Secondhand embarrassment to the Nth Degree
Secondhand embarrassment to the Nth Degree
Paramount Pictures brings you the sequel to a movie you never wanted. The only people who will probably LOVE this movie are hardcore Vin Diesel fans, who feel he can do no wrong, and probably 14 year old boys who still enjoy dumb action movies.
However, I will say that if you are able to suspend your disbelief, as I was after the first hour, you may end up sort of enjoying this movie for all its over-the-top action and lame acting. Especially if you like Donnie Yen - he was easily the best part of the entire movie. He was so good that I will actually look for his other movies to watch more of him.
This movie is terrible. Who wants to see a try-hard 50 year-old man acting like an extreme sports nut, trying to "get down with the kids", with his obvious stunt-double and lame CGI stunts, with his jean shorts, and lame tattoos? Nobody, that's who! It's Secondhand embarrassment to the Nth degree. Don't even get me started on that ridiculous fur coat. Absolutely nobody would be able to pull this off without looking like a complete try-hard and fake. You're 50 years old for heavens sake - please act with some class... it's too lameness per minute for us to watch.
You wanna know who is a badass? Somebody who doesn't need to try hard - they just have 'it'. Do you know who isn't a badass in this movie? Vin Diesel/ Xander Cage. With every cheesy line he delivers with a smirk, you can just tell it was carefully crafted to just make the audience think "wow, he's so cool". The only problem is that it has the complete opposite effect. It's like seeing your embarrassing old uncle, who still thinks he's as cool as he was two decades ago, and a hit with the younger crowd. He's not, and neither is Vin Diesel - we just tolerate it because it's too embarrassing for us to say anything - well I'm saying it. It's so cringe-worthy and hard to watch. Stop it Vin Diesel, you were meant to be better than this! How could you regress so much in your acting that you look like you just started last year?
You can tell that Vin Diesel (as the producer) and the studio were planning on making this into a mega blockbuster, with a big ensemble cast, much like Vin's other franchise (Fast & Furious) - they were probably hoping to make hundreds of millions of dollars in the process, spawning spin-offs and nine more sequels that nobody asked for or wants to watch.