MovieChat Forums > The Family Stone (2005) Discussion > Horrible judgemental hypocritical family...

Horrible judgemental hypocritical family (SPOILERS)

posted 8 years ago by filmcritic-16538
15 replies | jump to latest

SPOILERS.

They're not liberal at all, if they were liberal minded they would accept Meredith for who she was which was uptight, there's nothing wrong with that, she just likes things the way that she likes them, Meredith isn't a laid back relaxed person and that isn't a sin.

The famous dinner table scene was cringeworthy, i think all viewers can agree on that. The family overreacted to Meredith's comment. When Julie said an inappropriate comment about the upcoming adopted child's race - no one was offended by that, but when Meredith said something they went crazy - the thing is they already disliked Meredith, so that comment just added more fuel to the fire. They had their opinion and they expected everyone else to have the same opinion, well that isn't how the world works, they're intolerant and couldn't have a friendly debate and couldn't agree to disagree, instead they had to shout and scream.

Meredith asked a fair enough question, BUT Diane Keaton was only joking anyway when she mentioned about only wanting gay children, it was just a silly joke, but because Meredith doesn't really have a sense of humour she didn't just let it go.

I along with a lot of other viewers sympathised with Meredith, they were nasty to her during the entire movie and she was never nasty back.

And at the very end they have that slapstick scene hoping audiences would forget how mean they were for two hours, they expect the audience to just love the unlikable family and forget everything. I'm not buying it.

The only nice scene was when they all opened Meredith's Christmas presents, they were genuinely thankful and loved the presents, that was a lovely scene.

Overall, this is not a great flick as many would agree. As a 33 year old i like older women and Diane Keaton is sexy, but i hated her in this film.

The end of this motion picture sends a message that conforming to other people's standards is a must, it's so wrong on many levels, Meredith was who she was, why should she change to suit them?!

[–] ForeverLate 8 years ago

I agree!

The family was dealing with the mom having cancer, and it seemed that before Everett met Meredith he was more laid back like his family..combined with Amy's stories, they probably thought Meredith was forcing Everett to be someone who he really wasn't..and it did seem that way from the scene with the gloves where Meredith tells him to buy red for Amy. Everett was not happy with Meredith and his family saw that, I think.

Still doesn't give them the right to treat her so horribly!

Meredith was a bit more cold and uptight than the family but still no reason to treat her so bad!

Susanna the older sister wasn't so mean, but she didn't even make her kid apologize for tearing merediths shoes up. The dad was nice but a pushover. Ben was the only nice one. Thad had a disability, but that shouldn't give anyone a reason to be so awful. Thads husband was ok at times,

Amy and Sybil were just terrible! Amy must have been the school bully!

Sybil's "you did good" with the photo was annoying..like Meredith needed her approval!

Meredith did seem like so someone who was Type A and who always wanted to be the best..so it's good Ben softened her up a little.

[–] filmcritic-16538 8 years ago

Exactly. The film was just terrible on so many levels. I disliked the dad the moment he screamed at Meredith at the dinner table, even when he apologised the next day, i still disliked him, i disliked the black gay dude the moment he got offended at Meredith's comments - it was clear she wasn't being spiteful. You're right about the "you did good" comment, i never thought about it like that, but yeah this movie is vile, this shouldn't have been a Christmas film, it should have been a Thanksgiving flick or something, this movie is on the same level as Christmas With The Kranks, both movies are deceiving.

[–] larpine-225-371665 8 years ago

And yet you spent all this time coming to the board to thrash it. And Christmas with the Kranks is your comparison?

Bottom line, my friend, this is a great film and you just didn't get it. The intelligence of this film goes far beyond the script and lends itself to something new every time you see it.

You brought up the dinner scene, so what would have been your opinion of Julie had she said "you don't REALLY want a black baby, do you?", for Meredith saying "you didn't really want you children to be gay, did you?" was absolutely no different. The implication that a person is in some way lessor due to their sexual orientation is equally discriminatory as making the same implication due to their race.

People come to the board to defend Meredith and incite the family for overreacting, yet that's exactly how her comment was viewed by the family and she made it at the table with their gay son and his husband attending.

All that said, the great thing about film is that there's something out there for everyone and I seriously doubt this one is ever going to make it to your favs list, however, a lot of people don't share your opinion.

[–] filmcritic-16538 8 years ago

Well you've got your opinion, iv'e got mine. Just like you said - some people defend Meredith and some people take the side of the family. Overall, all opinions are subjective. Iv'e watched this movie numerous times throughout the years and when i watched it for the first time i tried to see things from the family's point of view, iv'e looked at both sides and there's just no excuse for the family's behaviour, they disliked Meredith before they even met her partly because the youngest daughter had nothing positive to say about her.

Regardless that they disliked Meredith, they should know that it's just human decency to not treat other people that way.

[–] laurel-tree 8 years ago

I do actually like the movie and am entertained by it. I watch it every Christmas.

However, I agree with much of the OP's comments.

The family was horrible, but I have to say that I know this kind of family; very close-knit and cliquey, and hard to penetrate; a bit like that awful family in Meet the parents, who were so nasty and spiteful and mocking towards Greg/Gaylord.

I have known quite a few people who have married (or attempted to marry) into a family like this, and it's rarely ended well. Only if you become 'one of them' will you fit in and be accepted, and that usually involves sucking up to everyone, singing to their tune, jumping through hoops to please them, and sometimes joining in the family business or getting a job where most of them work.

You often find that the members in this kind of family have no friends. Why do they need them when they have 3, 4, or 5 siblings, and siblings-in-law, and a bunch of nieces and nephews? They are very insular and cliquey and don't like 'outsiders.'

And I agree that although they appeared to be all 'right on' (a mixed race gay couple with one of them with a disability FFS!) and so liberal with the cool 50-something mom wanting lots of little gay sons; they were extremely intolerant, and very typical of leftie liberal types. Ranting on about equal rights and tolerance, and bashing anyone who doesn't agree with their leftie views and accusing them of being bigots and full of hate.

This WAS a horrid family, the parent were unlikeable, the eldest son was, the gay male couple were, the horrid brat Amy (played by rachel adams) was, and the only decent one was Ben (Luke Wilson.) And wtf was the deal with AMY? She was at least 28! Get a job and a place of your own you silly tramp.

I find the film watchable and I find it weirdly entertaining, but it does have its flaws. I'm going with 6 out of 10.

[–] filmcritic-16538 8 years ago

Real talk! This Flick is unwatchable in my opinion. It's terrible, i'm over this movie.

[–] larpine-225-371665 8 years ago

And yet, you've "watched this movie numerous times throughout the years", (your words), so give me a break if you're not willing to give one to yourself, for you'll probably be back complaining about the movie next year.

I'll also reinstate my opinion that the hypocrisy here is your own, for had Meredith's questioning displayed a lack of understanding of race, rather than her ignorance about sexual orientation, you'd likely be ballyhooing this as the best holiday films ever.

Bottom line, the move is about people who were ahead of their time and most people still haven't progressed enough to get it.

[–] mrssutherland2013 8 years ago

I absolutely love this movie, but i agree the family were intolerant

I've had the misfortune to be with someone whose family was similar to this although not quite as bad, and its really hard being an outsider and trying really hard to fit in, going out of your way to try and please everyone whilst nothing you do is right also.

You feel paranoid and jumpy as well as worthless and left out.

Funnily enough one Christmas I'd had enough and voiced my opinion, which led to our relationship ending on Boxing day. And although I was in a dark place for a while afterwards, honestly it was the best thing that even happened to me.

That's why I do feel for Meredith, but I also feel at times she could be rude herself, although not mean.

I just want to say also that being mixed race I never found anything offensive about Julie's question about the ethnicity of Thad/Patrick's child, it was asked out of genuine curiosity.

Meredith however WAS being slightly offensive, even if she didn't intend to be. Implying life would be difficult for a gay person and it shoudlnt be wished upon them whilst two gay family members were sitting across the table was just stupid, one of those things you might think in your head but it doesn't need to be said.

Equally, Patrick really pi ssed me off in that scene claiming they'd been hit twice. I felt he milked the situation a little bit.

**cArNiVaLs oF fAyGo**

[–] filmcritic-16538 8 years ago

mrssutherland2013: I get what you are saying. Good for you that you voiced your opinion, it is always great to be rid of negative people, life is too short to have people like that in your life, i'm glad that you got rid of them.

You mentioned the black gay guy "Patrick", i personally did not like this character, even though he was nice to Meredith when she was cooking breakfast, the rest of the time he wasn't that great, he never stuck up for Meredith, now one might think "why should he stick up for her? he barely knows her", but it was mentioned very briefly at one point in the movie that the youngest daughter gave HIM a difficult time as well when he first joined the family, so you'd think from having a similar experience to Meredith that he would have her back. That "being hit twice" comment was ridiculous, it was clear that she wasn't meaning to be racist. Patrick was offended at the "gay comment" so he decided to play the race card as well. Pretty childish.

Meredith didn't have a sense of humour and it looks like she wasn't experienced in social skills hence the "gay comment" that she made. Diane Keaton's character wanting all her boys to be gay was a stupid thing to say, but like i said it was just a silly joke that Meredith didn't get, they overreacted to her though.

The father was wrong for shouting and screaming at her like that, he knew it was wrong that's why he went to apologise to Meredith the next day.

Meredith should have just told all of them (including Everett) to go to hell after that dinner table incident, she should have gone to the hotel and broke up with Everett, but instead the writers had her trying to conform to their way of thinking, it would have been a much better film if she'd have gone her own way and had nothing more to do with that family.

[–] larpine-225-371665 8 years ago

You know, it would be great one day to do a group face chat and watch this film, so those of us who do get this film could explain to those that don't.

[–] jrhpax 8 years ago

Jes' sayin'.

The Family Stone were all Democrats.

Merideth (SJP) was a Republican. No wonder the family hated her.

I GET the movie. I'm a Democrat. I actually liked all the characters and felt sorry for Merideth.

I also don't understand the hate for the movie. I love the movie.

Of course, Diane Keaton is my all-time favorite actress, and so I'm predisposed to love it.

[–] larpine-225-371665 8 years ago

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

If you're putting into terms of Republicans and Democrats, trust me, you're REALLY not getting the movie.

[–] TamPalm 8 years ago

The op and others actually sound quite informed about the movie and seem to "get it" just fine. I wonder what it is about the movie that you believe you "got" that these other very articulate viewers didn't.

"If it doesn't make sense, it's not true." -- Judge Judy

[–] larpine-225-371665 8 years ago

Because articulation means you're smart? Perhaps a little too much Judge Judy.

The answer to your question is in my posts and it's a waste of my time explaining other's prejudice.

[–] Sugarminx 8 years ago

Yeah you are absolutely correct. I can imagine myself in poor Meredith's position. Trying so hard to fit in and do the right thing but just not quite reading those people well enough to be able to give them what they want.

My ex in laws were like that too. Disapproved of me from the outset because they felt superior to me and it was nightmarish being in their company knowing I never quite lived up to their expectations. I was young, shy and insecure and not the mouthy, outgoing and confident type they would have preferred! All it would have taken was a little genuine kindness from them to draw me out and they would have seen I was a good person!!

And it was the same for Meredith. Ben was nice to her and made an effort to get to know her.

Also I never understood their blind love for Julie. What was so damned fabulous about her. She was as bland as day old tapioca pudding. And how insensitive of them to openly favour her over the girl who was supposed to be welcomed into the family. Truly they behaved like a bunch of ignorant neanderthals - with the exception of Luke Wilson's character, he was a sweety.

"Puss rules!"
"It's Pus"