Anyone who would go to this extreme to inflict such incredible psychological punishment, for whatever reason, themselves have extreme psychological issues. It might also give a little insight as to possibly why he had the affair since little was revealed about their marriage previously, although it's in no way an excuse.
With that being said, in my opinion, she's not fit as a either a wife or mother. He should hired a lawyer, file for divorce, and petitioned for full custody of his daughter. Although that may not be necessary since at the end she said that he still had his daughter but not her. If he did have to file, I'm sure the court would decide in his favor once all the details of her actions were revealed. In addition he should then sue both his wife and Tom for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Such a suit requires extreme or outrageous conduct that intentionally causes severe emotional distress. What both his wife and Tom did was way over the top and such a suit stands a good chance of being successful. Even if he should lose, it would be somewhat gratifying to have both try to defend/justify their actions in court. With his wife implicated, it would serve to support his petition for custody of his daughter. He would definitely have to answer some difficult questions but it would pale in light of what his wife and Tom put him through.
There is also the issue of criminal charges. Both Tom and Neil's wife would be looking at a lot of jail time for a whole slew of crimes. They would possibly include brandishing a firearm, kidnapping (him not the child), false imprisonment, carjacking, robbery (took his wallet), assault and battery, and conspiracy. Also it makes no difference if the gun was loaded or not or even real, nor does it make a difference for some crimes if the wife was involved if only to teach him a lesson. The crimes were against him and he was the victim. The fact that the wife went to the police previously to deflect any allegations by him is irrelevant. He still can insist on a police report and they would have to take one. It wouldn't take much effort on his and his attorney's part to force an investigation along with hiring a private investigator of his own. He has the resources.
His life and all that he might have done would be on display and lives would be likely ruined. If nothing else, dependent on what he wouldn't be willing to lose, with his resources I'm sure he could eventually come up with something just as sinister and painful to repay his wife for his own sweet taste of revenge. For example I doubt it would be too difficult to set her up to be committed to a psychiatric institution since she's already kinda nuts. He could use some of what she did to set him up as a basis and I doubt Tom would admit to any complicity for fear of incriminating himself. He can then ask her "Who breaks a butterfly upon a wheel?" A husband's wrath can be just as punishing.
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