Did he really cheat?

Interesting point of view.

I can see your point. Man and Womans view of cheating is very different. For example, some women would say that her man talking to other women on the internet is cheating, but men would say (again from a mans point of view) women talking to men on the internet wouldnt be called cheating because there is nothing physical there. But thats my opinion. I could be wrong.

I agree with you, the film, although very funny alot of the way through, dealt with something pretty serious, and unfortunately, even tho my marriage ended, I knew how he felt.

The no sex relationship is really hard, its not always fighting and bickering, its just nothing, nothing happens in the relationship... really really boring.

See like I said im a guy, and I can see where it would be wrong to do what he did, but it still doesnt really feel like the worst of the cheating. Still interesting where men and women differ on the subject. Or maybe they dont. Might just be me that dont think he was cheating.... to the extent of what a cheater does...

Does that make sense?

Do you think Chris Rock's wife in this film was very fair? Did she ever want to have Sex with him? Was she always too busy or too tired? When you answer those questions honestly I think Chris's character was very honorable being married to a person like that. I think most men would be cheating like hell instead of just fantasizing. Oh yes......I'm a man but I would have a serious talk with my wife if she was that way. BTW, I'm 71 and been married for 46 years.

Personally, i feel chris rock's character began cheating when he started going to lunch with kerry washington's character and lying about where he'd been. Cheating isn't just physical it is emotional as well. I think some women would be more upset if their boyfriend/husband fell for another women (enjoyed her company more, thought she was more charming, that her personality was better, loved her more) than if he went out and just had meaningless sex.


I agree.

I think it was more of a degree,

Did he cheat, I say yes,

did he do her, no.

cheating has a lot to do with the emotions of how you made your wife feel. Maybe some women will consider cheating if she finds his husband waxing his carrot on the toilet in the bathroom to an issue of Victoria secret.

Some women don't care if the guy is doing another girl, just as long as her husband comes home everyday.

It's all about the degree, people on this post are basing them off women and men, which is true, there is a difference, but there is just as much difference when you compare one relationship to another.

Baby will go everywhere
Soja Exiles

"A guy is pretty much never going to be only into you."

This is soooo much BS. This is the popular media portrayal. Women LOVE to bash the media image when it comes to their behavior and image, but they buy it hook, line and sinker when the shoe's on the other foot


This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.

Spot on. I couldn't have worded it better.

As soon as you're lying, you're cheating. If you can't tell your spouse you went to lunch with an ex, then something is wrong. It means you have something to hide. I'd maybe forgive him if he met her once and hadn't told his wife because she'd take it the wrong way; but the film takes it too far.

Someone asked this in response to "Do you think men need sex in marraige":
QUOTE: do you believe a woman has a right to expect her husband to be romantic and loving and want to share in her companay?

Well, thats a loaded question. Most men are NOT romantic. None of my five past boyfriends have been, actually, but all wanted sex. Does that make it okay for ME to cheat because I wasn't getting what I 'needed'?

Sure, I would /like/ my boyfriend to be romantic, to tell me he loves me every day, tell me how beautiful I am, how important-- but he doesn't, and won't. It doesn't mean he doesn't love me or thinks I'm not pretty or unimportant, he's just not wired for romance. He doesn't even think of saying those things most of the time. He's a man. I kind of view it as normal. I can cajole and wheedle and beg for romance and he might make an effort that night, but It's not going to change his personality simply because I wish for it. I can give him all the ultimatums I want, tell him I'm suffering without romance and I absolutely NEED it-- but I shouldn't be surprised when they are for naught. As for 'sharing in her company' are you saying that that's an exclusive female need? That men just need women for sex, and they don't particularly want to share in their company? I find that statement ridiculously objectifying. The whole point of marraige is sharing in ones company. You make it seem like anything but sex is a chore to do with a woman; and if a man thinks that, why even get married? Unfortunately, marraige isn't free sex for life, nor free romance for life.

Likewise, a man can cajole and wheedle and beg for sex, but It's not always going to happen. If it does, it won't fix anything. If she just conceeds to get you off her back, she would be doing it for the wrong reasons. Has anyone had great sex when your spouse 'gives in?'...? Honestly? Who wants her to just lay there while you do your deed? That's hardly sex. You can't make someone want to have sex and like it, too-- just as you cannot make a man WANT to be romantic. You can 'need' it all you like; can need sex, can need romance-- it won't change the way THEY feel. I'm not saying it's 'right' to deny sex, but that if someone isn't feeling it they won't just start because you want them to. This goes for men or women. If it is very important that your partner be sexual/loving/romantic -- either you compromise and work it out, suck it up, or rethink the reasons why you married them and leave. I think everyone has the 'right' to do that if their partner is not suited for whatever reason. I don't think it's a fair double standard to justify ones actions as "If I don't get this from you, then I'm justified to get it elsewhere."

My man isn't romantic. I don't love him any less for that. While we have sex often, and the above issue isn't a problem for me, I still feel inclined to respond to that statement above. I know that a man's 'often' is not a woman's 'often' but we do it almost every second day and have been together for around three years. There are days he masturbates and I'm fine with that. I recognize that biological need. Sometimes he uses pics of me. Sometimes, if I can't or don't want to, I still help him. Sometimes he does it when I'm not around. I, on the other hand, can't get romance from anyone but him, so I don't.

If I, starved for romance, allowed myself to be swept off my feet by one of the few romantic men in the world, I would be cheating. "He was never romantic," is not an excuse. I don't think "We never had sex," is an excuse either. Yes, Ejaculating is a biological need. Sex with another woman is a choice. They're different things, no matter how one justifies the latter. Sure one may have various *good* reasons for cheating, but at the end of the day, it is still cheating.

To me, theres a simple way of telling if you're cheating. Imagine it's your spouse doing what you're doing and how you'd feel if you knew she was 'talking to men on the internet,' or about to get her panties pulled down by some ex-boyfriend. If you honestly would think nothing of it then fair enough, but if you would be jealous if the situation were reversed, just don't do it.

Communication is the key, without that and someone who really cares about your feelings, bad things happen. I felt sorry for chris rock's character, he really tried hard not to cheat, but without 2 people who really care about one another's FEELINGS, you are destined for failure.


I think you've hit the nail on the ehad here...the reason that Richard and Brenda were so bored and unhappy in their marriage was that they stopped working at it and stopped talking about it. Marriage requires constant work and reinvention and if you're not honest with your spouse regarding a possible need to shake things up or whatever, yeah, the marriage is going to suffer and eventually one set of eyes in that marriage is going to start to wander.

NICELY SAID.

"We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams." -Willy Wonka

I'm a woman and I don't think my husband/boyfriend hanging out with another woman would be cheating. I think once it gets physical it gets to cheating, but I think that not allowing your spouse to have friends who are different genders is weird and way too constrictive. I mean I don't believe that a person only needs one other person in their lifetime, they need to spend time and be friends with other people. I think its ridiculous to completely rule out all other people (even other people of different genders) when it comes to your life. I dunno, its just ridiculous to believe that one person can completely fulfill you, but what he was doing was not good because he knew the relationship was different and he didn't tell his wife about it, he should have. I think that is the difference in the movie, if his wife knew he had a friendship with Nikki than it would have been okay, but since he was hiding it he obviously (at least in his subconscious) wanted to have an affair with her. Otherwise I don't think its that big of a problem.

The spirit is eternal, deathless...