MovieChat Forums > Alone with Her (2008) Discussion > He was basically a normal shy guy

He was basically a normal shy guy

posted 13 years ago by henrimaine
25 replies | jump to latest

The movie was based on an interesting premise and well executed.

But what I find interesting is that the guy (Doug) who spied on the girl was presented as quite a normal guy, not a freak or psychopath. I say he was normal because his main goal was to have a normal relationship with the girl. He wasn't in it for the peeping or terrorizing. He just wanted to get close to the girl. Sure his methods were somewhat irregular but, frankly, did he have a chance with that girl any other way?

An alternative would have been to turn the guy into a serial killer who stalks women to kill them. We have seen plenty of movies like that and I think it's good the present movie took a different direction.

[–] sbauer_19 13 years ago

Ya pretty normal guy to go kill a chick.

[–] henrimaine 12 years ago

The killing was obviously an accident, he didn't plan to kill her or harm her in any way.

[–] sbauer_19 12 years ago

Are you retarded?

[–] luvie2003 9 years ago

You seriously need help. If you justify anything that the character Doug did in this film, you need to be locked up in a mental institution.

Always look for the positive in every situation.

[–] loopinthoughts 8 years ago

some of your points maybe right about he may not be depicted as creepy and psychopathic as the other film characters in the same genre and shown as shy insecured guy.

but the killing was absolutely not accidental. he was alerted "the friend" might find out about him, so he intended to shut her off.

[–] bittybrownie 12 years ago

You say he was normal because his main goal was to have a normal realtionship with the girl.

I say he wasn't normal because his main goal likely was to have a relationship idealistic for him that he could control completely with any girl he objectified. As well as his methods were illegal and indicated sociopathic tendencies: he stalked her, burglarized and methodically installed surveillance equipment in her apartment, played with her emotions (poisioning her and irritating her skin as punishment for her not doing as he wants), stole her dog, murdered her best friend, and murdered her.

I disagree that he wasn't in it for the peeping or terrorizing as Doug to me was a person completely engaged in objectification and fantasy likely unable to function with a woman in a healthy sexual manner shown by the ending sexual scene.

[–] henrimaine 12 years ago

What about hiring an orchestra to play a romantic melody near a girl's house in the middle of the night? That's the kind of thing that has happened in many movies about a guy pursuing a girl. That could also be described as objectifying and manipulating. And yet, in these movies, this activity is labeled as romantic and a proof that the guy really loves the girl.

What I'm saying is that men (in the movies) often use "tactics" to get a woman to know and like them. The tactics we saw in this movie are not radically of a different kind, than all kinds of tactics seen in romantic movies.

The sexual scene at the end of this movie certainly does not prove that Doug was unable to function in a normal way with a woman. He was just nervous and inexperienced, and the girl expected him to "react" too quickly.

[–] bittybrownie 12 years ago

Hiring an orchestra to play a romantic melody near a girl's house in the middle of the night can be either romanic and proof of love or objectifying and manipulating depending on the guy and his intentions.

The tactics we saw in this move are radically of a different kind from all kinds of tactics seen in romantic movie. Stalking, burglarizing, installing survellaince equipment, poisoning, and murdering a woman no matter a guy's character or intention is indicative of sociopathic tendencies and unlikely to be labeled as romantic or proof he really loves her. Not even in this movie is it labeled or presented as romantic and proof of love.

Do tell how is a guy hiring an ochestra is not a radically different kind of tactic from Doug:
stalking a woman
burglarizing and methodically installed surveillance equipment in her home
poisioning her for punishment
stealing her dog
murdering her best friend
murdering her

I didn't state the sexual scene proves Doug is unable to function in a normal way with a woman. I did state to me he was unable to function with a woman in a healthy sexual manner shown by the ending sexual scene. In my opinion what proves Doug is unable to function in normal way with a woman is him stalking, burglarizing, surveillancing, poisoning, and murdering a woman.

[–] henrimaine 12 years ago

Playing loud music at night with an orchestra is against the law of "night-time quiet" (I don't know how its called, but I assume there is such a law). Breaking into somebody's apartment is also against the law. So both activities are against the law. But strangely the first one can be excused if done for romantic reasons but the second one cannot.

[–] sm-meehan 12 years ago

henrimaine- thank you. this is the funniest thread ever!

[–] checkerouterofthings 11 years ago

"The law of night-time quiet". LMAO!

Outstanding work, sir.

[–] LordManhammer 9 years ago

I think your point still stands, bittybrownie, if we acknowledge that the typical rom-com does offer up a bad message for women. The typical movie suggests that men need to go to whatever length necessary to "win" women whose instincts are telling them no. The typical movie shows that relationships are all about what the man wants, and women need to realize when the guy has done enough romantic gestures and just go ahead and date him already.

__ __ __
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!"--Pres. Merkin Muffley

[–] bittybrownie 12 years ago

Perhaps the severe reality check is that normal shy guys are burglarizing surveillancing poisoning murdering stalkers or see those tactics as normal.

Seems my gal pals may be right to reject shy guys or call them creepy.

[–] budarc 12 years ago

Anyone who says otherwise has obviously never been a shy guy.

I agree that sometimes the lengths Doug goes in order to pursue Amy is the only way a socially inept man would ever have a chance with a girl like that. He was a nice guy for the most part; helping her out by getting the website up, selling a few of her paintings (it's unknown whether he was the one who actually bought them). He had to manipulate certain things in order to get her away from Matt (who was the real creep, in my opinion), but I mostly see it as an overall tragedy that he lacked the social graces to get her by any other means.

I identified with it a lot until the last 15 minutes when it spiraled out of control. That's when it takes the usual stereotypical route and depicts him (and by extension, all social misfits) as a generic sociopath. Boo.

[–] bittybrownie 12 years ago

I know many shy guys and they say otherwise.

He wasn't a nice guy for the most part as two acts which were likely self-motivated to gain her trust and appreciation doesn't outweigh sabotaging her career, poisoning her for punishment, murdering her best friend, and murdering her.

You identifying with it a lot suggests you're a sociopath or a psychopath. Toss up though I'm leaning to psychopath because you think Matt is a real creep when Doug murdered two people.

[–] budarc 12 years ago

You identifying with it a lot suggests you're a sociopath or a psychopath. Toss up though I'm leaning to psychopath because you think Matt is a real creep when Doug murdered two people.

Thank you for your professional opinion.

While we're at it, here's a bit of unsolicited advice right back at you: Maybe you should stop being such a judgmental bitch who jumps to conclusions about things she knows NOTHING about.

[–] bittybrownie 12 years ago

You're welcome as I am a professional psychologist.

Amusingly hypocritical to call me judgmental when your initial post was how Doug a murderous stalker was basically a normal shy guy and anyone who says differently has obviously never been a shy guy. I know plenty about self-victimization and bs justifications as you seem to view stalking, murdering, and poisoning as acceptable behavior for a shy guy because how else can he get a gal like that.

[–] Ras_lupo 10 years ago

He stopped being a "shy guy" the exact second he broke into her house and installed cameras everywhere.

1789

[–] AceRoccola 12 years ago

I'm a shy guy. I don't care how shy you are, if you identify with and empathize with Doug and think that he's "just a normal guy" you just might be a sociopath.

Doug is not a normal guy, he's a psychopath and a murderer. Even if he were just manipulating her into a relationship by invading her privacy, he'd still be far from "a normal shy guy". But he doesn't stop there. He sabotages her career, murders her roommate, and then he kills her. An argument that causes your girlfriend to leave you is a situation getting out of hand. An argument that ends with you murdering said girlfriend is a situation in which you are a psychopath.

[–] TonyC4444 10 years ago

I agree with everything you said except the last sentence. If someone commits a murder in the heat of the moment, this is called a crime of passion. If he had done absolutely nothing else wrong except this, we wouldn't be considering him a psychopath. It's all the other things on top of this that make him a psychopath.

[–] timlin-4 10 years ago

Murder would be more normal if the average person could get away with it, it's a matter of ability not conscience

[–] activista 9 years ago

Excellent (and disturbing) film---I'd never heard of it before--and a pretty realistic look at how a stalker was able to insinuate himself into the life of the person he was stalking. And, hell no, what the guy did wasn't normal. A normal guy would have simply asked the women out, not stalked her every move to the point of obsession (which he did) and invade her privacy by bugging her home. That is NOT the kind of crazy s*** that normal guys do. Dude was a creepy-a** psycho stalker who looked and acted like a normal shy guy, which made him even more creepier, and scarier on top of that. Just another reminder that there's more to people than meet the eyes besides looks and who or what you think they might be simply because of their looks. So the OP is big-time wrong---I don't know how you could see anything he did as normal,period. Like I said, still a good movie,though, and the cast (including the main stars) were excellent,too. I wish the ending could have been different.

[–] blairbitchproject 9 years ago

There's nothing "normal" about a sociopath who goes to lengths like bugging a stranger's apartment because he's infatuated with her after observing her in a park. Get help, before you murder a woman too.

[–] 9 years ago

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