Mila Kunis was the worst part of this

"Mila Kunis can't act to save her life unless she's basically playing herself."

There's nothing wrong with her acting. Despite "bad acting" accusations in general being common as dirt, bad acting is very rare in big budget Hollywood movies. You usually only see it with cameos from non-actor celebrities playing themselves, such as Lance Armstrong's appearance in Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004).

If you want to see real examples of bad acting, watch a high school play, or a TV commercial for a local business such as a furniture store or a used car dealership, or the type of cameos in Hollywood movies that I mentioned above.

"- since when do fantasy princesses who grew up in another realm behave exactly like modern, Southern Californian fangirls when they go goo-goo-eyed over a handsome stranger?"

What did she say or do that was indicative of being from Southern California? If anything she acted very naive, like someone from the middle of nowhere who had lived a very sheltered life, rather than someone from, e.g., Los Angeles.

"- Was Theodora really that stupid as to not notice red flags from Eudora's behavior over the years? Surely she could tell something was up with her older sister both before and after their dad died."

What red flags? They didn't even show "Eudora's behavior over the years." In real life there are countless examples of people convicted of heinous crimes to which their family and friends were oblivious until they were caught.

"- why on earth does a fantasy princess have a different accent than the two sisters she grew up with? It makes no sense whatsoever."

My parents and my older sister all have (or had, in the case of my late father) a prominent Maine accent, while my older brother, younger sister, and I have no Maine accent at all (we have a neutral American accent, like countless other native Mainers have). Also, "two sisters"? She only has one sister that we know about. If you're thinking that Glinda is also her sister, she isn't.

"- could Theodora really have been so stupid as to not notice how selfish and uncaring Oscar was towards the less-fortunate? I mean, he neglected the little monkey right in front of her!"

He literally saved the flying monkey's life, even though the monkey was yelling to the lion, "Eat him first!" while pointing at Oscar. How is that neglect? It was the monkey's own idea to become his servant afterwards.

"- using a green apple to transform Theodora into the wicked witch was not only cliche for Disney, it was DISGUSTINGLY cliche--you guys lazily took that poisoned apple right from Snow White!"

It was magic, not anything intrinsic to the apple itself, that transformed her. I doubt there's any such thing as a non-cliche method of initiating magic in a movie. What should she have done in your estimation? Waved a magic wand? Made hand motions? Snapped her fingers? Said some "magic words"? Those things are all cliches too. She could have wiggled her nose, but someone beat her to that one too (Bewitched).

NO...MILA WAS FINE...THE MOVIE IS A BIT MEH...BUT MILA WAS JUST FINE.