MovieChat Forums > We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011) Discussion > Surprised I ended up sympathizing with K...

Surprised I ended up sympathizing with Kevin

posted 9 years ago by VivienCastro
21 replies | jump to latest

I don't like kids in general, and I knew before watching that this movie was about a sociopath kid and a mom who sees him for what he is while his dad can't. I figured I'd feel for her and hate the kid.

But *beep*, I don't think he was a sociopath at all. He was always aware of her feelings for him, he made it known, and she only hated him more. She could have fixed it when he was young and she was getting frustrated, she is allegedly intelligent, she should have just get in touch with psychiatrist to help her get through it and to help her get through to him. Being rejected and disliked by your mother since you can remember is horrible. Invitation for a dinner when you're 16 won't fix that damage.

I thought he would be torturing animals and children as other young psychos normally do on tv, but he was just difficult and spiteful and pretty obvious about why he is that way. The saddest thing was that, like he says in the end, he never looked happy. He just looked and acted like a sad hurt little kid, not like some monster with no empathy. In fact I believe he had empathy because he was incredibly in tune with his mother's emotions. She had an incredible hold of him emotionally.

The similarities between them are also just really interesting to observe in the movie.

I understand that (maybe the book elaborated on this more) she never wanted him in the first place, but that is her failing to get the abortion. It's ok to not be a parent.

Anyway, she is a great actress, but her character was just messed up.

[–] Chara_Angel 9 years ago

Same. I sympathized very much for Kevin in the end for the reasons you stated.

I also symapthized with Eva. I think she must have suffered some kind of post partum depression or something when Kevin was born. She just didn't know how to deal with it, and she never got help.

It wasn't until she lost everything, that she realized her feelings for Kevin. And I think that is what Kevin really wanted/needed all along.

The dad also knew there was something wrong between them, but all those years never knew when or how to intervene.

I think it's a pretty big tragedy, because if just one person had reached out or said something, things might have ended very differently for all of them.

Little girls shouldn't look for four leaf clovers!

[–] grimesplaya 9 years ago

It was a very sad situation. I think there's plenty of evidence in the film to make a convincing case for Kevin being born with traits of psychopathy, and that his mom's delusion of the realities of parenthood and her ill-equiped abilities to know how to raise a kid with such a mental condition contributed towards him never gaining empathy. It's just a very sad thing, and you could probably make the case that they were both at fault, or it was just a bad hand dealt by happenstance and both interpretations would be truthful IMO.

[–] PopperTheKungFu-Dragon 9 years ago

I couldn't sympathize with him at all. The guy was a psychopath and it had nothing to do with his mother. She wasn't the greatest mom in the world, but my mom was ten times worse than her and I didn't turn to killing people. Of course there are people with absolutely terrible parents, but that's another story.

Poorly Lived and Poorly Died, Poorly Buried and No One Cried

[–] deborahkerr1992 8 years ago

I finally got around to watching this film yesterday and this is exactly how I felt. She doesn't hold him as an infant. She seems to be detached and aloof with him even as a toddler. If she was ever loving with him, it is not shown on the movie. However, The dad was affectionate to him and clearly adored him. So why did he end up killing him?

[–] karenleung081231 8 years ago

because the dad agreed to his wife's decision of sending kevin to boarding school. kevin stood upstairs and listened to every word while his parents were discussing about it. he felt abandoned by both of his parents and he felt his younger sis stole all of his mother's attentions and that is why he hates his sis.
when his mother told him was ready to be a brother. he said: you just got used to something, it doesn't mean you like it, like you got used to me."
kevin was a kid with high intelligence, he was capable of sensing of his mom got tired of him since he was a baby
you could see his mom was not ready to be a mother at the time he was born, she said :" mommy wish to be in france."(i would not remember the whole sentence" and his husband shook his head at the beginning of the film, she wanted to keep traveling around the world instead of taking care of her baby son.

[–] pisces-37330 8 years ago

I'm going to completely disagree with you. She tried consoling the screaming infant to no avail. She tries playing with him and he refuses. She tries to get get him to say "mommy" and he said "no". He refused to eat her cooking, throwing it against the fridge. He refused to use the toilet as a sign of control over her. He forced her to clean up his bodily functions because of his decision to use the toilet. He has it out for her his entire life. She offers to help him make his room special and he destroys hers. His entire life is him hating her. I also disagree that they were sending him to boarding school. The parents stayed they were going to try to last the rest of the year together and then mentioned custody. I believe they were getting a divorce.

[–] 8 years ago

[deleted]

[–] pisces-37330 8 years ago

I don't sympathize with him at all. He was a troubled child and forced himself into the situation he was in. I think he had a very bizarre obsession with his mother and didn't know how to handle it. What kind of child continues to masturbate after being walked in on? He even gives her a super creepy look while he carries on.
I feel sorry for the mother. She did everything she could from birth to love him and he just threw it all back in her face his entire life.
As for the animal and child torture/murder? He put his sisters hampster in the garbage disposal. Then he poured drain cleaner in her eye afterward.
That his room was aesthetically normal but not personalized said a lot. His room looked completely normal, but it was empty. None of the notebooks contained anything, there wasn't a shred of personality in it. Before he destroyed his mother's room as a child he said personalities are stupid.
The kid definitely showed signs of psychopathy. The mother tried talking to the father about it. Unfortunately for everyone, the father never saw these signs or outbursts and he was never treated. The mother wouldn't do anything to push the father away because he was the love of her life and so the boy grew up troubled.

[–] versace14 8 years ago

There's always going to be babies born psychotic and sociopathic...they'll find the gene one day...just like the gay gene

[–] VivienCastro 8 years ago

I agree, I just don't believe Kevin was one of them. His behavior imo wasn't sociopathic. As a kid he didn't yet torture animals or anything, he was just unhappy, intelligent, and resentful of his mother's obvious lack of affection. Being a difficult kid isn't the same as being a sociopath.

[–] brightwhitehorses 8 years ago

Sexuality isn't related to genes.

[–] recklesscow 8 years ago

You might wanna tell that to my university or our textbooks. They haven't found "the" gay gene but the textbook and our professor clearly state genes affect aspects of our physical and emotional dispositions, including sexual orientation. I'll trust what my overly expensive college education has to say over the Internet or someone on imdb. Also, finding a gay gene would not be a good thing. Parents would want to test for it during pregnancy and they might choose abortion should they find out.

[–] brightwhitehorses 8 years ago

Well, your University taught something completely different from mine.

"The gay gene" is a statement from ignorance. Study what genes actual ARE, they can't be involved in sexuality,that's not their job. Hormones, it's all about hormones. Hormones determine if you will be male or not. All baby's would be born female if it wasn't for male hormones.

Gender is not a perfect process. If it were there would be no hermaphrodites, but the male hormones are going on inside a female's body and sometimes her body reacts as though the testosterone is an intruder in her body, which it is, and tries to attack/eliminate it as a foreign body. There is a lot going on in the womb.

THAT is was I was taught in Colorado University 2012. I'd be interested in what your textbooks said.

[–] VivienCastro 8 years ago

I thought they said it "takes one to know one" ;)

[–] LetThemEatCake01 8 years ago

How can anyone in their right mind sympathize with kevin?

[–] thomaxz-tc 8 years ago

Because evil is always a result from Enviroment or Parrents or both.

Read Bruce D. Perrys book, "The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog: What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love and Healing"

Where he has reaserched, how a pyschotic child become murder.

[–] LetThemEatCake01 8 years ago

She created a good environment for him.

[–] ebeall-87107 8 years ago

I agree. People are delusional if they think the mom caused Kevin's issues. Even if she didn't show him enough love that doesn't justify him killing his sister's guinea pig, blinding his sister in one eye and then going on a murder spree. Also I'm pretty sure not all mass killers torture and kill animals immediately. He did progress to that point near the end though.

I honestly think a lot of people want to blame all their issues on their moms. If a mom is too overbearing and smothering she is criticized for that. You can't really win. Seriously my brother went to a therapist at one point and the results of the therapy were that all of his issues stemmed from our mom... Never mind our other brother is a doctor and the rest of us are also successful. My mom is a good mom by the way. If her main flaw is nagging get over it. I think some people like to say all of their issues came from their upbringing but I mostly just think it's bs. Of course in some cases your upbringing really impacts you but I know too many people who blamed their parents for all of their own troubles. I've known people with much worse parents than the ones in this movie who turned out completely fine. Kevin was clearly a psychopath from the beginning.