Things AD Learned This Week (12/18) on Homeland Security

Even the homeless are politically correct in Venice, or maybe the city has an ordinance that requires use of the term "Happy holidays" on signs asking for money. Homeless folks might want to appeal to the most people--even those who don't celebrate any religious holidays. It's probably why you don't see many with Happy Hannukah signs.

All small redheads do not have the kickass capacity of SN. That's one reason why she is SN. Being knocked down by a skateboarder--who immediately flees the scene--is the same as trying to apprehend a suspect.

NCIS standards are so low that ING can fail a test 6 times and still be considered for field work. It depends on whether or not Eric "failed" while taking the actual test or practicing, like Kensi.

In addition to her other super powers, SN possesses mind manipulation, at least as far as ING goes. Shame she can't manipulate him off the show. Nell possesses the same "mind manipulation" used by countless football coaches who call a timeout before a field goal to "ice" the kicker.

Good thing SN is not in Venice, she said Merry Christmas. Actually, you can pretty much say anything in Venice, even Merry Christmas.

SN confirmed that APD is her source of inspiration. In coming years SN will likely shrink further in size yet her powers will grow in inverse proportion. That's the reason so many men now sport bald heads, tattoos, and bulging biceps (like the Rock).

When federal budget cuts kick in under Trump, PEBG's nose will be used to replace drug-sniffing canines. Let's hope the Colombians don't use tea to mask the scent. Because only a dog is able to smell peppermint or spearmint which means you can never be sure if you're eating a Junior Mint or just a huge chocolate chip.

The APD knows about Mozart and the opera since she was the one that actually wrote it while disguised as Mozart back in 1787. Odd how people collect facts about really famous people, like Mozart. Kind of like how people know the favorite sandwich of Elvis Presley.

Male viewer ratings in the 18-25 demographic went up this week. Evidently, they think and watch with their pants.

In addition to the other kind of goddess, EBB has the makings of a domestic goddess. This means, of course, that DYM also has the makings of a domestic goddess which is good because he sucks at law enforcement.

TTS overlooked excessive government regulations that replaced child labor, poverty which still exists, and the homicide rate in Baltimore, Chicago, and LA (on his show alone)- which make Jack the Ripper look like a choir boy. Because government shouldn't consider a child's welfare, poverty--as in debtor's prisons-- are rampant in the US today, and the homicide rate has little to do with the number of guns on the streets since most homicides are by strangulation, stabbing, or blunt force trauma.

Verbal appointments to the NCIS team are SOP. No need for any paperwork. Someone named scuttlebutt said that EBB may have her own spinoff soon: Have Gun and Hairdryer, Will Travel. Since Anna has been working with NCIS for several months--and been paid--there must be paperwork somewhere. It is part of a bureaucracy.

In an early Christmas present, this weeks case actually involves an active-duty USN member. Just like Ghost Gun and Home is Where the Heart Is and other episodes involved naval connections

Are we building Sasquatch super soldiers?: Classic Deeks. Classic DYM.

Looks like PEBG and TTS may need couples counseling. AD doesn't understand the difference between buddies and couples which is odd since DYM and NKADG are a couple.

Once verbally added to the team, EBB can make assignment decisions. Someone had to, and DYM couldn't figure out what was going on.

Someone finally busted TTS for wearing the same shirt every episode. His undercover code name should be Trampas. Why trust a clothing saleswoman who doesn't know what "plaid" is?

TTS has a cranial capacity that exceeds the capacity of a dad hat. Like everything else, heads come in all sizes.

Use of government cell phones for online auctions is OK. Since he's already submitted a bid and is receiving alerts, why not?

SN defines a "practically non-existent" online presence as having a house, bills, and bank account online. Actually, not having FB, Instagram, Twitter or any other social media account IS practically non-existent.

Deeks has an inner Clark Griswold. But he's not environmentally conscious: he uses old style lights that get dangerously hot and use a lot of energy.

Since the original show is so popular, all burglars know what NCIS means. Shouting that upon entry is better than saying Federal Agent! USN personnel know what it means, and since they were entering the home of a USN officer they may not have cared if a burglar knew.

Best line of the show: SN to ING: Stop. Funny, but no good without the preceding lines

No idea what happened in the next couple of minutes, as extended ING irrelevant scenes are why fast forward buttons exist on remotes. Fast forward and mute buttons also exist for DYM scenes.

If things don't work out with Kensi, the newspaper chick would be great with Deeks- same sense of humor. Her humor is much too sophisticated for DYM. She's Stephen Colbert; DYM's Daniel Tosh. And her delivery is much better.

Even though she was probably born 10 years later and in a different country, EBB is well versed in US 1970's musical acts. Because American culture is unknown in other countries. That's why no one born after 1987 outside of the US knows anything about the original Star Wars movies.

Unless some pop star is doling out money to a Taiwanese hooker: The editor chick has a good grasp on American short-attention spans. Agree

Let's hope ING is never cast as "Q" in a James Bond flock. No doubt that should be "flick," but maybe not.

In addition to her other super powers, SN is a walking database of dangers found in the home. Maybe that's the reason she doesn't have a Christmas tree.

Having a "speed bump" in your background may delay you working for the ATF, but it's not a problem for verbal appointments to the NCIS. Especially when the "speed bump" is known personally to everyone who operates out of the field office and has helped NCIS on several occasions.

While EBB is great with food prep, her knowledge of US case law is lacking. An agent of law enforcement is held to the same standards for the 4th Amendment as law enforcement. It would be up to someone to prove that she was working for NCIS. After all, she doesn't have a badge or NCIS ID.

Easy on my door: The Challenger finally gets some respect on this show. Sam was missing Callen.

PEBG and the rest are highly trained investigators well deserving of their inflated salaries: The boyfriend was traveling with the cartel. The gun thug that grabbed the sailor was with the cartel. It took them like half the show to figure out they snatched her to get to him. Of course, it's always better if law enforcement uses racial profiling rather than actual evidence to determine if someone is a criminal. He's Latino; he must be a member of the cartel.

EBB is a knockout in more ways than one. I bet she could take out AD in more ways than one.

The other gun thug never saw the film with the line "If you're going to shoot, shoot. Don't talk." Because committing murder always leads to a lesser punishment than attempted murder.

Even though California has restrictive gun laws, in LA chicks routinely enter the apartment of someone they're looking for while carrying a gun. Even in CA law enforcement officers--including women--carry handguns.

When performing interrogations where one subject is clearly less competent that the other, never split up the subjects. But they were so funny together!

SN and ING being operational together? Bad idea. Unless they're in OPS.

When in the backseat trying to escape from a sedan and not wearing handcuffs, try to break out he windows. Don't try to overpower the small girl and 98 pound weakling in the front seat. True, but they weren't hardened criminals (especially Raul). lol

California gasoline is so environmentally friendly the fumes will not explode even when a road flare is inches away from them. Fire: bad! Gasoline vapor is heavier than air, so there is less chance of it igniting from a source held above it.

When you are in the back seat of a sedan and two people just got out through the front doors, don't climb over the seat to escape out the front doors. Instead, pound on the glass. This was funny but totally silly. Something DYM would do.

EBB is also verbally approved for work with the US Marshal's service- they let her keep the body armor. Has she left the special task force?

EBB does not have much of a social life. Fans of Home Alone (1990) and Judge Judy (1996) may have a shot with her. Doubt it. People aren't always eager to spend time with complete strangers over the holidays. But Anna could go to DYM's favorite spots--strip clubs and homeless shelters--and find "friends."

Kensi vs EBB catfight: Male 18-25 demographics just went off the chart. Alas, just like on Dallas (1978) and Newhart (1982), it was all in her mind. Yea, men thinking with their pants always expect professional women to act like MMA and or porn stars.