100 things we learned from Godzilla
1. 15 years after an INES-7 nuclear disaster, there is "zero radioactivity" at the site (measured by Joe Brody, whose Geiger counter reads "0.00").
2. « [Office workers are] still sourcing the purchase order number for that errant invoice while skyscraper sized monsters battle each other and the city is undergoing an evacuation. […] When a 300ft monster has torn across Hawaii, another one has levelled Las Vegas and they are both going to meet in San Francisco, [said office workers] ignore both evacuation reports and the wealth of news footage and think “I must finish off that presentation”. » http://imdb.to/2j1dP3k
3. « Soldiers threaten a giant monster with a handgun. »*
4. « Setting the story in Godzilla's homeland of Japan would not interest American viewers, so the monster decides to swim across the Pacific Ocean. »*
5. « Okay, the 2 bad monsters have the ability of creating EMPs, killing all electronics and causing aircraft to fall out of the sky.. We learn this early on in the movie, probably in the first 30 minutes. Think the military learns their lesson?? Nope, lets continuously throw about 600 billion dollars worth of F-35s and Battleships in the mix just so we can have it continuously plummet into the water. »*
6. « They know these Muppet hybrids like to eat radioactive materials and can sense it. And hey, there's one making its way from Vegas to San Francisco. So lets strap a huge bomb on a train and slowly move it from Vegas to San Francisco along the same exact path that the critter is going. What kinda harm could that cause? Its not like the thing would sense it on the train and come after it, right? »*
7. « The military storms into a radioactive storage facility but has no clue that an entire half of mountain(!) has just been blasted out by Muppet hybrid #2 (who's much bigger than #1) and this 30 story tall critter is somehow making its way towards Vegas completely undetected. »*
8. « And while we're on the subject of the bomb, what the heck is up with the “breeding” of the two Muppet hybrids anyway?? You got a male, you got a female (complete with some glowy bulging egg sac thing that they give us a really good close-up of.. They meet up to reproduce.. which involves the male giving the female the long, phallic shaped, radioactive bomb which she then rubs between her legs all over this glowy egg sac.. WtF?? How the heck did these things breed before mankind started making huge phallic shaped missiles anyway? »*
9. « A military wife who knows her husband is in danger isn't waiting by the phone for news. Nope, phones ringing and she's doing whatever.. or tells her co-worker she's unavailable. »*
10. A giant monster doesn't trigger any emotions.« Hey, a couple of Muppet hybrids are destroying our city, oh well. A huge Godzilla is barrelling towards our aircraft carrier? Don't panic.. lets stand at the guardrail and watch it peacefully because any emotion such as fear would be too much to ask. »*
11. « Monsters can completely obliterate a nuclear power plant without being noticed. »*
12. « The US Navy will arbitrarily alternate between sailing right next to Godzilla and shooting at him with rockets. »*
13. « With all of the nuclear power plants in the country, which are like catnip to these suckers, somehow a major plot element involves luring the monsters away from population centres with a single nuclear weapon on a train. »*
14. « I still can't figure out whether the bus driver was supposed to be a hero or a maniac for trying to mow down every pedestrian/soldier/policeman on the bridge just to save the walking cliché's son. »*
15. The US navy's go-to strategy for dealing with monsters is to confuse them with a chaos formation. « Toy ships dropped in a bathtub would have a more organized formation. »*
16. « Admiral David Strathairn gets his SitReps from the TV news instead of looking out his window at the 600-foot-tall monster. »*
17. « military people regularly “pronounce out” A.S.A.P. »*
* http://archive.is/3iZYM