Greek Weddings?
I have been told that Greeks prefer to marry within there culture. Is this still true? Even to the importing men or women from Greece for arranged marriages. This seems to be true in Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants also.
shareWell, firstly that's quite a vast generalisation. And no that isn't really true nor has it ever been really. Greeks don't generally go out of their way to marry other Greeks. There are of course exceptions... But in Greek immigrant communities there is a tendency to meet other members of the same community, simply because you either grew up together, live close by or just because you have many things in common. But it's more complex than that. It wholly depends on your upbringing, parents, ties to "Greece" and your Greek heritage. There are just as many "mixed" couple as there are Greek couples (we're talking about Greeks living abroad here). Many times it depends on your upbringing. It also varies between different Greek immigrant communities in different countries.
Arranged marriages are not part of Greek culture, at least not in the way people think. Greek parents do not choose brides for their children. A Greek man can ask a girls parents to marry their daughter without having known her previously (although many times they will have already known one another in secret), or someone can ask on their behalf. The proposal can also come from another family who knows a boy looking to get married etc - but the girl has the right to say no and that's that. It's called "proksenio", and this is commonly mistaken for an arranged marriage but it's not the same thing. This used to happen quite often in the past, and although it still partly exists in rural Greek areas it is very uncommon these days.
Speaking as fellow Greek...Dionik1977 nailed it!!!
The World is a Play!!!
what about in the movie where she says marrying young is common and older women not married or marry later are looked at strangely? I have a friend from an asian country who said it happens in her culture so I was unsure.
"I'm not bad I'm just drawn that way." Jessica Rabbit
Well, that mentality does exist, but again it's more common in older generations. Greek children are expected to study and get a degree - so what the dad says in the film about Toula being "smart enough for a girl" is actually not true. Greeks are one of the most highly educated populations in the world (both men and women).
Having said that, there is generally an expectation from parents that you should marry within a "reasonable time", or at least find your other half and make plans to get married and/or live together. If this does not happen you sometimes face the reaction "why has he/she not done this? Is something wrong?" And then some people do think that if this does not happen within this "reasonable" time then you will be too old to be able to do anything about it.
There is an attitute from previous Greek generations that "your life is not complete" until you get married and raise a family. Parents can sometimes say such things as: "well, you have a degree and a job now, so all that remains is to get married". Important to note though is that the majority of Greek parents would want you to be "ready" before marrying, ie having an education and a job. They would very likely not support you getting married without having accomplished the aforementioned.
But such notions are changing. Today Greeks have a more modern view, eg cohabiting for a long time or not even getting married but still live together and raise a family. This film is an exxaggeration and plays on the stereotypes that most Greeks are familiar with, but which might not necessarily be prevalent as much today. So don't take everyhing literally. Anything said or stated should be taken with a pinch of salt. Stereotypes are just that, stereotypes - although they are partly based on fact and reality - and this is the case with this film.
Enjoy it for what it is but don't take everything as absolute truth.
So to answer your questions: You could see Greek society as maybe a more conservative and traditional version of an average western modern one, ie yes it's modern but there are still remnants of an old mentality. And as before, there are always exceptions to any rule :)
Hope this answers your question.