100 Things I Learned From 'Texas Chainsaw 3D'...

I can't believe no one's already made this thread on here yet, so I'll start.

1. People age tremendously well in Texas. I mean, given that the original events took place in the 70s, Heather looked incredible for a woman of about 40. Not to mention Leatherface running around and lifting vehicles over at age 60+.

2. Speaking of genetics, I also learned that the ugliest inbred family of mutant mongoloids  can produce offspring that look like Alexandra Daddario. 

3. Continuing our biology lesson, dead bodies that have been left to decay for more than a few days apparently don't produce any noticeable odour.

4. If ever you inherit a new home filled with expensive items, the best person to hand the keys to while you go out shopping with friends is some random hitchhiker you picked up a few hours earlier.

5. Upon exploring (robbing) this home while the owner is away, you discover a secret door leading to a basement. So you go down the stairs and find the room is already lit by a lamp and there is half-eaten food outside a steel ****ing door. What do you think could be inside? Yeah, that's right, it has to be 'treasure'!

6. Despite knowing the house was just robbed by the hitchhiker, you find the keys abandoned in a secret basement. As you wander inside, you see a pool of fresh blood on the floor. Just ignore it and keep going. It's something you see every day in secret locations of empty houses.

7. Women don't know how to run without falling over every few seconds.

8. If you're being chased by a big fat dude carrying a chainsaw, (that you can hear from far away), and you find yourself in a wide open area filled with gravestones, trees, and all kinds of other obstacles, the best means of escape is to climb into a freshly dug grave, effectively trapping yourself inside a coffin.

9. You know that psycho serial killer who murdered your boyfriend (who you didn't know was cheating on you), your friends, countless other innocent people over the last 40 years, and was trying to kill you for half the movie? Yeah, he's just misunderstood. He's actually the good guy.