I like this new Sansa more than I liked the old Sansa, that's for sure (I'm still not too fond of her, mind).
She's done with being the subservient little girl, always a pawn in someone else's plan.
She wants power and control. From my point of view, she's had two huge female influences, who've had some power in this society, her mother and Cersei. She made it clear that she's taking notes from history, regarding strategy and what-not. So, she's not going to go the route of Catelyn, being the counselor in shadow to Jon, since that wasn't that successful with Robb and Cat. Also, there's nothing stopping Jon from doing whatever he wants, regardless of discussions in private in this scenario.
The bigger influence in her most formative years was Cersei, and we all know how she does things, though Sansa is less murdery at this stage. Couple that with the fact that all the strategists she's observed have been on the cunning, power hungry, shady side, and you can see where some of her behaviour comes from.
But a point needs to be made that neither her, nor Jon really know what they're doing. Why should Jon's word outweigh her's? They're both Starks, he because King partly due to being a male heir (I said partly, don't jump on me for this one). Jon is somewhat naive, he needs someone to put him in check sometimes. And if these strategies are discussed in an open forum, why should Sansa stay quiet? Those two should work as a team, each one with different streights, IMO.
(Sorry if I'm repeating some points, I didn't read through the whole thread)
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