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Does this make any other girls wish they'd 'experimented' more?

posted 11 years ago by Foxxyx
18 replies | jump to latest

Watching movies like this makes high-school and college seem like this big liberal *beep* Somehow I didn't get that impression during my real-life experiences at school and university (in the UK).

I did know at least one girl who had sex with 10 people in the first 4/5 months at university, but equally I knew many girls who were virgins all throughout university (and these were attractive girls who frequently went clubbing and/or made out with guys). A lot of girls would just have foreplay and go no further (...or at least they claimed). My university was very prestigious and difficult to get into, so this may have something to do with the type of girls who attended it. But the general feeling was that being hot & unobtainable was sexier than being the campus bike.

Throughout high-school and college, I was always acutely aware that being sexual as a girl came with more judgement (vs. a boy). Obviously I knew some girls did sleep around, but it was something you wouldn't really talk about. The general perception was that girls who slept around were either the dumb, desperate, plain girls (80%) or the really hot sluts who would always bag a Brad Pitt lookalike which made it okay (20%). Given I wasn't sure where I fit on this scale, abstaining was always more appealing.

But having finished university last year, I'm thinking that perhaps I was too uptight and prudish? Maybe I should have sexually experimented more? I think my experience (or lack thereof) had a lot to do with the group of girls I was friends with. They were very high-maintenance and judgmental of any girls who slept around (unless it was a rare "mistake" that you could chat to your girlfriends about for the next 2 years). An average night out would be getting all dolled up for clubbing just to stand around looking hot, perhaps grinding or making out (kissing) with a guy, but definitely not sleeping with him.

Will I regret not being more carefree? Or is it a good thing that I came out of university with my dignity fully intact?

[–] DeusExKatrina 11 years ago

Meh, sex isn't super important to me so I don't mind that I've never experimented too extensively. I get much more wistful when I watch something like Glee or Volleyball and I think of all the great school clubs/sports I could have been a part of if I had put my mind to it. :-p

If it's society's warped sexual double standard that kept you from experimenting, that's unfortunate. I don't think your dignity was ever at stake either way. But keep in mind, you ain't dead yet, hun. If you want to experiment you are more than capable of doing it right now! Hell if you just got out of university, what are you so worried about? You're still in your youth, your prime, and the peak of your sexual powers.

Needless to say, there's nothing you could do in Uni that you can't do tonight if you want to. Mighta been minutely easier at Uni where you'd be surrounded by people your age 24/7, but you can find someone to sleep with anywhere you go. So if you're worried about having regrets, why not make the worry obsolete and do something wild? Socrates said the unexamined life is not worth living, but I've always felt that the unexperienced life was the one that was lacking.

'Course if it's not something you want to do, don't let some silly movie convince you. Search your heart -- you know deep down whether or not this is something you really want to do. If it's something you think you'd genuinely enjoy, don't let the chance slip through your fingers. But if it's something you want to do just to have done it, it's probably not a good idea. If you're not sure which side you're on, think about how you felt while reading this... I'm no soothsayer but you probably had a more visceral positive or negative reaction while reading the pros or the cons.

---
"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the antidote to shame."

[–] krmaml 11 years ago

Good thing that its never an inability to attract guys that stops girls from experimenting. Even below average looking / obese girls can experiment as much as they want.

[–] taijiquan12 10 years ago

but you can find someone to sleep with anywhere you go-
DeusExKatrina

I think your overall post was good, but I had to nitpick at this detail, because sometimes I think location is a huge part of stopping people from dating or finding someone to sleep with, etc.

Being in a smalltown, being surrounded by nightlife that doesn't fit with what you're interested in, or any number of geographical circumstances can definitely affect your ability to hook up, I think. The culture and type of people in an area can be a major thing to tackle. And don't just say that you can travel, because picking up your life and moving it is very demanding for some people, if not impossible, for financial or whatever other reasons.

"Bulls**t MR.Han Man!!"--Jim Kelly in Enter the Dragon

[–] DeusExKatrina 10 years ago

I just mean that you can find people who will sleep with you anywhere, which I think is very accurate. I didn't necessarily mean they'd be people you'd actually want to sleep with, hahaha. She did say she went off to Uni so that would probably open up the field quite a bit. But you're right, it can be difficult to find viable partners.

---
"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the antidote to shame."

[–] taijiquan12 10 years ago

I just mean that you can find people who will sleep with you anywhere, which I think is very accurate.

Overall I see what you mean, but I really have to say you kind of seem to making the idea of going out and finding someone to be pretty easy, of course personal standards affect what you're going to consider "viable", I was just saying that if you're in an area geographically, with a certain type of people that may not agree with/understand your lifestyle or choices, that can for sure be a barrier to hooking up.
And I'm saying that, due to your location, if you're the black sheep in a small area where not many people are like you, it could really affect their desire to want to get with you, not just you wanting to get with them also.

But you are right she mentioned going to a university, so that's probably a moot point in her case (it might not apply now, since she isn't anymore), and I was just kind of arguing just to argue (not that I have a personal beef with you but that just can happen on discussion boards lol).

Another factor is that she's a woman and you wrote your post and are coming from her perspective, and giving advice based on that perspective, and I wasn't necessarily taking that into account when talking about the ease of finding sex partners.

"Bulls**t MR.Han Man!!"--Jim Kelly in Enter the Dragon

[–] youngexec 11 years ago

If you envy sluts then I think you will regret it, but otherwise probably not. Just so you know. You can be wild and experiment... with a boyfriend. That's what sluts don't tell good girls. You can have fun and not be slutty about it.

[–] MovieFan00 (211) 5 years ago

Oh grow up. You’re obsessed with sex. “Sluts” and “good girls”. Talk about a pathetic Madonna/white complex.

[–] lola_mento 11 years ago

I stopped reading after you said "liberal *beep* (whatever beep is)
Is this movie part of a big conspiracy from the "liberal media" to turn young girls into sluts?

GTFO...

[–] DeusExKatrina 11 years ago

Hey don't be hard on her, I don't think she meant it that way. The beep was probably something like *beep* fest a.k.a. orgy. There are a lot of misogynistic trolls on this board but I see no reason to assume this poster is one of them. If you read the post, she's just worried that she didn't experiment enough. If anything she's a victim of the patriarchy more so than a defender of it.

Unfortunately I'm not sure Foxxy has actually checked back on the thread at all. I'd be curious to hear what decision she came to.

---
"Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the antidote to shame."

[–] krmaml 11 years ago

I think that most women know that having casual sex is just a matter of choice. When something is so easy to obtain, perhaps its human nature to see it as less valuable.

Like you say, the more hot/ high maintence girls were more into being coque-teases than actually banging guys. Meanwhile its well documented that less attractive / overweight girls tend to be more promiscuous and open to experimenting. This tells us that girls dont need to be conventionally attractive in order to be promiscuous and have lots of casual sex.

On the other hand its the complete opposite for guys. For guys, being promiscuous is positvely correlated with how hot, sexy, tall, popular they are. Attractive guys get the opportunity to have casual sex and fun..average guys usually dont. So naturally its regarded as something valuable.

[–] Sweetest99 11 years ago

I wish I had experimented a little more, absolutely. My problem was that I wasn't very good at taking the hints and the guys were not forward enough. So I wasn't as active until I was about 21 and then I made up for missing out on that. I think as long as you get it out of your system at some point in life you are all good. What you don't want is to go through life with regrets that way or to be trapped in a long term relationship and be thinking "I wish I had experimented more." That's just sad. And maybe asking for trouble. It's not fair to your relationship partner either.

Tha Hot Girlz -- THE99 And 4 Eva!

[–] youngexec 11 years ago

What's not fair to a relationship partner is to be a whore. I mean it's sooo impossible to "experiment" with your boyfriend or something like that. F'ing sluts and their slut mentality.

[–] Sweetest99 10 years ago

This isn't about cheating on a boyfriend. If your relationship partner doesn't approve of your past, then clearly you wouldn't be in a relationship with someone like that in the first place! And if you have some unease about how many people your partner has been with, whether you are a man OR a woman, then you yourself have probably not been with enough other people.

Tha Hot Girlz -- THE99 And 4 Eva!

[–] youngexec 10 years ago

Cause we all know girls tell the truth about how slutty they were in the past. Lol. What a dumb comment from an obvious slut.

[–] MovieFan00 (211) 5 years ago

Lol you clearly post on incel sites. How sad.

[–] nikkiten1979 10 years ago

You can experiment more with one partner. Sleeping around with a bunch of dudes/girls doesn't mean you're experimenting more - you're just sleeping with more people. Doesn't mean you're getting better with each person. A bunch of one night stands and sleep arounds will not turn you in a sex goddess or god. It's not about quantity, but quality. If you want a good and fun sex life you need to become more open to try new things with that one partner. It's easier to try new things with someone you're comfortable with - and that's rarely someone you just meet.

can't outrun your own shadow

[–] deaddisco79 8 years ago

You have plenty of time to experiment. I was a late bloomer, and when I eventually got around to it, I was in strictly monogamous relationships. Now it's been a few years and I'm older (but not that old, I'm still a few years shy of 30...although 30 isn't that old either), and I view sex differently. I'm much more open about it and not as judgemental as I used to be. And no, I did not get fat or ugly. People still think I'm college/university aged. So you definitely have nothing to worry about.

[–] ElKabong1940 (323) 3 years ago

I know a guy from the Navy who told me everyone was getting sex in high school. He went to a Christen university and said nobody was getting sex at the school.