MovieChat Forums > Sons of Anarchy (2008) Discussion > Tara calling Abel her son

Tara calling Abel her son

posted 8 years ago by jaylee-03031
18 replies | jump to latest

Did it annoy anyone else that Tara kept calling Abel her son. She would say it repeatedly, she even told Jax that she was the mother of his sons and he never corrected her, and she told Wendy to her face that she, Tara, was Abel's mom. She was not Abel's mom period. Stepmom yeah but she was not his mom and he was not her son. Abel has a mom and yeah Wendy was a drug addict but the episodes I have seen so far, she has gotten herself cleaned up, and is working at a good job. I have not seen the entire show yet so maybe things have changed with Wendy in future episodes.

It just drove me crazy every time she would call herself Abel's mom or call Abel her son.

[–] julia-solovjova 8 years ago

adoptive parents/ step parents most often refer to the children as "theirs". Clay always referred to Jax as "son", only in season5 Jax explicitly told him to stop calling him that.

[–] pfarnell 8 years ago

I can see that kind of issue both ways.

Yes, sometimes her apparent real possessiveness of Abel can be disconcerting..

OTOH, given the circumstances Wendy etc, isn't it actually a desirable thing that she see and treat and maybe even begin believing herself, that both of the boys are equally hers?

She is embracing being an equal mom to both.Both are Jax's...

Perhaps ironical that instead of her winding up with her's plus Wendy's...Wendy winds up with both her's and Tara's..

[–] julia-solovjova 8 years ago

According to the plan, Wendy wasn't going to be in the picture, and Tara was raising him. Even when Wendy resurfaced, she wasn't exactly going to claim motherhood. So telling a 3yo that Tara wasn't mom would be too confusing

[–] mgreen9715 8 years ago

Tara was the one that fed, clothed and bathed him. Therefore her calling him her sone is justified.

You must be from an older generation because this is the norm for a lot of people now.

[–] KingCobra686 8 years ago

She considered Abel her adopted son I think, even if it was never formalized officially.

[–] jaylee-03031 8 years ago

She was not his mother though. She may have clothed and fed him but she did not give birth to him and she did not adopt him. To tell Wendy right to her face, that she Tara, is Abel's mom, was inappropriate, and she's lucky she didn't get punched or slapped for that. Wendy showed a lot of restraint in that scene.

If you adopt a child, that would be a different ball game and would entitle you to call yourself the child's mom but Tara did not adopt Abel and Wendy wants to be a part of her son's life. All they had to do was tell Abel that his mom was sick and she went away to get better and then when Wendy comes back, they could tell him that his mom is all better.

Wendy had every right to fight for her son and want to be part of his life. Tara does not have any say or rights when it comes to Abel. She is not his mother.

If I remember, the only reason Wendy has stayed away from Abel is to get her life together and get clean, and also because Gemma threatened her and nearly got her killed with that drug od in the hospital.

Abel is Jax and Wendy's son, not Tara's. It is also extremely hypocritical for them to try to keep Wendy away from her son. She is clean, has a college degree, and is working in a respectable career. Jax is a killer, gun runner, and violent. Tara is a doctor yes but she lives with Jax and as a result has been kidnapped twice so far and is in danger because of Jax's violent life style. Abel would safest with Wendy out of all of them.

I have tried to like Tara but she just annoys me so much. I wish she would have had a much smaller role on the show.

[–] julia-solovjova 8 years ago

Tara was his legal guardian. Not mentioned if she went through legal adoption though. She raised him for... 3 or 4 years of his life. Wendy wasn't around. So... what was the point keep telling this is NOT mommy to a toddler? Very awkward and confusing.
Of course, when Wendy resurfaced, they treated her horribly. But in Tara's case -- she couldn't have possibly known what to expect from Wendy.

Ps. I did not like Tara either

[–] pfarnell 8 years ago

Tara was his legal guardian.

she MUST be...or else, she could never even contemplate absconding and running with Abel AND her own kid! She would be a straight-up kidnapper and felon, if she took off with Abel with no legal status at all!
Somebody must be his legal guardian/s...if Tara is not on that official list, she'd be crazy to just take him.

[–] sookiestackhouse 8 years ago

I hated the tug-of-war between Tara, Wendy, and Gemma over those babies. I hated that story line so much.

It was maddening because Sutter left the rules and details of custody/parental rights vague. In a deleted scene, Jax reveals that Wendy gave Tara custody, but doesn't specify whether or not Wendy gave up her parental rights. The show never specified how much or how little contact Wendy had with Abel between season 1 and season 4. Was Wendy completely out of the picture for two years, or was it more like four, since the writers let the timeline get wonky and Abel rapidly aged to a 5 year old, while Thomas remained a baby? The show also never examined how and why Jax, Tara, and Gemma decided to coach Abel to call Tara "Mommy," which was such a huge and weird thing to do if Tara hadn't formally adopted him. And again, we don't know for sure if she formally adopted him, because the show never told us.

The writers asked us to become emotionally invested in this custody drama, without giving us most of the important details. Family drama is all about the details and Wendy giving up custody of Abel to Tara was cut from the show.

How long Wendy was gone matters. How much contact she had with Jax, Tara, and Abel during that time matters. Parental/custodial rights matter. I needed all of that info to form an opinion about the drama.

Also, it was crazy that Jax was both the biological and custodial parent, but Sutter left him almost completely out of the "real mom" story line for a couple of seasons. Leaving Jax out of the drama, and not bothering to flesh out the specifics of the dispute, made the whole plot feel like half-baked filler. Something basic for the women to do while the men were bad asses. Blech!

I liked and sympathized with all three characters and would have much rather watched Tara, Wendy, and Gemma do almost anything together (like say, bury a body), than fight over who was the rightful mother to Abel and Thomas.

[–] fairymagic 8 years ago

Abel born was to a drug addicted mother who almost killed him when she overdosed while she was still pregnant with him

Tara has loved Jax since they we 15 or 16... They talk about how they were meant to be together... Abel is part of that and Tara accepts him as her own because Wendy wasn't capable of looking after him... Tara loves him as her own and hates what Wendy did to him because the drugs were more important than her unborn child

Yes, Wendy carried and gave birth to him but that's as far as her maternal insticts went

When she sobered up she was a much better person but Tara was protecting the little boy who Wendy almost killed... As far as Tara was concerned she WAS his mother

fairy

Intoxicating



[–] mgreen9715 8 years ago

Abel born was to a drug addicted mother who almost killed him when she overdosed while she was still pregnant with him

Tara has loved Jax since they we 15 or 16... They talk about how they were meant to be together... Abel is part of that and Tara accepts him as her own because Wendy wasn't capable of looking after him... Tara loves him as her own and hates what Wendy did to him because the drugs were more important than her unborn child

Yes, Wendy carried and gave birth to him but that's as far as her maternal insticts went

When she sobered up she was a much better person but Tara was protecting the little boy who Wendy almost killed... As far as Tara was concerned she WAS his mother

fairy

^^^ This is all that needs to be said, really.

Wendy gave up her rights to be a mother when she became a bitch junkie and neglected her child while Tara raised him and took care of him 24/7. Other than popping him out that's far as Wendy's true rights went. Wendy was just as bad about letting Abel stick around in that atmosphere especially in the end when she helped Gemma hide juice and everything else was going down such as Diosa being shot up and Abel getting in trouble at school and harming himself.

Tara does not have any say or rights when it comes to Abel. She is not his mother.

Oh really? Pretty sure that Tara became his legal guardian when the papers were signed and made official. Any court would give her custody.

[–] pfarnell 8 years ago

Wendy showed a lot of restraint in that scene.

Maybe...or Tara contemptuously regards Wendy as a cowardly weak junkie anyway, which is how Wendy lost Abel in the first place.

I agree that it is rank and redundant to say to Wendy 'I am Abel's mother".

[–] Final_Hitokiri 8 years ago

Did it annoy anyone else that Tara kept calling Abel her son.

Depends if she legally adopted him as her son or not. (Probably not, since very little that Jax did was on the up and up). But if she did take legal responsibility for him when Wendy was MIA, well then he would be her son.

Also, I think it was perfect when she was say that to Gemma. You could tell it really burned Gemma to hear those words.

[–] C_Hall22 8 years ago

In what way was Tara not his mother? Tara provided EVERYTHING to Abel that a biological mother would have and then some considering the life her husband lead, to say that she wasn't a mother to Abel because she wasn't his birth mother seems absurd to me. The show was about outlaw bikers, it would have been boring to watch how Tara gained custody of Abel, it was always just implied that she gained full legal custody at some point to me, I didn't need to see it happen.

What drove me crazy was that Gemma thought she was the boys mother not their grandmother, always calling them "my boys" and always butting in on how Jax and Tara wanted to raise their boys.

[–] mgreen9715 8 years ago

I agree with the above poster. I know many people who consider someone else their "mother" and it's the person that took care of them IE: Fed them, clothed them and helped them with school and everything else.

Someone giving birth to you doesn't make them a real parent. It's honestly the person who helps you grow up and provides/takes care of you at a young age when you're unable to.

I hated Gemma and her "my boys" crap. Gemma was way too obsessive and even with Jax she was the same way granted he was her son. Even towards the end Jax got annoyed with her trying to control every aspect of his life. Personally I wouldn't have put up with her *beep* all those years.

[–] vicky_lc2001 (1907) 7 years ago

I guess it's similar to Clay always referring to Jaxx as his son and to Abel as his grandson.

[–] macken74 (662) 6 years ago

Totally agree !

[–] zachattack2 (28) 6 years ago

You agree? Why? The OP is idiotic. It should be a good thing Tara views Abel as her son. Wendy was a junkie who almost killed her "son". Tara helped saved him, and then raised him. Wendy found drugs to be more important than her child.