How was this film received among donkeys?

I ask for a remake that keeps all of the film until just after the donkey punch (because that's where it starts to get worse and worse and worse and well then it's finally over if you made it that far). The girl has died. And then what? What would make this film good? The girl turns out to be a zombie and everybody tripping is excited she is still alive until they find out she isn't really still alive after all. Then they try to kill the zombie but as usually happens it manages to kill them and drifts off to international waters so the zombies fall under the laws of Panama. Then they are shipped to Panama where one of them bites a donkey that becomes a zombie too and the donkey kicks back with his legs and crushes the camera: The end.

What can I tell you? What could I possibly say?