What was the plan, seriously? (and other flaws)

So what was the plan?

To send a probe to search for extra-terrestrial life, a planet that they could then land on and colonize?

Or.. to periodically send a probe to Earth, to search for a very tiny area of one city of one country of the planet, and then have it return after a certain amount of time (and searching) has gone by (or been done)? And when it finds one single, tiny plant, this means the Earth can be re-colonized?

Wouldn't it be more efficient to just leave a probe on orbit, to scan the planet periodically? Not just one tiny area? Wouldn't it be more efficient to scan from a high altitude in any case, than just come very close to the surface to scan a 1x1 meter area? Who designed this system to be this lousy?

Though wasn't the whole point that some are left behind to clean the planet, while most people cruise around in space?

What is the plan? This movie contradicts itself so much that it ends up making no sense.

_IF_ the plan was to send a probe back to Earth periodically, then wouldn't it be more efficient to just LEAVE a probe there (or just some computer infrastructure system, or whatnot, that constantly monitors the planet's condition (not just search for ONE plant), and then sends an email to the captain when the planet is habitable again (not just have ONE PLANT grow in the soil among the dirt and pollution)?

Did the pollution just disappear? Is that how it works? Can a planet full of garbage be repopulated even with non-fat people? Wasn't there a GOOD REASON for why they left Earth in the first place?

How many EVEs do they need for this plan? If they are just sending probes back to Earth (and not other planets), then why do they need more than one EVE? Obviously, one was all that was needed.

Did they really send a lot of EVEs, all over the planet, and only found ONE PLANT? And conveniently exactly where the lone, surviving robot of probably thousands of robots just happened to 'live its unexplainedly sentient and emotional life'.

Robots with emotions?

If you have a robot with emotions, at least _EXPLAIN_ it. If there's a human soul incarnated, like happened in "Short Circuit (1986)", I can buy it - though why the robot would feel with its 'skin' is still a bit unexplained in that movie, but at least it was explained. It wasn't just one of the many robots.

Speaking of "Short Circuit (1986)", just how many things did this brainless movie have to rip-off from the eighties classic?

Let's see.

A robot with emotions.
A lot of Wall-e's looks and functionality.
Similar sounds / voice.
The name. (Johnny sounds like 'Wall-e')
The music (the "Short Circuit (1986)" title music is very similar to the bit with the crazy maintenance robots, when EVE arrives in the cruise ship - but the eighties classic's music is better).
The speech synthesis sound (the way the captain's 'Number One' bot speaks is almost
identical to the robot that offers Dr. Mariner his gin and tonic drink)

And of course things ripped off from other movies, are quite numerous as well. This is what passes off as creativity these days? Ripping off others?

I know there are imaginationless people, who claim that that's what creativity is.

But they are wrong.

Creativity is not taking something existing, and giving it some new twist. Creativity is creating something of your own, expressing your finest self, and doing it yourself (I hardly think it's creativity, when 200 computers render the work of 1200 workers that have been told exactly what to do and how, each of which work on PARTS of the whole, without necessarily even knowing what the full vision is supposed to be (a bit like computer game texturemappers and other graphicians - they don't know what the code is going to be like, they just know their own, tiny, compartmentalized area). Sure, a director may take credit for the 'production', and it can certainly be called PRODUCTivity, but ..

.. creativity is something else.

Creativity is what you see outside in the nature, in space.. galaxies are the result of creativity. No two are alike.

Does THE Creator look at other galaxies and think, "yeah, I better rip-off that curve of that galaxy, because I don't have the imagination to invent a similar curve myself"? No.

And neither should anyone else.

In any case, even with that many people, and the general lack of creativity that staring at a few grains of sand for a year instead of seeing the beach in all its glory causes, at least some originality should be retained.

This movie is such an illogical and unbelievable mess, it's hard to take anything about it seriously. The tired 'romantic robots' cliche (why does ROMANCE have to be INJECTED every dámn place??! Can't one friggin' space/robot movie be WITHOUT ROMANCE?? CAN'T IT?! HAVE YOU EVEN TRIED, HOLLYFYCKEDUP??! RRGH! I get more pissed off by this phenomenon as the years go by) has been done so much, and in exactly the same way.

There's absolutely NO reason why one of the robots would 'survive' (robots aren't alive, unless they are 'explained' to be alive, like in "Short Circuit (1986)", for example - granted, it's a cliché explanation, but it's better than nothing - Johnny 5 is SPECIAL because a human soul incarnated into it - the other robots are soulless. Not so in this travesty of a movie!), and the others wouldn't.

What's the reason? Is it that this particular Wall-E (aren't they ALL 'Wall-Es' anyway? Because it's not really name as much as it is a description of their function, and a corporate brand for those robots) somehow knows how to repair itself, while the thousands of other IDENTICAL ROBOTS -- FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON -- can't?

Also, why can't Wall-E fix the other robots, and make himself friends? Why would it even let the other robots just .. die off, without even trying to help them?

Furthremore, its selfish (romantic? sexual? What? How can a robot have EITHER of these feelings?) lust for the first 'more advanced' robot it sees overrides any sympathy for other robots. It sees a lot of other EVEs - every one of them identical - but for some UNEXPLAINED reason, only THIS particular EVE interests it. What's so special about THIS EVE?

This is not explained. They should all be equal. One EVE should be just as good as the other, they are ROBOTS, after all. But of course this kind of logical thinking is not allowed in a movie that's made to appeal to hags, because hags demand that they are SPECIAL, and the other women don't matter, no matter if they are prettier than her!

Also, if a human body structure really 'de-bones' the people because of 'microgravity' (whatever that means - why should it matter, whether it's artificial gravity or not? And if it has adverse health effects, why even use it, insted of normal gravity? NOT EXPLAINEd), they should all have died a long time ago (or more accurately not having been born).

How does reproduction work, by the way? People are in an eternal holiday, never even noticing the surroundings, and yet, somehow, they manage to BREED? What? How? These fat blobs would die of heart attack if they ever attempted to have sex, and being able to mate with a fat hag like that would be pretty much impossible for numerous reasons - the foremost being that they are -disgustingly-ugly-and-thus-boner-killers-.

There were also so many other robots that Wall-E could have been interested in at least as friends, or in a 'humane' way, wanting to save them from slavery and all that, or stop them from being destroyed.

Think about it, these are the FIRST moving things this super-emotional robot sees, and it couldn't care less - it only sees EVE, which is identical to all the other EVEs.

And of course the romantic-comedy formula; bumbling fool, inferior male makes a woman fall in love with its clumsiness and creepy 'romantic lust signs', like trying to touch her. This applied to robots in a toddler-appealing way .. it's almost enough to bring my lunch back up.

This robot is also a HOARDER (for some reason that's also not expl.. phew.. too sick of saying that so much). This absolute HOARDER mess of a robot that has never seen anything else 'living' or 'moving' than a cockroach (why is there only ONE of them? How can only ONE cockroach survive that long? Wouldn't there be masses of them by 'now'?) -- and why a disgusting cockroach of all things, a SENTIENT cockroach that is able to 'look longingly at a spaceship that takes his only friend to outer space' no less? -- and then suddenly, its censors are overloaded with ALL KINDS of fascinating new environments that it has never seen before (together with SPACE - galaxies, nebulae, amazing sceneries that after looking at the stars for so long in the beginning, with the unrealistic star reflections (hold up a pair of binoculars when it's a starry night, and see how well the stars reflect on the lenses)..

.. there are spacecraft, human beings that actually TALK to Wall-E, other robots by the masses, different light sources, interesting interior walls (no pun intended), higher technology than what it has ever experienced before, video displays that show things it has never seen before, all kinds of 'traffic' and ..

Well, it's like someone who has lived in one single room all his life, would suddenly be exposed to all the luxuries of the modern west at once, the people, the traffic, the internet, movies, computers, musical instruments, every darn thing - and him only caring about some clone of a hag - of which there are at least dozens of, all identical.

How realistic is that? Sure, if it's the only hag you ever meet, never being exposed to hags, it will probably be very interesting, but once you see the whole world and see there are so many other hags out there, and all kinds of other possibilities as well, don't tell me that his 'robot sensibilities' are somehow so dead that they only allow this 'one-itis' romance crap to function, but the logical, scientific, robotic, or just human (sigh) interest to all this other stuff is just somehow ... not there at all?

And this HOARDER robot in no way MISSES his stuff. Come on. Hoarders wouldn't just leave their stuff - that's why they are hoarders in the first place, they are OBSESSED with owning all kinds of crap. They can't throw anything away - this means, they can't LEAVE ALL OF THEIR STUFF, either. Not without some kind of widthdrawal symptoms, emotional scarring, psychological side effects and possible trauma. It would be like a drug addict suddenly going cold turkey. It's not gonna happen without some serious consequences.

There's so much wrong with this movie, so much illogical stuff .. and the message is basically (besides the annoying injected romance crap):

- Don't leave your planet after you make it uninhabitable, but instead, stay, and fix the mess.

Yeah, what a profound message. The message is the only thing holding this mess together, and if any of the other parts were any good, it wouldn't be so important whether the movie even has a message or not. But since this movie is a MESS, it's MESSage becomes the only point to give it any hope of becoming a watchable experience.

And with a message like this, there's no excuse for this movie. They just wanted money, and they wanted to inject romance, depress and scare people (fearmongering), and show them they have nowhere to escape.

Great, thanks. So even if we somehow escape this planet, we have to come back to clean up the messes of OTHERS? (Remember, THESE particular humans didn't create the mess)

Wow, what a message, what a movie.. what a horrible world to live in, where movies like this are not only made, they are bought, watched, and liked! This goes beyond irony.. isn't this kind of crap what this movie is supposedly against? People watching crap from their video screens ...

By the way, why is an information drone equipped with some DESTRUCTIVE WEAPON, and no programming against MIS-USING IT?

And why is this drone programmed to want to DESTROY ANYTHING MOVING?

WHY DOESN'T ANYTHING MAKE ANY SENSE IN THIS PIECE OF SHÍT??!!

And why, oh why, doesn't this 'advanced' robot (though the robots should be from the same era, since the cruise ships left Earth a long time ago, unless they figured a way to consantly UPGRADE the ship and its robots and invent new robotic technologies (doesn't seem like the people in THAT ship are inventors or creators, so.. it doesn't compute)) shoot Wall-E, after trying to shoot it once?

Why does it also shoot the cockroach first, and then suddenly.... doesn't? Mood swings much? Well, it certainly depicts a female realistically in that case. But why make a PMS-robot anyway? Why create ANY GENDER for a robot? Why not just leave it genderless and effective?

Speaking of effective, the way EVE is brought on the planet has GOT to be the least effective method it could possibly have been devised to be. Look at how many steps there are (each of which is played for 'humor', because each of them scares Wall-E of course, but funnily, when EVE is picked up, it's just a simple and quick process. Also, if this robot can lock itself, why can't it activate / unlock itself? And why does it have to be that complicated anyway? And why can't it be done by a remote, wireless signal (like the car keys, which open the car locks, as was demonstrated IN THIS VERY MOVIE!!)?)...

.. so many needless steps just to bring out a drone? Why not make the drones such that they can just be shot or dropped from the drone ship from orbit, or whatnot - and then they could just land themselves and start scanning? Why this NEEDLESSLY COMPLEX and elaborate initiating procedure, that is bound to waste time and fuel ...

Also, if this drone-ship is supposed to send MANY such plant-searching drones on the planet, in various places (which would be the only reasonable solution if this inefficient method is used), then why does the drone-ship have to lift off so high? I mean, does the drone ship do this for, let's say 20 or 200 EVEs? Really? Landing, then this hugely complex procedure, then lift off and fly very high, then do this again.. FOR EACH ONE???

Could it _BE_ any more inefficient?? Who would design it like this?

ESPECIALLY SINCE EVE CAN LEVITATE!

Holy CRAP is this movie illogical and stupidly written!

And I am only a bit over halfway through..

(A bit later)

WHAT? The spaceship TILTS, and people start sliding to the other side? What does it matter in space, which way you are? There is no up or down in space.

Is this movie SUDDENLY explaining that the gravity source of the cruiser exists _OUTSIDE_ the ship? Because that's the only way the tilting can actually have that effect. If it's artificial gravity INSIDE the ship, the tilting wouldn't matter any more than Earth's tilting and turning matters to us right now - we don't feel it, because the source of gravity is inside the Earth, not outside of it.

Just when I thought I have pretty much found most of the glaring errors, illogicalities, and things that don't make sense, this crappy stupidity-fest finds a NEW LOW.

By the way.. if ALL THE ROBOTS have emotions, sentience, agency and apparently, a SOUL (for some reason), then isn't it WRONG to use them as robots, as tools?

Isn't that.. SLAVERY?

Another sidenote: When fat people basically never use their muscles until adulthood, will those muscles function properly and efficiently? Wouldn't just standing up make them out of breath? How can the fat people in this movie do what they do? In my opinion, they shouldn't even be able to stand up (especially if it's true what the one video within the movie told us about the 'loss of bone structure').

Oh my... I can't even find words to describe how appalling this monstrosity is. This may very well be -the- worst movie I know.