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The Gunslinger - Self Observation (and spoilers!)

posted 8 years ago by joannatn
31 replies | jump to latest

I first read The Gunslinger at the age of 13, and as one could imagine, I didn't really get it. I was left scratching my head, and if I hadn't gotten it for my birthday in a box set that included Drawing of the Three, I might not have ever picked it up (and missed out on one of the best series of books I've ever read). I picked it up again after my daughter's birth, but as a new, first time mother, you can imagine how hard it was to focus on Roland and Mid-World between feedings, diaper changes and sleep deprivation. So of course with the movie being worked on, I found myself missing Roland and his ka-tet, so I read, and I finished it last night. At last I noticed something!

So I read the book thrice now, and at different stages of my life. I've certainly changed a lot, but the one constant that has remained after every reading was an odd feeling of disquiet... or perhaps discomfort is a better word? At any rate, I think I finally pinpointed what it is: At the end of The Gunslinger I resent Roland. I do. I want to love him. I want to understand how important his mission is. I want to understand the decisions he makes. But I don't understand how anyone can sacrifice a child they purport to love for anything. I mean... what would that do to one's humanity? To one's soul?

So I was just curious if anyone feels the same thing at the end of the first book? How do you get past it? Later I come to love Roland. I don't think he can really quite atone for the decision he made under the mountain, but I think he feels the same way, too. It's just odd for me to stick by an antagonist I harbor resentment for, and while I "get over it," a little piece of me always reminds me of one of the most important choices he ever made in his life, and that little piece of me can't get over it.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts/insight you might want to share!

[–] Arm_the_Masses 8 years ago

I'd say this, in part, is what makes his journey interesting. When we are able to both loathe and love a character that's a fascinating piece of writing.

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

[–] ButcherOfTull 8 years ago

Randall Flagg is the true hero of the story.

[–] sugrnspyce4 8 years ago

I understand what you're saying, because after finishing The Gunslinger, I felt much the same way. For me, it was "What kind of guy are we dealing with here?" in the very beginning. Then during the Tull flashback, it was "Wow - the kids had to go too? Roland's pretty ruthless. But he's pretty badass, though." And even after knowing he's killed children before, I was still surprised, angry, and disappointed with him when he let Jake fall. But after thinking about it, Walter didn't really give him much of a choice: Save the boy you care for, or forfeit the answers you seek and possibly allow all of existence be destroyed. A tough decision if there ever was one. But yeah, even with that in mind, part of me still resented him a little for it.

As for how I got over it, I guess it was continuing to read the series and realizing that royal blood, talented hands, and general badassery aside, Roland is a flawed, but essentially good man. And, of course, Roland taking advantage of his second chance with Jake when he came back into the story helped a great deal.

[–] tinasparklesau 8 years ago

At the end of The Gunslinger I resent Roland.

Oh absolutely. This is why The Gunslinger is probably my favourite in the series behind tDotT. Not only is it a fascinating read but it sets the tone for Roland to be one of the most fascinating characters ever written imo. He's not just a bad guy, he is a real bad man. There's still a touch of humanity, which for me makes my feelings towards Roland even more umm *bitter* isn't the right word but close enough as it creates my own internal conflict in wanting to believe there is enough good still in him to save himself from his own demons. But i can't, he proves in book 1 that he has enough self awareness, yet is willing to commit to doing the most heinous of things in his self obsessed quest.

Some would say that Roland is a flawed anti-hero, but i would disagree with this sentiment until he starts forming his ka-tet. In the subsequent books he even acknowledges that he loves his ka-tet but would still sacrifice them for the tower (but knows to keep this thought to himself) *rips hair out*... I have a love/hate relationship with Roland, and at times it drives me nuts seeing how much his ka-tet humanises him and how far he progresses from the Roland in book 1. The sheer brutality of Roland in The Gunslinger make it perhaps the most important book in the entire series imo. If it wasn't for book 1 and our introduction to this Roland, the character development of him wouldn't have sunk into my subconscious quite like it has in such a visceral way.

a little piece of me always reminds me of one of the most important choices he ever made in his life, and that little piece of me can't get over it.

I feel the same! After reading The Gunslinger, i was immensely intrigued by every little thought, word and action of Rolands from thereon in. Could he ever truly redeem himself, could i ever forgive him myself? He is such a wonderful literary ride into one's own self reflection and psyche. King's Roland has the capacity to make one question themselves at times, i think this is why there is so much passion for TDT.

Great post 👍

[–] jerryhammond38 8 years ago

I felt the same and this ties itself into the ending of the story perfectly. However, later on I feel like Roland does enough to redeem himself. That's why thr ending never quite jibes with me.

It brings up alot on interesting questions though.

[–] joannatn 8 years ago

Thanks for the (legitimate) responses, guys! I guess some people will be on the fence about Roland's redemption. I was just discussing this last night with my husband and he feels much the same as I do; everything Roland goes through, everything he does right, everything he's willing to sacrifice of himself... Is any of that truly enough to pay for the life of a child that loves, trusts and depends on you? Of course, some of our maternal/paternal instincts are going to come into play for us (all the breeders, represent), but just from a human standpoint, that sacrifice is pretty heinous.

I do think it's interesting, though, as others have stated, that no matter how we feel about Roland's sacrifice/betrayal, all of us were willing to stick with him. There is something about him that makes him too compelling to just cast aside. And despite the fact part of me will never get over what he did, the rest of me wants to at least see what he'll do to try.

Now if ANY of that bleeds into this movie, it truly will be worth the wait! But conveying that on screen has never been an easy feat. And the wait continues...