MovieChat Forums > Cedar Rapids (2011) Discussion > adultery

adultery

posted 14 years ago by netrek
18 replies | jump to latest

The way this film handled the adultery between Tim and Ann was disturbing. Whereas Tim had some guilt Anna did not register even the slightest regret over what she had done. She compartmentalized her life to facilitate it. This is not a woman with an abusive husband or a life of crushing poverty, deep emotional pain or substance abuse. She vaguely alluded to her life not turning out exactly how she pictured it, well hello reality check that is true for most people. Being a moral adult means you accept the consequences of your actions and try to live the right way. She probably has a good husband at home and he is totally deceived. Her betrayal is sickening. The film further lets us know she's done this for quite a while and plans to keep doing it! What a slut.

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[–] g_kenz 14 years ago

Yeah, I thought at first that Joan is a divorcee or at least has bad relationship with her husband, but when she calls him in the morning, they sound okay.
I think it's the only aspect of this movie that I particularly dislike.

[–] netrek 14 years ago

Yeah, usually the husband will be a jerk - cheating on her, abusive, neglectful, etc. But in this case they seemed to have good relationship, and he is totally clueless his "loving" wife is cheating on him. In popular culture men are always portrayed as the dogs who go and cheat on their good wives the innocent victims, but there are plenty of good husbands who are cheated on by their slutty wives. What a shame.

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[–] pappyspride04 14 years ago

unfortunately that is pretty much how they all are. just a sad fact of life.

[–] Clockwork326 13 years ago

Yeah I agree. I hate the whole "what happens in X stays in X" mentality.

[–] tinytyrant 13 years ago

ah, realistic situations portrayed in films.. makes them uncomfortable.

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[–] dini0519 13 years ago

Yep, she was a little beyotch. Ed Helms character, Lippe, deserved better than her, or his former teacher who used him, or the prostitute. But then, he did go along with it...
Dini

[–] gloomyrival 13 years ago

The adultery bit was disturbing, but probably accurate. People do think of themselves before others and reason that what loved ones don't know about won't ever harm them. I found it hard though to rally on the side of Tim since he is such a hypocrite. He calls out the big kahuna for corruption and bad morals, but he is no better, he is messing around with a married woman, committing bribery and doing drugs and yet he considers himself the moral center of the universe. Disturbing in today's society because I think it is also very realistic of the emotional and moral fraud that is being enacted by many Americans today who consider themselves prime examples of Christian values.

[–] netrek 13 years ago

They are luke warm and will be spit out. "Narrow is the way to salvation and few who take it."

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[–] CyberVerm 13 years ago

The whole point was to give an uncomfortable feeling. Movies allways take the easy road and portray the person who cheats as having a horrible husband/wife who beats them or never has sex with them so you understand the character. They tried to make a situation that happens in real life, sometimes people just cheat and they are just not good people and dont care about the feelings of the person they are supposed to love.. yes it sucks but what are you gona do?

I had an experience like that once, I was a good boyfriend and she cheated on me on a girls only trip to cancun... what kind of slut *beep* is that? I figured the only way you end up feeling good about yourself in the end is if you do these things.

A) Cheat back and tell her and watch her cry.
B) bring up the fact that she cheated on you on every one of your fights.
C) tell her she has to be a slut with you as well, whenever you want her to put out, she has to put out.
D) Tell everyone she knows that she cheated on you, so they give her the reputation of being a whore
E) eventualy break up, ruin her life for a while, find a better woman and marry her.

Worked like a charm for me

I'm the guy who makes the "worst movie ever" thread in your favorite movie board

[–] netrek 13 years ago

lol. I'm sick of hearing the assertion, "Women just want a nice guy who treats them right!" Anecdotally I've seen far too many cases of a girl who has a great guy, he doesn't physically/verbally/emotionally abuse her, gives her attention and affection, cares about her feelings, does things she enjoys even if he hates it, puts up with her annoying friends who constantly bring up richer/hotter guys they wish she was with, even pays for her to finish school or carries her while she's out of work looking for another job, and invariably the girl will cheat with the biggest a**hole in the world who is obviously just using her for sex and has no emotional connection at all with her. Then there are all the numerous hot girls who have total jerks for boyfriends/husbands who constantly demean them, are alcoholic/drug addict, are controlling and abusive, don't spend hardly any time with them, don't care about their feelings, etc.

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[–] shadow_boxin 13 years ago

tbh, the first thing that comes into your mind when they even start planning a "girls only trip to cancun" should be that she'll be drinking/clubbing/sleeping around the entire time she's there

[–] Rick-34 13 years ago

If you did all five of those, well...there's really not much to say. Reveling in the many forms your revenge can take is not exactly advanced morality.

[–] Rick-34 13 years ago

"He considers himself to be the moral center of the universe."

I guess you skipped the middle third of the movie, eh?

[–] wrlord2001 13 years ago

"This is not a woman with an abusive husband or a life of crushing poverty, deep emotional pain or substance abuse. "

You mean they presented a well-rounded, three-dimensional character who is not perfect? How dare they!
Stick to Disney.

[–] ShanaLD 13 years ago

There are men and women just like her all over the world. She obviously loved her husband, but saw Cedar Rapids as a place where she could be someone else for a few days. Was it wrong that she cheated on her husband? Most definitely. Was she all around a terrible person? No, she was a decent person that has been doing something terrible. You should listen to this great episode of This American Life (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/393/infidelity). It is about infidelity. There are interviews with a man cheated on (also his ex- and the friend she cheated on him with), the other woman, married people that met because of a result of cheating. They also point out that a significant amount of cheaters are perfectly happy in their marriages. In addition, there was an interview a decade ago in Details about men that cheat, and these were specifically men that were happy with and loved their wives and didn't feel bad about cheating.

Honestly, it was an interesting aspect added to her character. I can imagine a lot of people liked her in the beginning. But then the cheating happened, then you find out she's done it before and it leaves the viewer (at least some) with conflicted feelings about her character especially when she and the others go out of their way to help Helm's character with his own moral guilt. The movie brought up several issues of morality.

You should just remember sometimes good people do bad things.

[–] blueathena623 13 years ago

For the love of . . . Is this 2011 or 1951?

Tim knowingly slept with a married woman. What a slut, right? He had a girl at home, but eagerly jumped into bed with a married woman. I can't believe how slutty he acted. What a huge slut!

Oh, because he showed remorse, he's ok, but since Joan doesn't show remorse, she's a slut?

Why can't she just be a person who commits adultery? Why is everyone calling her a slut over and over?

And why does every movie have to pass judgement on every little thing? Why is it not ok for Joan to just be a person who commits adultery, just like Tim is a person who associates with a prostitute and bribes a person to get an award?

People have flaws! Deal with it!

[–] Rick-34 13 years ago

For a lot of people, everything is all or nothing. If a woman has an affair, she is a slut and worthy of no respect whatsoever...

I thought the Ox-Fox character brought a lot to the movie. The characters that Tim meets are adults with complicated attitudes and ways of dealing with life. I didn't see any part where any of them claimed to be perfect.

[–] mm1-11 13 years ago

The way this film handled the adultery between Tim and Ann was disturbing. Whereas Tim had some guilt Anna did not register even the slightest regret. . . .

Oh my god. It is just a movie, not a freakin' Sunday school lesson. Where they teach you that your highly moral religion was started 3500 years ago by a man that was married to his own sister.