She keeps yammering on about how if something happened to Barb, the children would be HER responsibility. She's off her rocker. If something happened to Barb, the children would be BILL'S responsibility, not hers. So why didn't Barb or Nicki correct her?
Love isn't what you say or how you feel, it's what you do. (The Last Kiss)
The idea is, if something were to happen to Barb AND Bill, the kids would automatically go to the nearest relative - their Aunt Cindy - and NOT, say, their 21-year-old ostensible-neighbor.
Another major issue that could crop up is if Barb died but Bill lived. His good old SIL Cindy could easily take Bill to court and claim that the children were living in an "unsuitable" environment or whatever they call it. And most likely, she would win custody. Would you call Bill a "fit parent"? On his own? No way!
It's an absolutely vital thing for *any* family to have something worked out ahead of time for children, in case the very worst should happen. Even if Barb WANTED the kids to "automatically" go to their nearest relative - if there are no provisions put together ahead of time, things can get messy and children can end up in foster care or other state-supported care while things are being sorted out. No parents want that for their child (I hope).
It's extremely unpleasant to contemplate, going through the process of putting together a will and related documents. But, to use the cliche again - the worst can and does happen, however unlikely it may seem at the time.
They are ALL rotten parents for various reasons, but in this case, they are doing the right thing when they put together very specific custody arrangements.
- That said, I really dislike the episode that had all the wives going behind each other's backs and choosing different custody arrangements. It's like "Conflict of the Week" when they didn't have any other plot lines ready to go. BORING.
I understand that if something happened to her AND Bill what would legally happen to the kids. But that's not what she stated. That's why I asked.
Love isn't what you say or how you feel, it's what you do. (The Last Kiss)
Ok I'll start out with a question of my own - Would you really want Bill Hendrickson to raise your kids as essentially a single parent?
Would you want your kids to be imbued in "compound culture" as Nicki emphasizes she would like to retreat to? Or Margie, who is sweet but at the time of the custody nonsense, has no clue what she is doing. (To be fair, she does gain a better understanding as time goes on.)
Barb's sister Cindy states clearly that she wants those children raised with "good LDS values". BARB wants her kids raised in that way; she even considers sending Ben away for several months to get away from what she has come to believe is a poisonous environment.
Clearly, Barb is not thrilled at the environment her kids are observing and even participate in - but at least, with her around, she feels she has more control and is able to provide this guidance.
As time goes on, Barb becomes more and more certain that she has made a mistake in putting all her eggs in one basket, so to speak, and she felt the need for her children to be raised with a "strong moral compass". Cindy is the only solid choice. Barb does NOT want her kids to follow in her footsteps, and realizes that without her keeping an eye on things, no one else would be around to introduce anything other than polygamist values. No one except for her sister Cindy.
Now if Bill WAS widowed, had there been no provision made ahead of time, you can bet Cindy would sue for custody, and win in a minute. Living with Bill would be considered a "damaging environment." (Arguably they are already in a damaging environment but at least Barb takes opportunities to teach her children to live their lives in other ways.) Bill on his own.. well Bill on his own in ANYTHING is a disaster, let alone being responsible for raising teenagers in a non-damaging way.
So that is what Cindy is talking about. If Barb died, Cindy would be the only one left who could be responsible for the kids to grow up with the solid moral compass that Barb would have wanted. Barb becomes less and less enamored of polygamy as the show progresses, and during the timeline of the show, she actively attempts to STOP her kids from living a life like her own.
Therefore, Cindy feels the onus of moral responsibility for her nieces and nephew, should anything happen to Barb.
So yes Cindy "yammers" about being morally responsible to these three young souls - and I don't blame her!
1. Cindy is a total whack job. I wouldn't want her within 100 miles of my dog.
2. Your entire diatribe really has nothing to do with anything.
3. Based on #2, I can see how you might relate to Cindy.
4. See #1 again.
Love isn't what you say or how you feel, it's what you do. (The Last Kiss)
I think your comments are really weird. So I respond with a complex response that sounds weird to you. I regret that I have been unable to convey anything sensible to you.
I thought of it more as a narrative, than a diatribe.
"Why does Cindy yammer":
I gave LOTS of reasons why Cindy yammers on this topic.
I do think I could have been more concise, which would have been less confusing, and I will work on that in the future.
Cindy would still win in a custody battle.
Cindy is evil incarnate. She would be the last person on earth I'd ever give a child to.
Love isn't what you say or how you feel, it's what you do. (The Last Kiss)
Unfortunately, courts have a tendency to put children in horrible places.
I'm taking this fictional scenario and saying what I *think* Cindy *might* be yammering about. I never said it made sense. I absolutely agree that she is a whackjob.
Oh. OK. That's different. I thought you believed the children should be with her because she's the better option. Sorry.
Love isn't what you say or how you feel, it's what you do. (The Last Kiss)
First of all you don't get a say at whether the other natural parent of your children gets to be a single parent of your shared children in the event that you die. But if any guy (or girl) is such a degenerate that you don't want him to be a single parent to his own children then maybe you should have picked better because it's too late now, as he has parental rights. The damaging environment won't fly when the basis of the environment is someone's religion; Texas took removed 400+ women and children and has to return every single one even though Warren Jeffs was convicted of raping some of them. So if that won't make you lose kids then having kids with two of the neighbors won't either.
shareyou don't get a say at whether the other natural parent of your children gets to be a single parent of your shared children in the event that you die.Exactly. If Barb were to die, she would have no say. Bill would receive sole custody - and Cindy could sue for custody and might win. The legal basis would not necessarily be Bill's religion - the basis could be that Bill is very, very lame. He could be a decent co-parent with Barb; does not mean he'd be a competent single parent.