I've just finished the movie and think this is the most off base interpretation i've read until now. Completely wrong in my book anyway. I should add that i've never read anything upon the movie or director and that i have seen the movie only once. Here's my take:
So he storms in to reclaim his position of power which the letter has taken away
That letter didn't take his power away, it gave him
all the power imaginable over another person. He storms into her place to precisely realize her fantasy according to the letter. He was masturbating under her window, he mistreated the mom, he locked her in, took the key, slapped her in the face even though she was begging, treated her like sh!t, everything in order to please her and respect her wishes. He even doesn't hit her when she screams "not on the hands!" when she was trying to free her mom.
The reason he was frustrated is because this role playing wasn't really his thing and he was forced to do the kind of stuff to a person that would have otherwise never occurred to him. He was distraught after reading the letter because he finally acknowledged that the woman he loves was a nut case.
He didn't "throw out" anything, i don't see how you can think that after having seen the movie. He is trying to respect her twisted wishes to the letter.
I think part of the director's intentions, too, was to show the difference (or maybe not so much a difference) between ritualized violence like S&M and real violence. This puts the viewer in a strange position as well because we're watching "real" violence take place in a "fake" scenario
That's wrong too in my view. That was not his aim and what we saw at the end in her flat was nothing
but ritualized violence. As to why she suddenly stopped enjoying it mid act, i have no real explanation. I would hazard that the realization of her fantasy wasn't up to her expectations, maybe he wasn't hard/mean enough? Maybe the constant apologizing and talk put her out of it? I think she realized that the fantasy wasn't painful/humiliating enough which is why she went back to something more powerful i.e raw pain, which is why she stabs herself at the end of the movie.
At last, and this is probably the first time in my life that i say such a thing, but in this specific scene, in my humble opinion, it wasn't rape. How can it be rape when the person clearly told you several times that you can do whatever you want with her and that even if she begged, he shouldn't care the least and just keep going. She
literally wrote him a letter
explicitly detailing what she liked and how she liked it and how she wants to be treated. She shouted several times "I want what you want!" and wrote "Shove me my own stockings down the throat until i can't breathe" or something to that effect. It just can't be rape. It's the only time i have and probably will say this, but this was, as twisted and perverse as it looked, consensual sex. Every time in the movie when she asks him to stop, he did indeed stop. Every time. Why would he rape her this time? From his POV and mine, she was willing and if he had felt otherwise, he would have stopped.
Now am I saying that one can't rape a masochistic person in a role play? Not at all. What i am saying is that you can't rape a person when the rapist is respecting to the letter the instructions he has been given by the victim. If the sex happens outside the limits described by the letter or if the safe word has been used and the role player doesn't stop, then it's absolutely 100% rape and there's no excuse for it. However, if everything unfolds according to the plan and the plan
is rape, then it simply can't be genuine rape but a game.
She jumping on her mom and looking at her pubes and kissing her was more rape than anything the guy ever did to her...
People who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs
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