MovieChat Forums > The Real Housewives of New Jersey (2009) Discussion > seriously?

seriously?

posted 8 years ago by dianetodd-1
20 replies | jump to latest

Ok, yes it's sad that Joe is leaving his family and all that for a while but I'm wondering if any of my fellow military wives out there are watching this and feel like I do. I watched my husband deploy into a war zone for over a year at a time three different times leaving me with small children in towns where I knew no one. There was never a "party" We never had an outpouring of sympathetic messages and sure as heck no one ever offered to take out my garbage (and I have 3 brothers) What is this *beep* Is this sentiment real for a man going to prison. Geez, they do have visiting hours. I didn't hear from my husband for weeks at a time. (end rant)

[–] vjpb 8 years ago

I am sure that some people have had parties for deployments and offers to take out garbage and that most people who go to jail do not have parties and offers to take out garbage.

I guess it just depends who you are related to and friends with.

[–] kem7696 8 years ago

Sorry that none of your brothers have bothered to help you while your husband is gone, but I dont see why it should make you mad that Joe offered to help Theresa. I thought it ws nice of him.

[–] dianetodd-1 8 years ago

oh no, I'm not mad, I thought it was nice too. I just was so surprised by all the people crying and sending their regards like he was dying. He's coming back. No one is shooting at him. I just wondered how real all the concern was.
To be honest, I have mostly found people to seem to feel like it was my choice to be a military wife so there is no reason to feel bad when I'm alone or worried. (even though it wasn't a conscious choice since we were not at war when we fell in love and it was highly unlikely he would be gone that much)
But in this case, a crime really is a choice and no one seems to acknowledge that or tell them to suck it up like people always tell me to do. I just thought it was interesting.

[–] kem7696 8 years ago

I dont think its a matter of someone shooting at their husband, i think its the matter of them going to miss him. I've never had anyone in my family or even know anyone to even go to jail, but I would assume that they having a send off like that might be common, especially if they will be gone a few years. The thing is those people dont have camera crews following them around all the time.

I come from a military family so I understand what you're saying about choice but I also think people perceive military wives and family as being stronger, if that makes sense. IMO any family has the right and choice to send their loved one off how they see fit. It was your husband choice to be in the military and Joe choice to do the crime, but your family and his family both have to live with that choice and its hard on both sets of families.

[–] 8 years ago

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[–] JanLou85 8 years ago

oh no, I'm not mad, I thought it was nice too. I just was so surprised by all the people crying and sending their regards like he was dying. He's coming back. No one is shooting at him. I just wondered how real all the concern was.

You may not be mad (although I have my doubts about that), but you definitely didn't think it was nice that Joe had a going away party and that Teresa is getting help from her family while he's gone. You didn't title this thread, "How nice!", but "seriously?"

And why be surprised that Joe got a send off? He didn't kill anyone. What he did was wrong for sure, but he's paying the price. I've got news for you. Joe's family and friends love him every bit as much as your husband's family and friends love him. You don't have to be a brave soldier for people to love you. Nobody's shooting at him? Why the comparison to your husband? Your husband has nothing to do with this.

You seem to resent that people care about Joe and Teresa, even doubting that it's true, "I just wondered how real all the concern was."

To be honest, I have mostly found people to seem to feel like it was my choice to be a military wife so there is no reason to feel bad when I'm alone or worried. (even though it wasn't a conscious choice since we were not at war when we fell in love and it was highly unlikely he would be gone that much)
But in this case, a crime really is a choice and no one seems to acknowledge that or tell them to suck it up like people always tell me to do. I just thought it was interesting.

Everyone in my world acknowledges that a crime is a choice. Otherwise, a person is forced to commit a crime which makes zero sense to me. It was your husband's choice to join the military and your choice to be a military wife. War is always a possibility, and you were both aware of that. Still, you have every right to feel lonely or worried. If people are telling you to suck it up, you need new people in your life. It doesn't sound like you're getting much support in your life.
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Previously known as sammy2005
member since 2005

[–] PrincessFaith 8 years ago

Regardless of how he is going away his family is going to miss him. Thats like telling someone how long they should grieve. You can't get upset because no one extended anything to you while your husband went away. Why didn't you throw him a deployment party? Joe didn't physically harm someone in the crime he committed not saying what he did was right, but he was trying to feed his family. I am sorry you feel the way you feel. I haven't known anyone to go to jail or be deployed close enough to me to throw them a party or offer anything. I wish you and you husband the best.

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[–] mindthinkr 8 years ago

Please thank your husband for his service and your sacrifice. It's a different world for those who are on television and those who give a lot up so that they (Theresa and her lot) have the freedom to do so.

[–] mbee_says 8 years ago

Wow. I never even thought of the parallel of the two. What a good point.
I feel for your situation.
I feel nothing for Teresa and Joe's! Except justice maybe.

[–] Juliegirlj4 8 years ago

Diane, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the service and sacrifice your family has given!!

I was watching The Right Stuff movie recently and the wife of one of the test pilots said she hears her friends talking about how cut throat their husband's jobs are on Wall Street and she wants to tell them when HER husband leaves for work in the morning there is a one in four chance he won't come back alive!!

[–] dianetodd-1 8 years ago

thanks so much!! Yes, my husband is a bomb tech so it's stressful to say the least.

[–] DonutLover 8 years ago

I bet many, many military wives feel the same way you do if they are watching Theresa and family send Joe packing off to prison. Joe and Theresa knew exactly what they were doing, and this is the price they were willing to pay to keep their big mansion and reality show. I see very little sad about it. In fact, it seemed like with Melissa and Joe standing in front all sad, like they were trying to make it look like the "compound" from the Godfather with all this prison business just a hazard of their profession. "Ahh, Joey has to "go away" to do his time, it happens occasionally but this is how we keep our standard of living..." But, they seem to lack any honor or morals that even the Godfather family had! Posers is what it screamed to me.

Thank you for your husband's service, and to your sacrifices while he is gone. He is out defending our country, while folks like Joe and Theresa break the rules for their own benefit. My eyes were dry during that scene, so sue me.

A simple mind is a tidy mind.

[–] jeddahgal 8 years ago

Rant away -- you're absolutely right.

This man and woman are convicted felons and no one should forget it. There are people out there who lead decent lives and never get any praise for doing it. The facts that these two bumbling criminals are C-list reality TV celebrities doesn't mean they deserve any kind of a send off. Whatever happened to being ashamed for committing a crime?

[–] jackiefoxybrown 8 years ago

Well, I notice that Teresa likes to keep people around her who don't talk about the big elephant in the room. Whoever attempts to get her to ad
mit to her wrongdoings, she basically cuts them out of her life. That's why she's such great freinds with her sister in law now; Melissa basically kisses her azz and acts as if Joe is fighting a terminal disease, or going to war as opposed to going to prison. They are paying for their crimes by doing their time but they still brush everything under the rug as if they are being wrongfully accused; that's annoying.

[–] 8 years ago

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[–] jeddahgal 8 years ago

You just managed to define what I dislike about them both: the air that somehow they are being punished unfairly, that they are a couple of brave little soldiers for actually going away to prison as sentenced.

I hope his prison is tougher than hers was. Maybe if he gets his ass kicked a bit he actually will learn something for a change if he goes somewhere where he will be called on his posturing Italian *beep* bullsh-t.

[–] catonryewithmayo 8 years ago

THANK YOU! And I completely agree with your other comment in this thread too. The fact that they are actually benefiting financially, and with public sympathy, as if they were both victims, also drives me crazy. Criminal behavior should not be rewarded.

[–] kellbels 8 years ago

Finally!!! Someone else thinking what I have been for so long!!

Thanks to your hubby and to you for your service! From a fellow military family member! :)