I’m out (spoilers)
This film really just serves as an unflattering look into Smith’s weed-raped psyche. It’s honestly sad to see this man’s mind decay in front of us.
Just… what was this? It’s like Smith has totally lost touch with the characters and forgotten their prior emotional journeys. His legendary insightful wit and edgy comedy? Nowhere to be seen.
I think he harbours resentment over losing his talent, and his response is to murder his own characters. Becky fucking dies immediately after the events of Clerks II killing Dante’s kid at the same time?? Then, after Randal has a heart attack and survives, Dante fucking dies too..??
I know Smith wants to write from the heart and make something about his near death experience but he really should have made a new project instead of aiming his Death Star at the Clerks boys. Seriously, this is The Grim Reaper, guest starring the Clerks cast.
Clerks is raucous edgy comedy with a dose of drama, this was a fucking massacre. What about all the life lessons Dante and Randall learned along the way? What happened to Clerks reflecting the real lives of working class Americans? Suddenly it’s - Wife? Dead. Kid? Dead. You? Dead.
At the end of Clerks II Randal was all ‘you’re my best friend and I love you’, now he sacks off Dante in the hospital like he’s nothing, only changing his mind when he learns Dante gave up his Quick Stop shares to fund Randal’s movie? Randal only realises that Dante is his true friend because… money?? Smith turned Randal into a complete asshole, to say nothing of the fact that Randal yelling at Dante is what triggers Dante’s heart attack. Randal kills Dante 🤦🏻♂️
Ghost-Becky keeps telling Dante to be grateful for being alive and embrace life… then Smith gives him a fatal heart attack! Smith has made a career out of crying in public, and he wants you to cry too… but for what reason? There’s no meaning to these deaths beyond emotion porn.
He was always inspired by Richard Linklater, whose masterpiece is the Before Trilogy. The first two are great and the third one takes a nasty turn and rapes the characters. Smith was clearly taking notes because he goes one step further and full-on slaughters his babies here.
Are there any laughs among the bloodbath? A few. The odd quip here and there but while Smith is happy to butcher his characters, he’s actually become quite prudish and woke in his older age. Vulgar dick/gay jokes, donkey fucking, and spicy humour like ‘nigger knife’ are conspicuously absent, instead the humour feels tame, goofy, meta. You won’t be quoting Clerks III for years to come, let’s put it that way.
I will say the acting is excellent from the main duo. When the film stops fucking around and lets the characters monologise - which was what Clerks was all about - it has real power, and the exchange between Randal and Schwalbach at the end recaptured the hilarious sparring we’d come to expect from those two. Flickers of genius like those only serve to remind how Smith’s flame is dying.
All these years I blamed Jeff Anderson for stopping Clerks III from existing, his feud with Smith over money for Clerks II prevented it from moving forward. Now I blame him for giving the Clerks III script the ‘OK’.
I’m actually intrigued to read the original script now. Apparently it was too much of a downer and Smith rewrote it into something more positive after his heart attack. How in the hell it could have been more morbid than what we got is beyond my imagination.
Jay & Silent Bob Reboot was a mixed bag, He-Man was a disaster. I really thought Smith would bring things back on track with Clerks III but instead he drove it off a cliff. I never thought I’d say this, I’ve been a Smith fan for decades, but I’m off the Smith-train now. He cannot be trusted to deliver anything but disappointment.