Did it seem to you? - Gilmore Girls (2000) Discussion

[–] yeamf-93422 8 years ago

Nah. I think Rory was a lot smarter and more mature than Dean, and she offered her opinion. She has strong opinions, and I love that she's not afraid to voice them. I don't think that is a negative trait at all. In fact, watching the show growing up, I think Rory is one of the reasons that I am opinionated as well.

The thing is, she wanted the best for him because Dean deserved the best. Rory treated him badly with the Jess thing, but she really did love him a lot. Dean could have gone to a good school, he was smart enough. He just didn't believe in himself. For god's sake the guy built a car out of nothing! He could have went to college, studied Mechanical Engineering or Physics or Robotics; and could have been a really famous and wealthy person. He was certainly cut out for it.

Then he got married at 19? Tell me you don't think that's a wise decision. Dean isn't even a small town guy; he was raised in Chicago. It was just weird. He did have sort of conservative views (he thought the whole Donna Reed thing was nice! *gasp* ---> I'm actually on Rory's side on this one as well) but still he's a Millennial, and last I checked, most of us don't want to settle.

I think Dean just had really low self-esteem, because he was good at so many things (didn't he play two sports?), he was a nice guy and he was good looking. I don't understand why he would not want more for himself. I'd have been right there with Rory, nagging him about his standards. Just because Rory set such high standards for herself, and Dean was just... fine with what he had.

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[–] Blanche_Elizabeth_Devereaux 8 years ago

I think that Rory (and also many times Lorelai) often suffered from the inability to ever see another side to things. She has an opinion on something and automatically decides that that is THE way it has to be done. Any other way is wrong because it isn't what she thinks is best. I think how she acted with Dean a lot of times is evidence of this. She decided that Dean had to go to a certain college and had to do certain things with his life in order to be successful. That's not true, though. A person doesn't have to go to college to be successful. He built a car when he was only 16 and did great work in construction, but he didn't have to go to college to study mechanical engineering or construction science. He should get to decide what he wants to do with his life just like Rory should get to decide what she wants to do with hers. Problem is, many times each Gilmore Girl was written in a way that made it appear that she thought she should get to decide what she was going to do with her life as well as what everyone else should do with theirs.

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[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

Yes yes and yes. Rory and Lorelai both think they know everything about every situation. Rory ignored that Dean was not encouraged the same way that she was and told constantly he's perfect/intelligent/deserves to go to Harvard. Same could be said for the rest of the SH students. They didn't have anyone filling their heads with big ambitions. The show only focuses on one particular type of intelligence. College isn't for everyone and sometimes people go to college after 18. Making obscure references, memorizing facts, and reading 24/7 aren't the only hobbies of intellectual people.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

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[–] yeamf-93422 8 years ago

But it's not true that only those who have been told numerous times that they should attend big colleges want to do so. That's no excuse. I think everyone should set high standards for themselves, and when it comes to privileged teenagers; their standards should be getting into the best colleges that they can. And Dean was privileged : White, handsome upper middle class American guy with a good family.

He just didn't seem to want anything more than what he had, which is tragic, because a lot of people would kill to have the opportunities that someone like Dean has.

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[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

What excuse are you referring to? I don't think that everyone who attends college went because they were encouraged but the encouragement helps a lot. Just look at Lindsay's parents. They were very supportive of her getting married at 18 and only seemed to show her that it's okay to just stay at home while Dean works 3 jobs. We also saw what happened when Rory didn't get encouraged to continue journalism as an adult, she quit. in Stars Hollow, everyone lives in a magical world isolated from people who encourage them to read beyond their horizons. Yes Dean is privileged as a white male. I think Dean just took longer to realize what he wanted out of life. We don't know what he does for a living but I don't see his position as much different from Jess in terms of coming into his own as a person. I have to imagine that hearing you aren't good enough at 16 from your girlfriend's grandparents when you already make average grades doesn't help the self esteem much. SH just isn't realistic because it seems like only Rory makes it to a good school. They wanted to continue the Dean/Lindsay/Rory love triangle so he doesn't go off to college. The thing I found troubling is Dean not believing he could get into a four year college because he had a mixture of grades. Clearly his parents and guidance counselor did a poor job. Even the guy who ranked last in my class got into a four year college. The writers didn't know what they were doing. Look at Lane, she's a smart girl and could've gotten out to major in music but they just have her stay in SH for good. I think the writers only cared about Rory reaching her full potential.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

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[–] TheDuchessofM 8 years ago

Lane did go to college--it was a religious one (Seventh Day Adventist). When she issued her ultimatum to her mother, she mentioned being allowed to attend community college. I didn't see anything that implied Lane didn't at least get an associates degree. Zach had to have been somewhat college educated bc in the finale, he had a decent job--being able to work your way up in a white collar job without any degree hasn't been a thing in over fifteen years.

Anyways, I thought Lane not being braniac college student was a breath of fresh air. She was not the stereotype "model minority."

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[–] Blanche_Elizabeth_Devereaux 8 years ago

Not everyone should go to college or should want to go to college. I have a friend who is highly intelligent but his passion was working on cars. He loved working on cars and dreamed of working in a garage fixing cars. He didn't want to own the garage. He didn't want to run it. He just wanted to fix the cars. That's what he does now. His parents, like you, thought that he should go to college and he relented and went for a while. It was a complete waste. He didn't want to be there. It was a waste of his time and money and he took up a spot that could have been filled by someone who woukd have better benefited from that experience.

Everyone doesn't have to go to college. People need to find what they are passionate about that they can also make a living doing and do that.

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[–] bravelikethelion 8 years ago

Was Dean actually upper middle class, though? I was under the impression that he came from a solid middle or working class background. Not that we knew that much about his family, though I seem to remember that his mom was working part time and his dad owned a some kind of store in Stars Hollow. I mean, it is great to want to go to college and have high standards, but I do understand where Dean was coming from. He didn't have wealthy family members, he made good but not full ride scholarship grades, and he played a few sports but wasn't a sports star. It isn't easy financing a college education when you are only slightly above average in most areas of life. Not that they bothered to go into that scenario, but it would've been interesting to see a discussion about that between Dean and Rory, instead of Rory being put up to be all knowing and Dean to be an insecure idiot.

To be fair, for all we know, between his last episode in the original series and his scene in the revival, he went back to college or trade school. The fact that he seemed well dressed and that he could afford a possible SAHM wife and four children make me believe he is doing just fine for himself. He was always pretty responsible and a hard worker, I can easily believe he is giving the best life possible to his family, even without a trust fund or Ivy League education.

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[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

Yeah I agree. Dean also had siblings and he worked a lot during high school for money so his parents probably couldn't afford to pay for it. He only stopped going to work when he got married so I imagine he went back to school after he ended things with Rory. I could see Dean owning his own business and providing a good life for his family.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

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[–] nclpllm 8 years ago

Was Dean actually upper middle class, though? I was under the impression that he came from a solid middle or working class background.

I was thinking the same thing. He's middle. Upper-middle is the preppy class, according to Paul Fussell and Lisa Birnbach (both of which ASP should read; she'd learn a lot).

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[–] yeamf-93422 8 years ago

I always thought people living in Stars Hollow are all upper-middle class. They can afford beautiful houses, and Dean's house was huge the few times we got to see it. He did have a job, but I don't think it was to help out his family. It was either for himself, or just because he was a responsible guy and didn't think he was going to go to college. Rory had a job, at the INN.

You're absolutely right about him being a hard worker. It's refreshing seeing such characters.

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[–] bravelikethelion 8 years ago

Gilmore Girls is pretty fantastical when it came to money. Most of those houses in Stars Hollow, including Lorelai and Rory's, would've been extremely expensive, even back then. Most of Stars Hollow seemed to be small business owners and seemed to be working class, yet money was never an issue for any of them (except when it was a plot point). I think Dean said something really early on about his dad owning some kind of electronics repair business and his mom worked as a secretary or something. Realistically, they should've been a struggling working class family but then again, so should've Lorelai and Rory who always had designer cloths and money to burn threw.

Was I wrong or did Dean get into a state college? Which makes it even more ridiculous that he married a Lindsay instead of going.

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[–] perfect_lover2012 8 years ago

I believe Dean was accepted to Southern Connecticut State. I always found it sad that Dean didn't think he could get into a 4 year college. He wasn't filling any of his classes. It just seems like SH High didn't encourage their students a lot.

"When life gives you lemons"
Jessica D: sleep with their fathers and have secret lemon children

reply

[–] stayalivein85 8 years ago

Yes, it is true that both Gilmore girls are very intolerant when it comes to other opinions. In that case though (and that's maybe just how I see it) I was under the impression that it was worse that Dean quit college rather than not going at all. And he did it for all the wrong reasons, just like Rory a year later (when she's not so concerned with the things she thinks about Dean dropping out). Had Dean not gone to college at all, it would have been different than him taking a semester or two off because his wife wants a house. I'm actually with Rory on this one. It might also have been a hidden desire to want him college-educated because those things matter to her. Studies have shown that less women marry below their educational status than men do. This also shows Rory's evolvement from s2 where Richard voiced exactly those concerns and Rory fought with him over it.

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Still shopoholic, just wearing a new T-shirt

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[–] rachfite-43369 8 years ago

It was their way of trying to show that Rory was "smarter" than Dean and that he needed her in his life. She seemed to have good advice and was somewhat of a voice of reason to him at times. It wasn't impossible for Dean to marry young, work and try to be a success story. However, Rory did try to bring some realism to him. He made decisions that had very risky implications. The writing with Dean got very bad in my opinion. He was always set up to fail and end up pining over Rory. No woman was ever going to be good enough for him at the time. They should of never brought him back for season 4. His last episode should of been the one after the dance marathon. He finally stands up for himself and calls Rory out on her crap. I think he had her up on a pedestal as this brainy, beautiful one of a kind girl. He needed to get over that. Glad the revival showed he had totally moved on.

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[–] Eva_Marrie 8 years ago

Being married young isn't an impediment on its own. There isn't just 1 kind of married life. A couple is free to pursue their Phds in Ancient Greek or go live in a hippie commune if that is what makes them both happy. You still have options if you're super religious (the only Millenials marrying young are).

I had a bunch of extended family and friends who were all very Christian (so no sex before marriage). All of the kids married in their early 20s, but none sacrificed any career or study ambitions to do so. The girls certainly weren't spending their time perfecting lamb roasting techniques (1 was even planning to be a Dr). All of their housing, financial and study/work plans were meticulously planned by the couples during the engagements.

So I just do not buy the either/or drama of Lindsey and Dean. This isn't the 18th century. Marriage does not chain you to a picket fence.

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[–] rachfite-43369 8 years ago

Don't worry I personally agree with you. Rory Gilmore however did not, my point is that her role with Dean was supposed be warning him of the impending consequences of his choices. She fully believed getting married that young would lead to unhappiness and that Dean was selling himself short when it came to school and work. Rory believed education was the answer to a happy life. Let's face it Amy and Dan set up Dean and Lindsay to fail. The writing of their marriage proved it, they had no intention of making them a happy successful couple. They were going to have Dean miserable, still in love with Rory and have him go back to her realizing he made a mistake.

I do fully believe that two people can marry that young and survive. The key is being in love with each other and willing to make it work no matter what. Actually these days religious or not early to mid twenties isn't that young. Most people don't marry until late 20s or early thirties or later even, depending especially if this a first attempt for both parties. Also depending on whether or not you met someone to marry. But still a lot of people get married in their early to mid twenties. I have two male cousins who both got married in their late teens. 20 years later the oldest is still married and the youngest as well.

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