Runnin' Down A Dream by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers makes great ridin' music.
(Some of you may feel an urge to say, "Nothing," which would be terribly clever, I must say )
Cheese fries...next time.
umart employees are required to pick up trash in the parking lot when they arrive for work.
I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.
People can be very sensitive about their cheesecake.
Cheese fries...next time.
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Sometimes people spoof old movies in which gangs snap their fingers in unison
Cheese fries...next time.
if someone asks you what year something happened, it's normal to bark at them '19-kiss-my-ass!'
I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.
Larry likes chicks who rearrange his junk.
Cheese fries...next time.
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attendance at an english/composition class at a community college is optional.
I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.
College professors try to scare away their students.
Cheese fries...next time.
smu alumni like showing off their class ring.
I'm with the Mattress Police. There are no tags on these mattresses.
(I had a lower management position there once, but no ring to show off )
Frank's Coffee Shop has killer pie.
Cheese fries...next time.
Nothing.
share[deleted]
Well, I'm not voting for the guy on the yacht either. We're so screwed.
shareWe're not screwed! Everything will be okay just like in the movies (hopefully not like the movie "2012")
When you're with a woman, you're in your underwear and her boyfriend shows up, it may be best to put your pants back on.
Cheese fries...next time.
Dean Tainot likes big knockers and Julia Roberts doesn't have any!
sharemargaritas should be made in a blender.
sake happens
The ships of finance sail upon roiling seas
Cheese fries...next time.
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Chinese food tells you the future!
Cheese fries...next time.
Steve is learning to care.
No water! No liquids! I'm terribly allergic to them!
If you're insensitive about someone losing their job, you may be delivering pizza to them someday
Cheese fries...next time.
Contrary to popular opinion, men who spent twenty years in the military get absolutely no pension from their years of service.
sharecommunity college scooter gangs & outlaw harley gangs are in cahoots with each other.
His name...was Julio Iglesias!
Polo shirts are now forbidden.
Cheese fries...next time.
feng shui helps the air movement in your house.
His name...was Julio Iglesias!
2, 2, 2, and 2 is a conveniently memorable security alarm code to have for when you're drunk
Cheese fries...next time.
eating a slice of pizza when you're firing someone is a classy thing to do.
His name...was Julio Iglesias!
Make sure your tattoo of inspirational "Japanese characters" aren't really Chinese characters that translate to a food condiment.
shareyou won't be able to see the equator when you sail past it on ship.
His name...was Julio Iglesias!
Tom Hanks is loveably adorable in another film. His characters are always so touching to me.
Why ain't you at the garden party you heathen?
He does get great parts to play. Last I counted, eight of his films were in the top 250.
"Tainot" is not pronounced "snotface."
Cheese fries...next time.
tai chi is not just a cool iced tea beverage.
His name...was Julio Iglesias!
Being fired is like being named Employee of the Month, in a way.
Cheese fries...next time.
one man's pizza delivery man is another's comeuppance.
His name...was Julio Iglesias!
Dell Gordo can see through clear glass
Cheese fries...next time.
at some clothing stores if you take off your pants? your new pair: gratis.
Life's like a Cabo Carne Asada: never know how spicy it's gunna get.
a great french toast recipe!
🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴
it may look like a bus stop shelter: it's actually a scooter stop.
Season's Greetings
People run into people they know at scooter stops
Mele Kalikimaka
you may roam around the city with your scooter gang but will be really surprised by the newest member knowing of a place to eat at in that city.
Season's Greetings
If you're anywhere near 8642 Derby Court and you "go yard" on Lamar, he will have to take you down.
Mele Kalikimaka
if you don't get your course catalog directly from the community college it isn't free.
Season's Greetings
You're never too old to learn that lesson!
Pointing out that the coffee is "complimentary" every chance you get will make everyone's troubles evaporate.
Mele Kalikimaka
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A Mercedes isn't famous for having big tits.
sharesome feng shui & a haircut can change your life.
Season's Greetings
Making a student speak first for "Pop Topics" helps you take your frustrations out on them. It's annoying though when the student excels at it and makes the class interested in the pop topic.
Mele Kalikimaka
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Dave Mack's "five dance steps every man should know" will make any man the life of the party
if you drive in a moped gang in so cal. you won't encounter any traffic.
Season's Greetings
No matter how many times you drown your sorrows in margaritas, you may never learn to take precautions against brain freeze
she also showed it is possible for cointreau liquor to give you a headache & the chills--probably the first person in the world to accomplish that!
Hey, sprechen sie talk?
tucking in a polo shirt makes you look like johnny law
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
"Pointing out that the coffee is "complimentary" every chance you get will make everyone's troubles evaporate."
And most complimentary coffee isn't worth touching.
Mele Kalikimaka back.
*Every single person in California is either metrosexual or a military veteran
*Intro to Economics teaches concepts relating to house foreclosure and other complicated financial strategies
*For someone aspiring to get a college degree, taking 9 credits at a junior college will surely accomplish this in no time
*Despite her state of drunkeness, it's not sexual assault because she's his college lecturer
*Divorce is the sole reason that a man who works at U-Mart would not be able to keep up on a mortgage that approaches one million dollars.
*Wave to a biker gang while riding a scooter and you will not get stomped
*´¨)
¸.•´. •*´¨).•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´no farting allowed
the cool kids text in class.
You stay classy, San Diego.
You have to wear a bucket on your head while riding a scooter because it's the law.
how much you tip your pizza man is a barometer as to how good a person you are.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
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eat vegetables.
Where there's smoke, there's barbecue!
Some scooter enthusiasts don't know who James Dean was
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If you have a cool haircut, remember to bring the sides forward and pat down the back.
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They sure don't!
You can tell how fast a scooter goes by ramming it into yard sale tables.
some teachers stake out donut shops to see what their students are up to outside of the classroom.
Where there's smoke, there's barbecue!
Hey! Bambi was a boy.
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ex-star trek folks know when you have your phone on you.
Where there's smoke, there's barbecue!
Sometimes you get Feng Shui'd whether you like it or not.
bathroom haircuts are the best.
Aloha, Mr. Hand.
Opera music sounds better when you ad-lib the words.
the last person to show up on the first day of class will turn out to be the best student.
Aloha, Mr. Hand.
It's politically correct to call a guy "retarded" when he's being fired...or maybe not since the guy who said it got fired after that.
if you want someone to change their glasses, you must smash the current ones.
Aloha, Mr. Hand.
That is the best way to go about it.
When you're in a scooter gang, be sure to have a gas-guzzling SUV handy for when it rains.
if you ride in a scooter gang; there will be nada traffic in la.
'It's time for the human race to enter the solar system.'-Dan Quayle
When the person who helped lay you off is now working as a pizza delivery guy, show him you are the better person by treating him with respect and letting him keep the change (even if he was a jerk who thought he was entitled).
MM
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when you enter a room it's best to yell 'on deck!' to let people know you've arrived.
Key to winning baseball games? Pitching, fundamentals, and three run homers.-Earl Weaver