Merchandising, anyone? - The Dark Tower (2017) Discussion

[–] StormBringer328 8 years ago

T-shirts & wall posters for sure. Maybe a lunch pale? Ha. Maybe action figures, like the Walking Dead ones rather than say Star Wars figures. Probably not a whole lot of merchandising for this first entry. If Dot3 is made it will probably get more merchandising.

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

I can hold out hope for an Oy stuffed-animal come the second or third film .

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] joannatn 8 years ago

Oy would certainly go over better than a were-spider or lobstrosity or the demon baby doll. I'm sure the kiddos would go crazy for a miniature thinny, too (the deluxe edition makes a nauseating, insanity inspiring noise)!

Hmm... Maybe I'll just stick with a tee and a little Oy I can keep peeking out of my purse. That might be better.

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[–] robbytkjr 8 years ago

Definately figurines.
Roland , Jake, Man in Black, Sayre, Pimli, Tirana,
Susan Delgado. Collect them all!!

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[–] The_Shatner_Principle 8 years ago

My cash is simply waiting, begging for me to give it to them. I want MANY things!

I'll start with a badass poster to begin with.

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[–] sugrnspyce4 8 years ago

My cash is simply waiting, begging for me to give it to them. I want MANY things!

I'll start with a badass poster to begin with.

LOL - same.

Also, I don't know about anybody else, but I'd love a full-scale replica of the rose, complete with singing and a glowing center. :)

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

How about a faux-scrimshaw skoldpadda?

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] sugrnspyce4 8 years ago

How about a faux-scrimshaw skoldpadda?

I'd love to see that too. 

Speaking of which, assuming the films get this far, I wonder if we'd get figurines or statuettes of the Guardians of the Beams or replicas of the Bends o' the Bow/Maerlyn's Rainbow?

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

or replicas of the Bends o' the Bow/Maerlyn's Rainbow?

Disclaimer sticker for Maerlyn's Grapefruit: "Does not actually possess clairvoyant abilities."

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] sugrnspyce4 8 years ago

Disclaimer sticker for Maerlyn's Grapefruit: "Does not actually possess clairvoyant abilities."

...Exactly.

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[–] Spider198 8 years ago

They don't tend to make much merchandise for flop films.

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

....................../´¯/)
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........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] MatthewKeen 8 years ago



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Listen to them—the children of the night. What music they make!

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

I momentarily subscribed to the maxim "silence is golden".

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] Spider198 8 years ago

Showing your level of intelligence there Wesker.

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[–] sugrnspyce4 8 years ago

They don't tend to make much merchandise for flop films.

Oh, come on. I know you're still trying really hard to earn your Bumhug Badge, but as a fan of the story, I'd think you'd at least be a little excited about the potential of some Dark Tower merchandise.

So let's have it - what Dark Tower merchandise would you like to see?

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[–] Spider198 8 years ago

I don't want any Dark Tower merchandise tainted by the connection to this hack job. Anything to do with Roland will look like idiot Elba (with his dopey Matrix meets western looking outfit) and the cheap look of this will make for shoddy merchandise.
Scrap the film and start again with a much better director and better actors and maybe the idea of some merchandise would be more appealing.

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

Scrap the film

As was the case with your desire to see people involved in the production of this film suffer an accident...not.going.to.happen.

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] Spider198 8 years ago

Find a new whine, you are painfully predictable.
Thinly veiled racism accusations at anyone who criticises, painfully unfunny little digs when they don't give in to your poorly constructed arguments. Harping on the same old things and the classic pretending that you are above such things as a fictional character's race (when we both know that is a load of cr*p).

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

Find a new whine

It's a pretty damning one, so I feel comfortable sticking with it .

Still not going to address it? Didn't think so. That feeling just doubled in intensity.

that you are above such things as a fictional character's race

Don't believe in "race" unless we're talking Tolkien or Burroughs. Ethnic heritage, though...yes.

This subject being comparable to hoping someone else suffers career ruination or bodily harm because of fictional entertainment? Only in your twisted mind.

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] Spider198 8 years ago

Distraction again. You seem to believe in race when it comes to black or Asian characters? Suddenly you don't when it's white characters, who in your blank little mind are just blank slates apparently. More than a little racist there hypocrite.
But please whine more about the same thing and pretend you aren't.

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

Looks like "Distraction" will have to be added to the list of Spider responses . Here's a novel idea: why don't you actually address it directly? It might go a long way towards making you less of a despicable fanboy who thinks that the well-being of film industry employees should be messed with if fictional entertainment does not turn out as one desires.

race

Again, and for the last time, I do not believe in the concept of "race". It was a term cooked up in a time of flimsy pseudo-science (phrenology and eugenics) which was almost tailor-made for provincial personalities that had very real incentives to divide people up, in order to provide them with a veneer of faux-scientific legitimacy to justify their actions.

Ethnic heritage/background, on the other hand, is obviously very much real. Ditto for skewed minority representation and opportunity in Hollywood.

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] Spider198 8 years ago

It's mentioned a lot in relation to you because it's all you do, someone mentions something you can't reply to you change the subject. Like you're now with this idiotic list cr*p.
You are a pathetic waste of time Wesker.

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

Coming from someone that takes his fictional entertainment way too seriously, I will consider that a compliment.

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] Spider198 8 years ago

It's not a compliment. So you shouldn't.

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[–] sugrnspyce4 8 years ago

I don't want any Dark Tower merchandise tainted by the connection to this hack job. Anything to do with Roland will look like idiot Elba (with his dopey Matrix meets western looking outfit) and the cheap look of this will make for shoddy merchandise.
Scrap the film and start again with a much better director and better actors and maybe the idea of some merchandise would be more appealing.

LOL - well, no one would be forcing you to buy a Roland figurine, but I'd think there would be other items that will appear very similar to the way they were described/depicted in the books, e.g., the rose, the lobstrosities, etc. Being the stickler for the source material you are, I'd think you would at least be able to appreciate those kind of items, should the marketing people decide to commission them.

But basically, you're saying that your loathing for this production runs so deeply, you're willing to miss out on any and all potential Dark Tower-related merchandise...simply because you can't get over a casting decision you don't like. Sad.

Oh well - more merch for the rest of us! 

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[–] Spider198 8 years ago

Merch for the film would be influenced by the film, we wouldn't get anything of Roland how he should be. Just the politically correct cr*p version of the film.

I'm against merchandise that would try and push this piece of sh*t film and it's wrongly cast Roland. This film is actively going to destroy any chance of getting the Dark Tower series made into a film series properly when it tanks.
And if by some miracle some studio took a chance on that in future thanks to hack Arcel there would be a small group of morons expecting them to make Roland black and crying racist when he was white.

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

Merch-http://tinyurl.com/gl65v6m

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] tylerrepotter 8 years ago

I want the walkin Dude's jean jacket patches.

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

How about a life-size statue of Mr. o'Dim?

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] Sawyer_Lost 8 years ago

I could see a small pink monorail in my nerdy little showcase...

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

Which classic phrase of his would he utter upon pushing the button disguised as one of the smaller window panes?

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] Sawyer_Lost 8 years ago

TOUGH TITTY, SAID THE KITTY comes to mind :)

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan

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[–] Sawyer_Lost 8 years ago

TOUGH TITTY, SAID THE KITTY comes to mind :)

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence - Carl Sagan

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[–] StormBringer328 8 years ago

Anyone here a fan of tabletop war & skirmish games? I'd absolutely love a Dark Tower themed skirmish game. Perhaps set it in Rolands backstory of W&G? Maybe 6 to 10 miniatures per side, a handful of factions, lots of strange creatures and in-game weirdness.

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[–] Captain_Wesker 8 years ago

Everyone would want to pick the Gunslinger units. I imagine these elite fighters will be saddled with a high upkeep, though.

http://orig08.deviantart.net/b3ac/f/2012/347/b/6/steampunk_adventurer_gunslinger_by_stygianheart-d5nx4ik.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/13/da/3d/13da3d62341f329f1cda89a359b9ffee.jpg

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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing .

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[–] brett_md 8 years ago

The Dark Tower, The Flame Thrower!

Seriously though, I would love a Key. The one Eddie carves, or the one Jake finds in the lot.

The Rose would be awesome.

The Orange Bend of the Rainbow.

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