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Lorelai's independence real or fake?

posted 8 years ago by perfect_lover2012
9 replies | jump to latest

The title is just for dramatic flair but I think her independence that she lords over everyone from her parents to Logan and random naysayers is more of a way to guard herself from other people. She says that Emily never lets her guard down and while it's true she's guilty of the same thing. She doesn't let anyone into the secret Gilmore Girls club because she doesn't want to get hurt. The only guy she let all the way into her life was Luke and she fell apart when things ended both times. Lorelai likes to think of herself as independent but her relationships with Luke and Rory were both codependent at some point. She knows if she ever "depends" on anyone she will be completely reliant on them for whatever they provide in their relationship. I wish the writers would've shown Lorelai as more of a mentor to Jess or Logan instead of being so critical. She had a history similar to Logan and she never seemed to like him. Or she forced herself to not find him charming because he represented everything she wanted to hate. And with Jess, she should've understood what it's like to run from love and problems because you're angry at the world. Was Lorelai's independence real for you? You can discuss her financial independence or go into the emotional aspect of the character.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] nuhor_lir_gurenna 8 years ago

I think her obsession with independence is mostly financially, she was fiercely independent to such ridiculous point I think is to prove something to her parents that she could make it on her own, she does not need them.

A cynic is what an idealist calls a realist - Sir Humphrey Appleby

[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

It's so laughable too because whenever Lorelai needed money she always had the opportunity to get it. When she needed someone to cosign for a loan or when she needed money for Rory's tuition she was able to talk to her parents about it and get help. She was also able to get a loan from Luke for the Dragonfly. Lorelai acted like she had a strict budget and life was so hard for her. She was very fortunate to have Mia take her in and have an entire town that supported her.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] Eva_Marrie 8 years ago

Furthermore, it made absolutely no sense that Lorelei was so desperate to get out of the privileged life as to run away with an infant, but then wanted that same child to become part of that world by going to super-prestigious and expensive private school and uni!

[–] kathykato 8 years ago

Yes, and you know that deep down Lorelai was sad she missed the opportunity to go to an Ivy League college, and that she was trying to live out this dream through Rory. Why else would Rory have been wearing Harvard sweat shirts at age four? Also, when they visited Harvard, Lorelai was wistfully looking at the pictures of all the valedictorians. You know she was wondering "what if." As much as Lorelai touted her independence, she also had ambivalence about missing out on part of what her parents had planned for her. It was mentioned that Lorelai had been at the too of her class in high school, so she was smart and maybe even a bit like Rory.

Lorelai wasn't that independent. She always needed a relationship with a man so she could feel good about herself. She needed the approval from others. She needed Rory's approval, too, which is why she never disciplined her and Rory grew up unable to handle criticism. As soon as Rory cut Lorelai out after sleeping with Dean, that very day, Lorelai proposed to Luke because she needed that affirmation to make up for the rejection she felt from Rory. So no, Lorelai was emotionally very dependent and needy.

[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

I agree with both of you. I think subconsciously Lorelai wanted her parents to drag her back home kicking and screaming. She wants to believe that they don't care and that she's a loser. She projects her own insecurities into their relationship. Her parents are definitely disappointed that she didn't go to college but as we saw in season 2 she considers Rory the daughter they didn't have which isn't true. So she chose to raise the daughter that she couldn't be from the polite demeanor to the secret entitlement and the obsession with Ivy League colleges. She tried to mask it with choosing Harvard but she wasn't that different from her parents.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

[–] nuhor_lir_gurenna 8 years ago

I think that is why she felt so humiliated each time she asked her parents to help. She could rationalize that the tuition loan is for Rory and housing loan is to keep a roof over Rory's head, but dragonfly is her own thing and she can't let her parents know she is a failure. Because if she asked her parents to bail her out then she is no different from any other rich kids.

A cynic is what an idealist calls a realist - Sir Humphrey Appleby

[–] LoBo_77018 8 years ago

She was independent in some ways - she supported herself and Rory. But when it came to big ticket items she always needed someone. Either her mother to co-sign a loan or her parents to pay for Rory's tuition or Luke to loan her money for the Inn, etc.

If she didn't need to send Rory to private school or didn't need to buy her own Inn she would have been okay. She could have gone through her own mortgage company to get a loan for the roof just at a huge rate of interest since she had no other collateral.

[–] Eva_Marrie 8 years ago

Te mystery for me has been child support from Chris. Did they ever have any kind of legal arrangement? It looked like he wasn't making his own money for a long time, but wouldn't he have had a trust fund?

[–] nuhor_lir_gurenna 8 years ago

I think he used the trust fund money to start his own company, probably helping out Lorelai in the beginning but soon his business started to fail and his checks were starting to bounce......

A cynic is what an idealist calls a realist - Sir Humphrey Appleby