1. That the dramedy "The Family Stone" is pretty much like the horror film "The Strangers" in that people may choose to prey upon you just because you happen to be at home for it.
2. That having a mother dying during the Christmas holiday season gives you an unspoken licence to throw all decency and manners and decorum to the wind when it comes to the treatment of strangers visiting your home.
3. Some women make an unnecessarily big deal about their favorite mug.
4. It's okay to fall in love with your boyfriend's brother. It won't be awkward at all in the future. Likewise, it won't be awkward when your boyfriend is with your sister.
5. Luke Wilson's charm can temporarily make a frustrating movie better.
6. There is an absolute inevitability that within 10 minutes of watching the film you will work out exactly how it will end.
7. Your girlfriend/wife will not thank you for repeatedly pointing out whilst she is watching this film how similar it is to 'While you were sleeping' and all those other films exactly like it.
8. Meredith made a success of her career as a business woman in a modern metropolis, despite clearly being a bigoted woman of below average intelligence, which goes to show that anything, absolutely anything, is possible.
9. Excessively politically correct people are exceptionally annoying.
10. A gay couple including a deaf man and a black guy is beyond any comment and the whole family will not hesitate to ruin a dinner with guests if one of them says someting awkward about them being in the minority.
11. Don't bother trying to please your partner's family members, they're probably just a bunch of overprotective bastards.
12. If you don't love your partner anymore, try his brother.
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The higher you fly, the faster you fall.
13. Sarah Jessica parker looks like a foot
14. the family stone are a bunch of self righteous wankers .
15. Rachel McAdams is hot!
fonzy be with you.
16. Don't bother objecting when your straight boyfriend's mother publicly wishes that all her children had been gay. She obviously loathes the idea of becoming a grandmother, and no one in the family will appreciate having their mother's lunacy exposed.
17. If you are making any breakfast more complicated than pop-tarts for an excitable family, first nail the door shut.
18. If upon meeting a member of your boyfriend's family, one of them identifies another stranger as “the guy who broke his sister's cherry” consider making up with your previous boyfriend.
19. When your daughter takes your house guest's EXPENSIVE shoes without asking, and proceeds to break them, mention to the house guest that you MIGHT have some glue in an uncaring voice (without getting up from your chair), and leave it at that. Do not apologize, do not offer to replace and/or pay for the shoes, and definitely do not even bother addressing the issue with your daughter.
20. If Amy hates the house guest, then everyone should hate her, even before they meet her and are able to form their own opinions.
21. They've identified a gene, which is for window coverings.
22. If you're going to be in the Stone house, take that God damned tie off!
23. Millie's brownies are good.
24. Everett's had a charmed life.
25. After Cybal died, someone finally cleaned the kitchen counters.
26. Do not question your boyfreind's outspoken mother's views if she hates you and clearly wants you out of her house
27. Don't lose a mug that's brown and belongs to Sybil Stone
28. Don't refuse a request for a ring from your son when you know you're going to die and then definatly do not say tough s**t when he says you promised him.
29. Girls like Rachel McAdams wear Dinosaur Jr t-shirts to sleep in.
30. Sarah Jessica Parker can play up-tight, total bitch, pretty convincingly.
31. Rachel McAdams can do the same (& better).
32. Makes me wonder if Strada is even good.
33. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, get a room at the Inn before going to meet the family (your $600.00 Manolo's will thank you for it).
34. If my family were like The Stone family, I would have run away from home while still in high school.
35. No matter what any mean spirited poster will say (YOU ALL KNOW WHO YOU *beep* ARE), Sarah Jessica Parker is a beautiful woman, and I am in love with her.
35. Craig T. Nelson is a total teddy bear of man.
36. The Stone Family only likes certain people and if you don't fit the mold - do not stay for Xmas!
37. People who listen to NPR are cool.
share38.) Brad popped Amy's cherry.
39.) Sarah Jessica Parker loves the gays!
40.) If you spill uncooked strada on yourself, you will probably smell a little like puke later.
41.) If you see your uncle you run up to him like a complete retard.
42.) Everett takes too long to turn right in the beginning of the film. NO ONE WAS COMING!
43.) Amy loves cereal.
Introduce a little anarchy, you upset the established order, and everything becomes chaos
44) If you date someone long enough to be considering getting married, you should really know each others food allergies.
45) When there's 4 kids in the family, don't just assume that a pic of their pregnant mother is the one that the fetus is your lover.
46) Pretty ladies shouldn't dilly dally because people will be talking about them.
47) When your boyfriend puts an engagement ring on your sister, don't assume he's going to ask you to marry him.
48) Meredith has a freak flag....she just doesn't fly it!
49) Ben has a brand new jacket.
50) Susannah still has to be told to just look at her stocking in her 30's.
51) At some point Ben had a "clothing optional" Christmas.
Go shake down the 7-11 for a day old wiener. Melvin- As Good as it Gets
52. That strata looks like Bicentennial vomit.
share53) If your girlfriend is uncomfortable in your family's home, the best thing to do is have her inconvenience someone out of their room, instead of being a gentleman and taking the couch yourself.
54) Your girlfriend MAY/MAY NOT have just been in a car crash. Either way, it's more important to show your family your are upset with them, then to check on the questionable health of your girlfriend.
55) If you have multiple pans of Strata, they ALL need to enter the oven at the same exact time. Do not try to handle them one at a time.
56) If you shift a car into Reverse...the car will travel in reverse.
57) It's good to be openmided with homosexuality, as long as you make sure everyone else thinks the same as you do.
It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
58) 'Billy, Don't be a Hero' is not a good song title for charades.
59) If you stick a silver spoon up any monkey's butt, it's bound to say "please" and "thank you"
60. Apparently, Susannah doesn't speak to her husband much when he travels since he needed an update when he arrived.
61. It's perfectly acceptable to place your pelvic region in the face of a guest while she's sitting in a car alone.
62. There's no such thing as a final step when you leave a bus. Be prepared to bust your ass.
I must warn you. I'm very susceptible to flattery.
63. It's an outstanding idea to invite your obviously charming sister to hang out with your boyfriend.
64. Diane Keaton lives in a white button-up dress shirt.
65. Three siblings can meet their soulmates in the span of just a couple of days.
66. Don't stick up for your girlfriend until she's left the room.
67. It's not made obvious what a naked, drunk girl in your bed thinks when she wakes up and sees you coming out of the shower. No need to realize what might be going through her head and try to clear it up BEFORE she puts her foot in her mouth.
************
Team Charlie
Team AXL Pendergast
68. Hardcore liberals can be just as mean and prejudiced as conservatives.
69. A piece of wood is a better actor than Dermot Mulroney
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72) Not every movie that starts out good ends that way.
73) We really are supposed to like a bunch of *beep* who to put it nicely treat a guest poorly from the start, just because they get angry when she asks why a mother would want gay children?
74) Of course, only gay relationships are non-dsyfunctional. And they can adopt!
75) People who are not liberal and don't smoke pot with their parents are mean-spirited, bigoted, and generally not good for anyone, until they loosen up and become more like the high minded *beep* who look down on them.
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76. Giving a gift of a mother pregnant with one of her children will make people that were mean to you see that you're not a bad person.
77. Watching "Meet me in St. Louis" on Christmas Eve will make you cry.
-"Tell our story Christian"
-"I'm flying high defying gravity"
-"Moo with me"
78. Make sure you take a giant family photo JUST as the guest arrives so that she can feel it right away that she is the odd man out.
79. Have the girl whom your son has brought home for the first time leave the house infuriated by being mistreated and have her come over again to make breakfast and behave everything is OK.
80. Men can only communicate feelings when sitting in the bleachers of an empty sports field.
81. You will not need to use sign language for most of the time you are with a deaf person beacuse they will magically know what's going on...until there is a moment of dramatic tension, then the deaf person will not know what was going on and will have to ask someone else.
82. Bars in small towns are always open late on Christmas Eve.
83. Buses will always stop for you whenever you want and wait while you discuss your New Year's plans.
84. A paramedic can drive his ambulance when off duty beacuse none of his co-workers or his employer will need it.
85. You must stand up to bigots on behalf of your gay son but it's perfectly acceptable to throw a spoon at him.
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90. It's actually possible to cheer when a character in a movie dies of cancer.
91. Craig T. Nelson is capable of acting just as vile as the rest of the members of his family in this movie.
102 or whatever number this is: Christmas cheer might be better if we could figure out how to get a little pot!
share103 (?): Nothing builds family togetherness more than closing ranks and ganging
up on a non-related "outsider" who comes to visit.
104: When introducing your partner to your family for the first time, don't
bother to give them a heads-up on any certain behaviors or topics for
discussion to avoid, such as how to address a hearing-impaired sibling
(don't yell); watch out for the angry, antagonistic sister; and one's
mother is a bad-tempered knee-jerk "liberal" who's intolerant of anyone
more conservative than she is. It's more fun to just sit back and watch
the fur fly.
105: A sure sign of evil is polite formality. Anyone who prefers to greet a
stranger with a handshake instead of an effusive hug, and attempts to
respect her potential in-laws' sensibilities by not sleeping in the
same bed with their son when visiting their home for the first time, is
morally suspect and should be mocked and hated.
106: The best way to get an insecure, reserved acquaintance to loosen up is
to ply them with drinks until they're stupidly drunk and make complete
fools of themselves. They'll thank you for it afterwards--they may even
fall in love with you.
I'm not crying, you fool, I'm laughing!
70. Ben's jacket is hounds-tooth, and it's from Filene's Basement.
71. After you first see the film, you will start clearing your throat all of a sudden.
72. The ring fits on Julie who has bigger fingers than Meredith, but the ring can't fit on Elizabeth (the little girl). Those are some big fingers for a little girl.
73. When you take the last of the coffee, you should ALWAYS make a fresh pot--that's the rule.
74. Popping someone's cherry leads to a free round of beers.
75. Getting married won't make your mom's cancer go away
76. Meredith has nice shoes
77. Everett needs to stop being perfect
78. Meredith is too ashamed to *say* what she did last night, but she will smile coyly and allude to the actions she thinks transpired.
79. Asking your girlfriend's sister to try on the engagement ring you intended for the sister is totally appropriate.
80. Trying on the ring is bad luck
81. Gus is the king of kings
82. If your sister asks why you're wearing her engagement ring, change the subject
83. It's totally acceptable for an unliked, unwanted houseguest to invite someone to Christmas without asking.
84. Even if you spill wet, sticky food on yourself, you will still wear those same clothes all day.
85. Meredith has excellent taste in gifts
86. Next year, order take out
87. If you think your boyfriend is going to propose, do everything you can to avoid it until blurting out your refusal in front of the entire family
88. It is totally believable to fall in love with your girlfriend's sister in less than one day
89. Mr. Stone has the same name as my mother, just spelled differently
90. Ben likes Meredith's shoes
91. You better do as Meredith says
92. Having the breakfast you worked so hard on be destroyed will always lead to laughter
93. Meredith hasn't been humiliated enough
94. Meredith is the spoiled, crazy racist bigot from Bedford.
95. If you think you have slept with your boyfriend's brother, blurt it out in front of his family and act devastated when it isn't true.
96. There are going to be a lot of broken hearts in town when Everett gets married
97. After getting humiliated in front of your boyfriend's family, still try to make breakfast for them.
98. Don't touch the jacket
99. When brothers get into a fight, they b**** slap each other like women
100. You can find a room at an inn the day or two before Christmas with no troule at all.
101. When the family hates your brother's girlfriend, lend her your mother's prized coffee mug.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5831281/1/
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134. Amy is only nice when she sleeps.
135. If you can't find your sister just go back to the inn and read a book.
136. Sarah Jessica Parker is could use some dancing lessons.
137. If you force a ring on someones finger it might get stuck.
138. Amy is scary.
139. It's really cool to call your parents by their first names instead of "Mom" and "Dad".
140. It's perfectly normal to have a dream about your brother's girlfriend (whom you have never seen before) when she was a child.
141. If you don't like the way your brother's girlfriend clears her throat, that is an excellent reason to be extremely rude and nasty to her when she comes to visit your home.
142. If you are said girlfriend, don't cook breakfast for the family.
143. The characters of Meredith, Julie, Everett & Ben were written with the TLC song "Switch" in mind.
144. It's much easier for a gay couple to find an infant to adopt than it is for many straight couples.
145. Closing your eyes tightly makes you invisible to your boyfriend's father.
146. When playing charades, if there is a Black person in the room it's perfectly reasonable & unoffensive to use him as a hint if the word "black" is in the title of what you want everyone to guess.
147. Although someone is deaf, he will know when another person is yelling whether or not it shows in the person's facial expressions.
148. In order to make up with your old girlfriend who mysteriously broke up with you, give her a snow globe.
THE RAP CRITIC:
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/rap-critic
#70 No matter how poorly Sara Jessica Parker s character tries to explain herself while further stuffing her foot in her mouth, she is no match for Diane Keatons fire breathing she beast of a hostess/ mother.
#71 if your boyfriends incredibly judgemental, bitchy sister meets you in the city, then barely speaks to you, even though you took her to the nicest most expensive restaurant you know,,,,maybe you should rethink those Christmas plans.
Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig.
70. Dermot Mulroney looks creepy in a hoodie.
71. Coloring 3/4s of your hair while letting your bangs and a strand on the die go gray is a questionable look at best.
72. Amy's students probably hate her.
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Amen!!!
share]Just for your FYI, there are 5 children in the family. I LOVE this movie!
share5 kids.
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108. Clearing your throat repeatedly while taking out your future sister in law to a nice restaurant is about the most offensive thing you could EVER ,ever do.And if you dont agree,you belong in the KKK
109. Telling your future daughter in law about how some guy "popped" your daughters cherry afer knwowing her for a day should not be considered offensive,disrespectfull or crass,and if you think it does,then you belong in the KKK
110.Saying you want all of your sons to be gay so they dont ever leave you is not selfish,or wrong,its just the way a mother shows her love.And if you dont think so you belong in the KKK.
111.Contradicting the previous argument by saying a gay person may have a hard time dealing with prejudices,and that it may cause their lives to be unhappy is for someone who belongs in the KKK
112. If you dont smoke a joint with your father,you belong in the KKK.
113.If you hear your sister crashing her car outside,just stay in.Its cold out there.Better yet,stay in and flirt with her fiance.
114.If you hear your fiance crashing her car outside,just stay in.Its cold out there.Better yet,stay in and flirt with her sister.
115. A main character dying of a terminal disease can make for a very happy ending.
151-Meredith doesn't care if you like her or not
152-Meredith doesn't know the rules
153-The Bride Wore Black
154-When you're about to step off a bus, flip your hair and stare dreamily at the person standing in front of you
~*And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming*~
155.) Everett is allergic to mushrooms.
156.) Ben is here.
157.) Ben is also queer. Get used to it.
158.) All of the *beep* sitting at the table were abnormal.
159.) Meredith would sign, but, doesn't know the language.
160) The matching of shoes and shirt (in the color Pepto pink: Meredith and Ben) is the sure symptom a love match made.
161) "Millie's Famous Brownies" (laced with pot?) may be both the disease and the cure for the munchies.
162) "Millie's Famous Brownies" (laced with pot?) may only be carried to a high school football field for inconspicuous consumption by would-be Bohemian know-it-all types.
163) Patrick really was "a clue."
164) Patrick and Thad "were hit twice."
165) When you leave the room, the Stone family will talk about you.
166) Despite members of your family objecting to you marrying your brother, even while looking for an engagement ring, accusations of racism, homophobia- all is forgiven with Christmas presents.
167) People actually blurt out "I won't marry you!" and "We didn't sleep together!" without thinking twice in front of a group of people
168) O'malley's is open Christmas Eve
170) Kelly Stone will bring you coffee up to your bedroom, and open the door if you don't answer after knocking.
169 or 171
Pregnant women like to watch Judy Garland movies on Christmas, because a 30 year old woman wants to see a 60 year old movie? Dad keeps saying Merry Christmas.. he must have Tourettes
Everyday I learn something new!
171. I fell for Luke Wilson because of this movie. And I think giving Merideth Sybil's mug was him giving a big FU to his whacko Mom.
share172. In a small town, on Christmas Eve (or right before) you can get large reproductions of a picture copied 5 or so times and custom framed in like, a day.
share175. Amy loves Patrick - but it took years.
176. Being uptight and socially awkward makes you the devil.
177. You can make jokes about gay people, black babies and sex but when a person accidentally points out that someone is black, they are bigoted and awful.
178. The Stone family is very liberal and accepting, although only towards people exactly like them.
179. When your son is telling you that he’s going to marry his girlfriend, you should show your support by bringing up his ex-girlfriend, who was great.
180. A person who coordinates her outfits from head to toe wears a black bra under a white shirt.
181. It is completely acceptable to hate a person for clearing their throat.
182. When your daughter hates her brother’s new girlfriend, it’s wise to create more tension by making the girlfriend stay in said daughter’s room, forcing the daughter to sleep on the couch.
183. It’s normal for a family with a deaf family member not to know how to sign properly.
184. When you’re deaf and someone tries to speak clearly and loudly to make sure you’re included in the conversation, don’t tell that person that there’s no need to shout, just roll your eyes and make that person feel like an idiot.
185. "Right Back Where We Started From" is Meredith's jam.
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This is easily the most hilarious message board thread on all of IMDb.
Thank you all.
[purple] Two little mice fell in a bucket of cream...