MovieChat Forums > Switched at Birth (2011) Discussion > My take on this show

My take on this show

posted 9 years ago by adultsurvivorofpeerabuse
4 replies | jump to latest

I have been binge watching this on Netflix over the past couple of weeks. Switched at Birth stories are interesting yet are rare. I have read some that had happy endings while others not so much. I would think it would be confusing to find out that your parents are not the ones who have birth to you. The one who did has the other child. It could feel like a crisis of identity or something......I also read on Kindle the book Kathryn wrote. Wofford College is in my hometown and found that a bit interesting.

The characters and circumstances on this show are interesting. You have a famous baseball player who has the perfect picture. The wife, two kids (one son and one daughter), a nice home, school etc. Life has been pretty good to them and they do not have the average struggle of finances and other concerns. They are charitable, hospitable and pretty much keep up with the Jones so to speak. Then, in the next family you have a single mother living in a dangerous neighborhood with her mother and deaf daughter. Her man walked out on her because he thought she had an affair as their daughter did not look like either of them. Mom has demons of her own such as alcoholism. In family one the mom is upbeat, cheerful and is kind-hearted. In family two you have a mom who is suspicious of most things or people she does not know. She has seen how ugly life gets and holds on to what she has....even if that is her daughter. A daughter she did not give birth to.

I cannot stand Johns dad. What a pompus prick. I can understand why John fought NOT to be like him. Dealing with people like him is toxic and they were wise to keep the kids away from him. I cannot stand Kathryn's mom either. The way she treated Bay after they learned of the switch was horrible. You cannot trade kids for kids. Who cares how they came into the world. They are here and that was what everyone wanted. To have a child in their lives. However, I LOVE Regina's mom. She is very wise and everyone would do well to listen to her and follow her example. She is not out to hurt anyone. She sees a potentially dangerous situation and tries to prevent bad things from happening like turning Angelo in to Immigration. She knew what he was capable of and how he affected her daughter and grand-daughter.

John and Kathryn have been very hospitable to Regina and her family. Yes, they can be overbearing (John especially). However, I do not know how I would feel or act if I found out the daughter I raised for 16 years was not mine. John is a very type A personality. He does work hard though and has been gracious to not only the Vasquez family but to their friends as well. Like Hiring Travis to work for him when he was in dire straights. Kathryn is the epitome of Betty Crocker. She is a stay at home mom who supports John and also is there for the kids. I find her to a little thin skinned but does not make her bad. Everyone is wired differently.

Regina and Angelo are not stupid but make a lot of bad decisions. Angelo giving Daphne a food truck? Who give a 16 year old something like that? At the same time, this could well be because neither really had opportunities the Kennishes have had. When something does go well I think they do not know how to always handle it. I hate that Angelo passed as Daphne was able to form a bond with him and Bay was able to know him the short time she did.

I like how the show does not view the deaf culture as people who cannot do anything in life. I like how despite their deafness they are able to function in the real world. Plus, its nice to see how the two families came together and brought these two worlds together. People with any disability or handicap can do things and well. Its a matter of not holding them back and allowing them to try.

I know it seems as if Daphne is the one everyone cared about and not Bay. However, despite what it looks like it may not be the case. When the Kennishes learned of Daphne they did get excited and hover. That is just how they are as a family. They were excited to learn of her. They embrace people around them. As for Regina, as I mentioned earlier, she will hold on to what is hers to the death. These moms may have had the wrong children but they both bonded with these wrong children. Regina did not come for Bay when she learned of the switch because she feared losing both girls due to poverty and alcoholism. Her relationship with Angelo was already hanging by a thread and her mom was not in her life then. Plus, she did not want to upset Bays life. Even though they were only three, they were forming personalities and identities of their own. It can be traumatic to take that away from them. Regina cared for Bay more than anyone realized. She is not an excitable, hovering and eager like the Kennishes are. The Kennishes are extraverted go getters. Regina is more introverted and to herself. She is a more laid back type of person. Again, Regina makes bad decisions and tends to live on the edge when the opportunity comes. I remember Kathryn made the comment that she hardly knew Daphne but felt closer to Bay. Well yeah, Bay was the child she bonded with. Regina bonded with Daphne and appeared to favor Daphne. I do not see it as favoritism but as her personality. As an introvert myself, it takes me a while to warm up to someone. Even if it is family. I have to say in this case of not mentioning the switch, I have an idea of why Regina did what she did. However, when these two families became one, I like how they learned from each other. Regina stopped dissing Mission Hills. Kathryn and John realized that not everyone was as fortunate as they were when it came to life. I saw both go into East Riverside at different times. It gave them another view of how some are not as fortunate.

I like how they showed the genetic part of this. Daphne inheriting interest in sports, cooking and of course looking like them. Then Bay and her art and creativity that she got from Regina. Yet the enviornmental side. If Daphne had grown up with her biological parents, I fear she would have grown into an ungrateful brat. Bay is not perfect but I see where she frowns on some of this stuff. I remember in a couple of episodes where Bay and Daphne did move in with their biological parents. It did not feel right to me and I could tell it did not feel right to the girls. Kathryn pushing Daphne in tennis. Daphne learned to enjoy sports and not get uptight about them. I think Bay faired better but I know when she went back to J and K she felt more at home. It shows both genetics and enviornment are both important when we grow up.

Anyhoots, this is long. If you read this far I commend you! Its a good show and has gone places no other show has gone before. I hate that it will be over after the fifth season. I do hope Netflix will keep it on their line up. Have a good day. :)

[–] Henrietta_S 9 years ago

Yet the enviornmental side. If Daphne had grown up with her biological parents, I fear she would have grown into an ungrateful brat.

She already did.

I can't say I agree. Well, yes, everyone learned a lot of new things and got more and fulfilling experience in life, and the reality of the deaf community is great.

But the characters are far from great. Regina and John are both horribly selfish people, and they and Kathryn do favour Daphne a LOT.

The problem is, I think the show overemphasized nurture, in particular the nurture by wealthy parents. When Bay lived with Regina and Angelo, I was so happy to see them interact because I had waited so long for them to have family bonding-time. But then, recall when Kathryn and Daphne came over to bring some food? They looked at each other in shock when they saw Regina, Angelo and Bay having fun and being a happy family in that moment.
And that's what I think this show has done wrong all along. It puts more focus on the bonding between John, Kathryn and Daphne, and too little on the bonding between Regina, Angelo and Bay.
On the other hand, Bay's storylines outside of the family are of her finding herself, while Daphne's are mostly guys and other, frankly ridiculous, small storylines. Like, being the white saviour for Sharee, or something.

I would have loved to see Daphne spending more time questioning her identity. It was as if she was mentally disabled as well - when Bay asked her in the first or second episode "Did you ever feel different, growing up?", Daphne replied "Well, yeah. I'm deaf".
The show never spent time on Daphne dealing with the switch at all. She just shrugged it off. But at the same time, it never properly dealt with Bay dealing with her parents, Angelo and Regina.

The balance was all off. And I felt disgusted when Kathryn and Daphne were all like "Damn, how dare they be happy without us!" as if it was all about them and only about them. I had waited at least an entire season to see some bonding between Bay and her parents, but of course those two need to cast a shadow over it.

No, really, I think the show is one of the most unbalanced ones I have ever seen.

Besides that, the show does show that environment is not as important growing up. Both Bay and Daphne turned out a lot like their parents. I would have liked that more if they had handled it better, but alas, it is what it is.

[–] adultsurvivorofpeerabuse 9 years ago

I agree.....it was good to see Bay, Regina and Angelo together under the same roof. It was good to see that and to see the dynamic in how it could have been. If the girls had not been switched I am sure Regina and Angelo would have remained together as the issue was Daphne not looking like them and he thought Regina cheated on him. Despite the drama and pain these two created, Regina and Angelo did belong together. I remember Kathryn and Daphne walking in on Bay and her bio parents. They did seem uncomfortable. It was like they did not know how to react...or it took them off guard.

John can get selfish and yes, always thinks they need to "fix things." Regina just makes bad decisions. Period. Never thinks of how these decisions affect Bay or Daphne. Or Adriana and the Kennishes. Example: The man in season four wanted for kidnapping. Instead of telling the cops she lets him move in on the Kennish property. Also, involving the girls in this stuff. As for favoring Daphne......I always felt from the J and K end it was just their way and finding their biological child. Regina because she had bonded with Daphne already. Plus,knowing about the switch when the girls were three. I do think all three are more protective of Daphne than Bay. It could be that Daphne is deaf. In some ways I can understand that. They feel Bay can take care of herself much better than Daphne.....I am speculating here. However, I am not getting favoritism as much. Katherine has always been good to both girls. Then again, these girls are two different people and maybe they are treating them as they feel they need to be treated...I think Bay feels it with Regina because Regina not coming for her when she was three still stays with her. That is a something I do not think either will overcome. I think both girls get jealous when their bio moms spend time with the other. Like Daphne did not like Bay moving in with Regina at Angelos and at first Bay did not like J and K hovering over Daphne. These relationships all around are complicated and I do not think anyone has avoided being affected in some way by them. These are also rare circumstances so it can be hard to figure which way to go, how to exist and what role to fit into. Two families become one for the children. Do they co-parent or not? Who is the head of the household? Are the girls now sisters? Or swisters as I have seen used before. Then there are other siblings like Toby. He probably feels more lost than anyone.

Yes, we have seen how Bay has been affected by the switch more than Daphne. Some people are better at shrugging stuff off than others. I did like the Bay and Emmett relationship initially. She was good for him and showed him that being with hearing people is not the worst thing in the world. I remember at one time his world did not include hearing people. She has brought some good to him. As for Tank, she helped him sink himself. She was bad for him....

I see both biology and psychology in this. I mentioned I feared Daphne would have been spoiled had she grown up with her bio family. I imagine Bay would have been an at risk teen. At this point though, I am seeing where both are playing into this. Then again, it may be this generation with technology and all kinds of gadgets to keep up in the world today. Kids today are not no doubt more spoiled than we were growing up.

These characters are all flawed so it can be easy to see them as horrible one episode and two episodes later feel they are saints. I wonder what the next season brings.

[–] Henrietta_S 9 years ago

I agree.....it was good to see Bay, Regina and Angelo together under the same roof. It was good to see that and to see the dynamic in how it could have been. If the girls had not been switched I am sure Regina and Angelo would have remained together as the issue was Daphne not looking like them and he thought Regina cheated on him. Despite the drama and pain these two created, Regina and Angelo did belong together. I remember Kathryn and Daphne walking in on Bay and her bio parents. They did seem uncomfortable. It was like they did not know how to react...or it took them off guard.

To me, they looked like they were horrified at the thought that Bay, Regina and Angelo could have a relationship apart from them.

What bothers me about the alternative storyline like the one christmas special was that they insisted on making Bay deaf. Sure, it's good as a storytelling tool, but Bay is not Daphne and might not even have contracted Meningitis, or gone deaf from the antibiotic.

Example: The man in season four wanted for kidnapping. Instead of telling the cops she lets him move in on the Kennish property.

Give the whole story there, would you? He wasn't just "a man", he was her new lover and she was biased in his favour. Blindness because of love happens to the best of us.

As for favoring Daphne......I always felt from the J and K end it was just their way and finding their biological child. Regina because she had bonded with Daphne already. Plus,knowing about the switch when the girls were three.

The problem is, J&K are outright treating Bay like a second-class daughter. John was grateful when Bay took the fall for Daphne. Kathryn suspected Bay of influencing Daphne in a bad way when Daphne lied to them to get money for Emmett's motorcycle.

I think both girls get jealous when their bio moms spend time with the other. Like Daphne did not like Bay moving in with Regina at Angelos and at first Bay did not like J and K hovering over Daphne.

The problem is, when Bay didn't like it, it was treated as something she had to overcome. When Daphne did it, she was catered to like always.

These relationships all around are complicated and I do not think anyone has avoided being affected in some way by them.

Daphne wasn't phased by any of it at all.

Yes, we have seen how Bay has been affected by the switch more than Daphne. Some people are better at shrugging stuff off than others.

This isn't the kind of thing you just "shrug off"...

I did like the Bay and Emmett relationship initially. She was good for him and showed him that being with hearing people is not the worst thing in the world. I remember at one time his world did not include hearing people. She has brought some good to him. As for Tank, she helped him sink himself. She was bad for him....

Maybe, to Emmett. Later on, he became a jerk.

As for Tank, lolnope. Tank made his own bed there by caring only about his own education and reputation when Bay shared her feelings about that night - if you can't even bother to express concern for why your friend feels violated by you, you are both a bad friend and pretty much forcing your friend to not go over this with you alone.

Had Tank expressed shock that Bay would feel violated by him, concern for the fact that she felt violated, I am very sure that she would have talked this over with him.
Instead, he was "me, me, me". No, Tank sunk himself.

I see both biology and psychology in this. I mentioned I feared Daphne would have been spoiled had she grown up with her bio family. I imagine Bay would have been an at risk teen. At this point though, I am seeing where both are playing into this. Then again, it may be this generation with technology and all kinds of gadgets to keep up in the world today. Kids today are not no doubt more spoiled than we were growing up.

THAT is BS. Access to modern technology for most teens these days does not mean that they are necessarily spoiled, nor does it mean that everyone has the same access to it.

These characters are all flawed so it can be easy to see them as horrible one episode and two episodes later feel they are saints. I wonder what the next season brings.

Eh, no, I'm pretty solid on who's what. Daphne is a spoiled brat with major mental health issues. Bay is a faulty but nice person who has strong emotions about things. Regina has many views I agree with, but acts like an asshat. J&K treat their biological daughter better than Bay.
And so on.

[–] adultsurvivorofpeerabuse 9 years ago

No more time to spend on a TV show like before. Agree to disagree and move on. Have a nice day. :)