he's doing to leave and get candy......it couldn't possibly be that he recognized your voice and car, and is setting you up.

15- When breaking into the abductors house, (not stupid or reckless at all) instead of course for waiting for the cops that never seem to come (because also for some unknown reason they cancelled the amber alert) it makes total sense to just look around instead of screaming out for the little girl and to check stupid places like an attic, or garage, and when you see that the abductor has 7 guns in the kitchen, it makes sense to stay inside the house.

16- Police never show up. Ever. At all. For Amber Alerts the police will literally not do a single thing.

17- 14 year old boys have the patience to film every single moment of the entire really smart mission they were on, without taking breaks, because all of their bickering and screaming and pointless conversations will help the police..... who never show up or show interest in what's going on.

18- When you finally find the girl, instead of picking up the entire cage and hauling ass out of the house, you should waste more time trying to open a locked cage. Because obviously you have all the time in the world since the abductor went to get candy.

19- When the abductor finds one of you in the car outside his house, he will just shoot that person in the shoulder.

20- The abductor knows his guns, but decides to keep the lights off when he shoots everyone so that there's a chance one of his followers that probably grabbed one of his guns can also shoot him back in the dark.

21- When gunshots go off like crazy in the dark, everyone will live but the child.

22- Young girls who try out for reality shows have absolutely no fear about following a dangerous child abductor.


Anything else anyone wants to add? Please do.