A Spoof or a Parody: I've seen more serious acting in Scary Movie. AWFUL

Yes. I am an old Ghostbusters 1 and 2 fan. That being said, I didn't have high expectations for this movie from the moment that Ghostbusters 3 was first mentioned, even many years ago. Then less expectations when Hollywood obviously decided to make it into a brainless in-and-out-thanks-for-your-12-dollars experience capitalizing on all the stereotypes of modern day society.

That being said, I still watched the movie hoping it to stand up as an actual movie. It turned into one of the WORST and most INTOLERABLE large budget movies I've ever watched. Where to even start?

How about starting with the entire atmosphere of the movie: props, acting, characters, cliches, plot, etc. This movie had some of the biggest lineup of joke-characters I have ever seen. Was there ONE character in the movie that could be taken seriously as a real life person? NO. Every single character --every single one!-- was some massive hyperbolic stereotype. The Ghostbusters, Hemsworth, The Mayor, The Mayor's assistance, the Homeland Security idiots, the enemy, the dean(s) of the university(ies), the needless cameos, the ghost themselves (Slimer, Macy's Day Parade Ghosts, tophat ghosts, pilgrim ghosts, what the 9 hells is going on ghosts)... everyone! There wasn't one ounce of seriousness in the entire film.

Seriously. The movie plays out more like a spoof or a parody than it does an actual movie trying to achieve legitimacy and some semblance of a plot. I was sitting there the entire movie yelling, "SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT AND TALK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING! STOP YELLING AND ACTING LIKE IDIOTS!" I know they are trying to market to the idiot generation of today, but even kids today have to be serious people 70% of the time. I honestly do not know how anyone could find this movie entertaining, or even tolerable.

I'm just going down a list off memory here of how ridiculous this was:

- Gizmo Girl: Grow up. Everyone was heralding this girl as the highlight of the film. Why? She's as one-dimensionally stupid as one character can get. It reminded me of a 47 year old trying to play the role of a 21 year old super-geek ripped right out of a Sitcom. A walking stereotype of stupidity.
- Main Girl: She was probably the most tolerable. I'll leave it at that.
- Fat Girl: There were times in this movie I wanted to punch this pig in the face. Not only does Melissa McCarthy come off as unlikable and aggravating, but she's like a roller coaster of yells, screams, shrills, and about 1000 other obnoxious sounds rolled into a character. Fart jokes? Ball-hit jokes? Really? I mean it was almost as if she said, "I'm going to be the most detestable character possible but people will like me. Just watch!"
- Black Girl: Look. You have black America going on about white-washing and how blacks don't get a fair shake. Take a look at this character. Here you have a black woman ACCEPT the role of stereotypical black woman: loud, ghetto-slang, "I know the streets of New York, yo!" the jewelry, the attitude. Stop accepting roles like this that stereotype your race and maybe people wouldn't white-wash. They white-wash characters because the character they want to create doesn't look or talk ANYTHING like that--has nothing to do with black or white, has to do with how you carry yourself.

Scenes:
- The scene where Gizmo Girl dances: What in the hell was that about? Was that funny? Do people laugh? Does anyone even remember? Why even add that non-sense?
- The Firehouse Scene: They are acting like a bunch of 10 year old school girls. YIPPIE! FIREHOUSE! WEEE! WAGGHHHH! It was such a bad rendition of the original. Harold Ramis is rolling over in his grave. "This movie should be condemned!" -- all that man is saying from 6 feet under.
- Middle Finger Dean: Again. What in the hell was that about? Another example of a character who so over the top ridiculous it just crushes any legitimacy your movie has. And for what? Adam Sandler circa 1995 level humor?
Proton Pack Scene: Flying around like a balloon. Really? Are we 8 years old? This looks more like a Disney movie from 1994 than a live-action 200 million budget film. Could you see the original Ghostbusters flying around on their proton packs like a bunch of fools? HELL NO. And that's why you remember that movie 20+ years later. That's also why you won't remember this movie 20 minutes later.
- Music: WHAT MUSIC? This movie had one of the worst musical scores of all time, which is absurd considering the originals had a fantastic musical score. You have to understand that good music can make a bad movie sub-par. For this, it's almost like they forgot the music until the last minute and were scrambling to find some last minute nonsense to patch the holes. Or just used placeholder music and forgot to flip it out in the final editing rooms.
- Rag Tag: The entire movie the Ghostbusters came off as a bunch of cosplayers pretending to make a movie in their own back yard. There was no professionalism to their organization, their operation, their gear, how they conducted business, how they carried themselves. Nothing. I'll use the word again and again until I die: A JOKE.
- Heavy Metal Scene: Could anyone not shake their heads at how ludicrous that entire scene was? From the Gremlin-looking-dragon ghost, to the concert, to the (another) stereotypical non-realistic host/owner or whatever that guy was supposed to be (who for some reasons screamed like a girl to get another cheap one or two laughs from 13 year old girls in the audience). I was trying to figure out what was going on ... then I realized I didn't care.
- I LOOKED AT THE TRAP RAY: This one just irked me, and I'm nitpicking, but when they threw their trap down for the first time and Gizmo Girl was poorly trying to imitate Ray's role during Slimer-Capture in the hotel... "Doin' Great!" "Doin' Great!" "Black Girl, you're not doing good!" I'm like ... so this is the comparison scene to the hotel scene? The hotel scene is immortalized. This scene is something you want to purge from your brain.
Andy Garcia: This guy. His whole entourage. What was even the point? And again, just an entire group of spoofers. Unrealistic characters.
Enemy: I'd like someone to explain to me what this guy was even supposed to be? Some random guy who creates ghost-summoning devices that blow-up leylines? That is your enemy? We have Gozer the Gozerian, Vigo the Carpathian ... and then this failed character from Big Bang Theory? Then he takes over Hemsworth? Turns into an animated ghost? Later, into a big ghost that destroys a building yet doesn't destroy a building, all while summoning a massive vortexed cacophony of chaos, crap, and noise flying in 1,000,000 different directions over the outstretched hands of a Michael Jackson THRILLER musical video of dancing dumbsh!ts ... ? That WAS in the script. That IS what was handed to Columbia Pictures. That IS what was approved. That WAS worth hundreds of millions of dollars. That awful piece of writing and storytelling.
Hemsworth: Was this guy an insult to retards or something? I didn't get it AT ALL. I'm 33. I must be too old for this sh!t.

Look, I could go on and on. At the end of the day let me just say this and close out my rant, so that I can get this slopjob farce out of my mind and never look back.

Looking at the original, Ghostbusters 1 was technically a comedy, but never did it try and be funny. Like many successful movies in the 80's that hold up today, comedy was WOVEN into the the movie subtly through believable and talented writing and acting. It was a movie that took itself seriously, had fantastic characters, depth, story, background, and a lot of charm. It worked for all the right reasons. This movie is not even a reboot. It's a straight up SPOOF. A PARAODY. I seriously said to myself watching this film, "I've seen better acting in the Scary Movie franchise, Robin Hood Men in Tights..." and I could name many other spoofs this movie does a lesser job of doing in the departments of acting, story telling, legitimacy, and seriousness.

I feel bad for the actors and cast that signed on to this. It's not their fault this is the direction the movie went. But they were in it, and they made money on it, so they can take some random internet insults and so can the crybabies who support this movie. But to you supporters, let me ask you this: would you rather have trash-movies like this continue to be made? Or would you prefer quality movies? Or at least movies that TRY to be quality, even if they don't quite make it? Ghostbusters 1 or this? There's a reason Ghostbusters is so beloved. There's a reason no one will remember this except as a bad taste in their mouth. Stop paying money in the theater to see this crap. Stop buying the movies. Wait until they are released 4 months later and just rip it. Stop feeding these companies money to keep shoving this crap down your throat. Trust me. This could be one million times better if you all stopped letting them do this.

If they really wanted to do Ghostbusters 3, here's your simple story:

- Ghostbusters wanted to franchise (they talked about it in the first movie as an idea). The original gang got old, as old people do. Business is down because no of ghostly threat, so they moved on with their lives. A group of young people (2 guys, 2 girls, or mix them however you want with whatever races you want to appease the over-sensitive masses) believe in what the GBusters did, they have their own tech and theories, they approach the original gang to license the "Ghostbusters" franchise, or buy it straight out ... or something. They get those rights and go into business for themselves. The old guys may (or may not) help, depending on how much you want them in the movie, but it's an official hand-off and blessing. Maybe even have Ray help them out during their first in the field. Boom, you have your backdrop and run with it from there...

Too bad it wasn't made a few years ago, because I would have cast Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Sarah Silverman ... and someone with a more serious demeanor to level them out, maybe even Gillian Anderson for the hell of it. But some actors that at least could be serious for 4 minutes and give you quality material while professionally throwing in the comedy that America seems to need every 2 seconds these days.

But what the *beep* do I know?

-- a nameless internet poster