Did anyone got the idea that Neil's mother was abusing him and that's why he got sex addicted...cause in the scene when he was changing the lamp her mother unzipped his pants and his face is like: here we go again......and then in the end he says: I must be you Son from now on...
Allways do it with an Architect
Yeah, I did sense that there was an unhealthy attachment his mother had. Not sure if it's sexual abuse. Was just odd. I think she just didn't understand her limits and that might've added to his imbalance
shareThe mother lacked healthy boundaries w/her son, including sexual boundaries. She saw him as an extension of herself, there was no real Neil, only her need to be merged w/him. In actual life, a person in Neil's position would have increased chances of daily maintaining a sober life if his mother entered treatment herself.
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Hi,
I just watched the movie and also the deleted scenes, Neil's mom says you must hate me, do you have AIDS, have you been with hookers (he answers I've never been with a hooker), how can you be a sex addict when you don't have sex? Neil says MOM I'm going to ask you do to something that I've never asked before, just sit and listen. He then tells her from now on I am going to be your son, not your baby, not your husband and not your confident. I am only going to be your adult son. His mom shakes her head like a little kid being told what to do.
To me it is clear that the mom just didn't have a mature relationship with her son which didn't help him when he had particular grown up issues so as nice as she was she also wasn't able to be a good support system when he need it.
Pink was very good for him and I'm glad they didn't have sex. That would have turned it into a rom-com and way too predictable.
I agree with you and Daisytoo, another poster. The mother clearly lacked the proper boundaries and in my opinion, would most likely be diagnosed as "narcissistic". Usually the narcissistic parent views the child as an extension of herself. Studies show that most Addicts usually have a dysfunctional mother-child relationship. An unempathic, narcissistic, depressed or alcoholic mother has low tolerance for the child’s stress and frustrations. Nor is she able to supply the empathy, attention, nurturing and support that foster healthy development. Another mother may be be overly intrusive and attentive. She may be unconsciously seductive, perhaps using the child as a replacement for an emotionally unavailable spouse. The child perceives the mother’s inability to set appropriate boundaries as seductive and as a massive disillusionment. Later in life, the addict is hypersexual and has trouble setting boundaries. Real intimacy is experienced as an engulfing burden. The disillusionment of not experiencing appropriate parental boundaries is acted out later in life by the addict’s unconscious belief that the rules don’t apply to him with regard to sex, although he may be regulated and compliant in other parts of his life.
The best opinions are for family treatment until boundaries are established and adhered to or as a last resort, the "child" separates from the family and forms a new family on his own.
"Gentlemen you can't fight in here!" "This is the war room!" Dr. Strangelove
Thanks IcySpoon for your thorough assessment and explanation.
shareUsually the narcissistic parent views the child as an extension of herself. Studies show that most Addicts usually have a dysfunctional mother-child relationship.
And all the pieces matter (The Wire)share
I totally got the idea. All the characters except ruffalo displayed their reasons for the disorder. But neil's was real obvious
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