Yes, guys like this exist, but you would never ever want to date one. I don't mean that to be taken as "you wouldn't actually value what this person is worth, because women don't like nice guys", what I mean is, Ritter's character was a co-dependent who saw someone he could latch onto and either try to "fix" or who would at least let him hang around like a stray dog that would take the hits as long as he got a bone every now and then.
As much as you might like the idea of a guy who would endure the kind of abuse that Ritter's character did, in reality these kinds of people only feed into the cycle of dysfunction.
People who sympathize with Ritter's character need to reevaluate their definition of what a "good guy" is. A "good guy" doesn't sneak into a gated apt so he can watch you masturbate through your window. A good guy doesn't take your abuse like a wet paper sack just because he thinks you're cute or quirky. There are TONS of guys out there like this, who think they're the "nice guys" who girls won't date because of how nice they are, when really they're just creepy little kids in semi-grown-up bodies.
Any average person would find that kid to be a detestable, spineless pushover. He'll dote on you and make your life wonderful for about 3 days, then he'll get on your nerves because his life is all about you, and no human being wants to be the sole reason for another's existence. You just don't. People need to have their own lives and ambitions that compliment but are not swallowed by each other, and as corny as it sounds, you have to respect yourself, and love yourself, before someone is truly going to do so in return.
Thing #2 that makes Ritter's character a chump: This idea that you can "fix" someone is very dangerous. Likewise, the idea that someone can "fix" you is similarly dangerous. Don't listen to Coldplay as if it were a relationship manual. This is the kind of thinking that leads to co-dependent relationships, which are dysfunctional and unhealthy. Both characters had extreme self-esteem issues, and that relationship was not good for either of them. In real life, they would end up only making each other miserable.
This whole concept is the modern version of the fairy tale ending, where the broken girl/guy finds love through some romantic interest that sticks with it and sees through their mask. The Princess and the Frog for the self-obsessed and neurotic.
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lunacyregnant
12 years ago
Bravo! I agree with this comment 100%!
Not to mention a good guy doesn't stalk you and constantly pester you for a relationship like Ritter's character does. Unfortunately it's movies like this, Twilight, the upcoming 50 Shades and Host movies, that warp people's minds and make them think that the traits and characteristics of these characters are what constitutes as a "good guy". And I do agree that any sane man wouldn't not want to compare themselves to these male characters and say "good guy like that do exist", because it's false. No "good guy" would ever act the way Jason Ritter does in the movie, and if he did, a woman would really want to rethink what she's doing if she considers that boyfriend material.
If it's been fifteen years or more, it's no longer a spoiler.
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mitchtrevett
11 years ago
While I agree that it was obvious that both of these people in the movie were dysfunctional.. I'd like to ad: So what?
Not everybody is perfect. Should they be alone because of it?
She needed something, he needed something - they were both unhealthy, but it wasn't MORE unhealthy for them to be together.
A normal man would want nothing to do with the woman in the movie, perhaps pursue her for sexual reasons - like she even says in the movie "if I wanted to have sex I'd find someone who was sexy".
She could bring pretty much anybody she could find home.. (if she showered first probably) for sex, but not love.
Like you said, nobody normal would want to date this ex junkie addictive personality creepy guy. If I remember correctly he was also homeless.. and greasy/unshowered.
So basically they could both be alone forever and live their sad lives until it ends, or they could pursue this dysfunctional relationship that actually makes them both very happy at least 30% of the time.
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hppg
10 years ago
I am torn between your comment and the one above...I agree re they both had massive issues and a lot was dysfunctional. And his behaviour was, a lot of the time, more creepy than romantic. However, I also see what you're saying - just because they both have issues, doesn't mean they should be doomed to be single forever. People can improve, and even if things are still dysfunctional, that's real life, not never having a relationship until it is 100% perfect. So I like both comments I guess.
I also think they did show improvement at the end. While he had replaced his addiction kind of with her, he appeared to be serious about recovery. And she made great strides at the end - might still be messed up but cutting off the financial support was obviously a huge deal. They were both young and it's not like they couldn't change ever. So overall, I felt more positive than not about their relationship, but I find it difficult how so many movies show it as normal that a guy does all these things to pursue a woman (lie, stalk etc.) and that's all considered sweet and romantic. I think if someone did that to me I'd be weirded out.
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