MovieChat Forums > Death Sentence (2007) Discussion > 100 Things I Learned from DEATH SENTENCE

100 Things I Learned from DEATH SENTENCE

posted 16 years ago by effigyc
120 replies | jump to latest

1) If you have your throat slashed open with a machete, you will able to talk and will not bleed to death for at least an hour.

2) If your son has had his throat cut, and you are the only person around, by all means stand there and scream for help instead of calling an ambulance.

3) If you are apprehended by the police after being struck by a car while fleeing the scene of a double homicide, you will put in a police line up because they can't be sure you were involved.

4) You can follow the gang that killed your son from the courthouse all they way back to their apartment, and they will never notice you are directly behind them.

5) No one will suspect a man in a suit, waiting in a luxury car for hours in the bad side of town.

6) The police will not investigate the murder of a street criminal just released the day before for murder. They will certainly not suspect the father.

7) If you want to teach your criminal son a lesson, sell a *beep* load of guns to the man who's trying to kill him -- but don't tell him where to find him, because you love him.

8) When storming a criminal hideout, it is best to do so through the front door carrying a shotgun with two rounds in it.

9) When you escape from the hospital, the police will be unable to track down a man who is on foot and wearing a hospital gown.

10) They will also not be looking for your car, so feel free to drive it during your quest for revenge.

11) Finally, they won't even show up at your house until after you've safely stumbled home.

12) Female cops are unusually sympathetic.

13) If you get shot in the leg, you can stand on it long enough to kill empty a full clip on two men, walk over to a bench, and sit down.

14) If you are shot in the neck, you will not bleed to death until you stumble home and watch some home movies.

[–] LarryPeebles 16 years ago

Wow. Get out much? [KIDDING!]

[–] k_eastment 16 years ago

well number 14 is inaccurate as he didn't die, or at least he didn't die on screen

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] Bazcam 16 years ago

18. Cops believe that getting involved with multiple murder cases will probably just make it worse, so they prefer to let them sort themselves out.

[–] EmilMuzz 16 years ago

19. A gang of thugs can kill 2 cops on stakeout, shoot 3 people in a white suburban home, and the police will still do nothing.
20. People with tattoos on their faces will always get their azzes kicked.
21. If you want to be an NHL player, going to college in Canada is the best way to go.

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me, can't get fooled again!" - GWB

[–] allanlieberman 9 years ago

22. An office manager amazingly transforms into a cold blooded killer at the same time acquiring awesome shooting and fighting skills or ?

[–] duongdogg 8 years ago

People with tattoos on their faces deserve it though.

[–] unicornpeg2003 16 years ago

__________________________________________________________________________

15. Always use 2 mirrors when cutting your own hair. One for the front and one for the BACK.

_________________________________________________________________________
Hilarious. I kept wondering why he would shave his head like THAT!

[–] adarkhorse 16 years ago

22. Police hold vigilantes as a much higher priority than cop killers.

23. Vigilantes can track down cop killers a lot faster than police detectives can.

24. If you get shot in your side you will have to have brain suregry and wear a stupid great bandage around your head.

[–] hawaiianshirt79 16 years ago

25. Kevin Bacon is impossible to hit with a sawn-off shotgun even when you're in the same room as him.

26. Kevin Bacon also posesses the kind of superhuman strength that allows him to pull a rug out from under a grown man with enough force to upend him, using only one arm. He will, however, have trouble winning a fist-fight.

27. Beating beaten with a length of wood and having your head smashed against a car park floor won't affect your ability to bounce back up and fight on three seconds later.

28. Middle-aged actors can out-run much younger men, as long as the younger men appear further down the credits and/or get paid less.

[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] silverwolf_316 16 years ago

31. If you shoot at Kevin Bacon in broad daylight, in a heavily populated area, nobody will call the cops.

[–] hawaiianshirt79 16 years ago

"31. If you shoot at Kevin Bacon in broad daylight, in a heavily populated area, nobody will call the cops."

This might be true in movie-land, but it's actually true in real life if you replace the word "Bacon" with "Federline."

[–] illswitch86 16 years ago

32.) Some one having their throat slashed with a machete will live about an hour while someone stabbed in the side will die within seconds.

33.) Cops that are trying to protect your family from a gang of murderers will sit right outside your house in a marked police car with their windows down.

34.) An entire gang trying to kill you, who broke into your house, killed two police officers, and the rest of your family will make sure to shoot you only once in a non vital area.

"Hail to the King Baby"

[–] Silent-Knight 16 years ago

35.) Criminals that look like a bald version of one of the actors from Eragon make ineffecive gang leaders.

36.) When figuring out that the man you have just sold guns to is out to kill your son, the best solution is to load a desert eagle and then do nothing with it.

35.) If your wife and one of your sons has been killed and another is lying critically injured in hospital, the best course of action is to embark on a revenge mission that will likely get you killed and leave him orphaned.

36.) A colt .45 pistol that holds 7 rounds in the clip actually holds 15 rounds in the clip.

[–] EeeGee 16 years ago

LMAO. You lot have had me in hysterics!!!

(as above post is numbered wrong...)

39.) John Goodman can be menacing in bottle bottom glasses.

40.) John Goodman cannot do anything other than sit and talk in said glasses as in scenes where he is standing and acting they are plain glass!

41.) Tattooed gang leader son is a pretty good shot at close range to be able to shoot through the eye of said glasses.

[–] run_dbone_run 16 years ago

42.) Running around setting off car alarms is a good way to get gangs that are already following you to continue following you?

43.) Having a gay son can cause violence.

44.) If someone kills your brother: Pour out an entire beer, yell at your friends for drinking, then yell at your friends for not drinking, then tell them to drink, then punch your shot glass into the wall instead of drinking it.

[–] MGraversen 16 years ago

HAHA nr. 44. is the best so far ! :D

[–] nigelandmabbsey 16 years ago

45.) If i'm gonna buy 3 guns and some ammo, i don't need to withdraw my life savings.

46.) As a news-worthy vice president with a massive house...to get a better car.

47.) Stay unmarried and childless.

"Every day is like Sunday." M

[–] Ravencrave 16 years ago

48.) When you have a son who is in a coma and will probably have a lot of medical bills if he survives, the best thing that you can do is draw all your money out of the bank and spend it on a suicide mission.

49.) After giving a emotional speech to your son who's in a coma about how much you love him and that he just as good as your dead son, shave your head, put on your dead sons jacket en start killing in his name.

[–] Artdoag2 16 years ago

50> that camera footage (from the opening montage of happy family times) taken what would probably 6 years apart (judging from the ages of the Hume's kids as they appear in the different clips) will have the same appearance, even though the earlier clips where probably taken with a VHS camcorder (before digital cams were available) and the later ones with a digital camera.

51> Mr Hume's son's hockey game only last 15 seconds and commences with the players already in action - no face-off or national anthem.

[–] Mossap 14 years ago

"48.) When you have a son who is in a coma and will probably have a lot of medical bills if he survives, the best thing that you can do is draw all your money out of the bank and spend it on a suicide mission."

Lol... that's one of many I was thinking of. Don't stay alive so you can take care of him or anything.

[–] Harmon30 16 years ago

LOL No. 45 is hilarious

[–] An_Invisible_Dog 16 years ago

A run of the mill executive business man can turn into John Rambo over the course of a day.

[–] Extinctive 16 years ago

Someone got bullied at school, obviously, and it wasn't me.

--
I'm holding an 'I Don't Give A Sh*t'-o-meter and the needle's not moving. - D. Coupland

[–] Faye-9 16 years ago

After reading them all, 44 is STILL the best. LMAO!

44.a The guard rail on the top level of a concrete parking garage will be made out of one inch pipe with four foot spans between posts that are also made out of one inch pipe and would hold back any moving object coasting at 5 mph.

44.b When you saw the perp kill your son, AND the murdered store employee's family is encouraging you to testify that you saw him kill your son who died feet away from their son, but your lawyer tells you he won't get jail time on your measily eye witnessing in the dark, you must plea bargain as your only option.

44.c Following 44.b; you should believe said lawyer and not find another lawyer even though you have enough money to get the best lawyer on the east coast.

[–] siargao 16 years ago

Yep, MGraversen, you are right. 44 is best so far.

This young man was a seriously indecisive, uncertain individual.

And not true to character either, because proper tough guys throw their shot down and nearly break their own neck with the effort, thump their chest and yell "Grrrraaaghhh!" and chuck the glass at their woman.

[–] Jimbo-Gordon 15 years ago

What about

You can kill kill someone by shooting them behind their head so that the bullet goes through the head, eye and glasses, but somehow not hit the person that the individual is directly talking to

[–] redpryncess 14 years ago

Haha- 42 and 44 are great.

"Report Abuse" is for quitters.

[–] 14 years ago

[deleted]

[–] Artdoag2 16 years ago

most creative response ever! Down with K-Fed! LOL I can't believe I just read that post.

[–] poorlittleteacher 16 years ago

"31. If you shoot at Kevin Bacon in broad daylight, in a heavily populated area, nobody will call the cops."

This might be true in movie-land, but it's actually true in real life if you replace the word "Bacon" with "Federline."

Oh GOD this made me laugh!!

[–] poser0127 16 years ago

101. If you're browsing through threads of movies you know are highly illogical, especially movies that deal with crime, find some person's post written as if they believe are themselves a gangster, you found a douche bag.

102. If you need time on spell check to make sure your post doesn't look idiotic, you already spackled your stupidity somewhere else in the post.

103. If you're average time posting on movie threads exceeds 5 minutes, you don't have a job. But, in the rare instance you do have a job, you're job is especially terrible.

104. Finally, this movie should teach you to do something with your life, wear a condom and don't get in the predicament of watching your son die.

[–] Hopper10 16 years ago

30: CORRECTION nobody on imdb will notice that billy darley looks exactly like jackie mercer from four brothers....o *beep* its the same guy....aha btw looks nothin like derek.......not jacked enough

[–] The_Movie_Whore 15 years ago

omfg!!! he so does look like Derek! no wonder y i liked it soooo much =P
thank u thank u thank u cuz he was reminding me of someone

&& lets just add the fact that Gerrett Hedlund is hott as *beep* in this movie, n i'd rape him in a heartbeat 0=D

oh yea about #35 ""Criminals that look like a bald version of one of the actors from Eragon make ineffecive gang leaders. ""
*He WAS the guy from Eragon... he didnt just look like him lmfao smooth!

"Bitch! That's cheating! I'm not dead yet!" [StayAlive]

[[<3RIP RIVER PHOENIX<3]]

[–] kennethpitchford 15 years ago

I'm too exhausted from laughing at this hilarious post to go on with 31. But I swear there are 70 more out there for anyone who has the patience. Good work, posters. Maybe the funniest post I have ever read. So much for the "best movie of all time" sentiment of some other posters. I wonder if Kevin Bacon was method-acting his recent humiliation at being revealed as one of Bernie Madoff's gullible victims. In this case, however, he has only himself to blame.

[–] big_ben-1 16 years ago

52) Nowdays, modern criminal gangs are multicultural with white, black and hispanic members.

53) If two cars who looks suspicious are running back and forth in the street you are driving in and you are running low on gass, it's (not) smart to stop at the nearest and most shabbyest gas station.

54) The best restitution drink after playing a hockey match is cold slush from a shabby gas station.

55) be carefull going out in the middle of the street after killing a person in a gas station; a random car which doesn't make a sound and running well over the speed limit could hit you...

56) If you run a long distance with a gang in your heels, and randomly end up in a parking house, you are most likely to find your own car at the top level.

[–] run_dbone_run 16 years ago

57) Kevin Bacon isn't really dead as I presumed he was.

58) John Goodman isn't dead yet either...who woulda thought?

59) This "Saw" guy should probably be psychologically evaluated.

K-Fed...Who said anything about K-Fed?

[–] brobs 16 years ago

60) Smashing a bartenders face into his bar earns his immediate respect. Then it's good to pay him for information.

61) Aisha Tyler, who's usually good and hot, is somehow not hot and gives a quality suck monotone performance.

62) Amazingly, this movie has a decent rating from a decent amount of votes.

63) This movie sucks.

[–] capnmorgan5150 12 years ago

"it's (not) smart to stop at the nearest and most shabbyest gas station."

Exactly! The "Low Fuel" light had just gone off. I can get another 30+ miles out of my Impala after that happens!

[–] nammage 8 years ago

Well, some people don't know. Like last December I ran out of money, wasn't going to be paid for a couple of weeks and I was really low on fuel. Then one day the light came on indicating I was running out of fuel and I didn't know how far I could get. Tried looking it up online to no avail, and I live 12 miles from the nearest gas station so I stayed at home. Then my Aunt, as a Christmas gift gave me a few things one being a gas gift card. The bad thing was it was to a Shell gas station and the nearest one was almost 20 miles away. I didn't know if I was going to make it. I did but barely. So, I figured my vehicle has 18-20 miles from when the light comes on.

It's plausible that Bacon's character didn't know especially being in a large city area. Gas stations are everywhere so who would really think of that especially if they mainly stay in the city. I live in the middle of nowhere, there's only one single town in my County, and it's relatively small (the County is huge) though there are about 20 gas stations in town (mainly Sunoco and independent gas stations) so knowing such information would be important.

Just a note: I lived in a city with over a million people for 30 years, and while convenience is a luxury I miss, I have not lived in the middle of nowhere for a long period of time. Two years in the late 1990s and going on 4 years now.

-Nam

I am on the road less traveled...

[–] nammage 8 years ago

52) Nowdays, modern criminal gangs are multicultural with white, black and hispanic members.

I was going to mention this. I'm watching it right now and I thought, "When did white skinhead gangs start having token black guys in them?"

Looked to see if anyone else posted something similar.

-Nam

I am on the road less traveled...

[–] CaptainBlade 16 years ago

64. When you are 100% fit you can't knock the skin off of a rice pudding, but get shot and shave your head and you will become RAMBO baby.

65. Walking into a gangs local boozer and throwing your weight around does not result in the beating of your life! Who'd have thunk it?

66. This director sucks

[–] 16 years ago

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[–] jwolf123 16 years ago

70) If you and your family are being stalked by a violent, gun-toting gang of thugs, go back to your home rather than a "safehouse", relative's house, hotel, etc.

[–] rene_rugerio 16 years ago

Totally with you #70(joolzwolf) in this one, when you and your family is threatened by a large group of gang members, the best thing you do is arm yourself with a baseball bat; it does not matter if you have the money to get out of the country asap.

[–] Krynnn 16 years ago

71. Getting smashed in the face is the quickest way 2 learn english.

[–] 16 years ago

[deleted]

[–] CuriousDan 16 years ago

74) Shaving your head makes you invincible.

[–] ilya-polovets 16 years ago

i find it refreshing to not hear that stupid music in an action film. That music gets on my nerves.