MovieChat Forums > The Family Man (2000) Discussion > Did anyone else have a problem with this...

Did anyone else have a problem with this?

posted 8 years ago by dleehoffman-57309
8 replies | jump to latest

[b]This movie is on Netflix this month and I felt that I had to go on IMDB to see if there were others who felt the same way as I.
Although I know this was just a "glimpse", I have such a difficult time watching the dynamics of Jack and Kate's relationship. Kate's passive aggressive behavior throughout the film is distracting and annoying.
1. Kate was very vocal about not wanting Jack to go to London for an extraordinary opportunity in London. Maybe she could have voiced this when they were at home, maybe over dinner? No, she pulled the "I choose us" *beep* minutes before Jack was to board the plane.
2. I'm not an elitist, but I wouldn't feel good as a wife, friend, lover, etc... if my partner took a job at my dad's tire store rather than heading up a Wall Street firm, which is not an easy gig to get, and something he was meant to do.
3. Using the kids as a reason not to live in the city makes me crazy! New York has so much to offer in terms of culture, diversity, and other qualities that the suburbs completely lack, and would be a great place to raise kids.
As a feminist, I am not the type of woman who puts a man's needs above my own - but I am a firm believer in supporting my partner and encouraging them to pursue their dreams.

[–] whoiamnow 8 years ago

Exactly! Kate wasn't interested in letting Jack growing into a fulfilling career. They could live in the city and have a weekend house in the country. Family isn't a location, it's what is in your heart. Kate idea of the perfect life was as flawed as Jack's.

(Go to a review board if you don't want spoilers. This is a DISCUSSION board.)

[–] richspenc 8 years ago

1) The reason why Kate suddenly went all emotional last second, I think is because some times, the more real, scarey feeling doesn't hit you until the very last moment when you feel your first wave of "this really is starting to happen" feeling. Kate was like "before, it was talking about it happening, now its happening."

2) I agree with dleehoffman on this one100%

3) A lot of kids, not all, but a lot don't like the idea of moving away from a place they know and love. They're moving away from their friends that they're used to knowing are right around the corner. They're settled and happy at home and school and then suddenly have to leave that. A lot of kids (I know me too when I was a kid) prefer living in a suburb where they can ride their bikes down to the creek, play in their back yard, climb their apple tree, roll around and play in the grass. All the things me and my friends did in childhood. And the suburbs (well, depending which suburb or neighborhood though) are often safer too.

[–] nycarol 8 years ago

I'm with you on points #1 and #2, but point #3 doesn't make sense to me in this particular circumstance. We're talking about 1 kid who's only, what?, 5 or 6 years old. It's not likely that she's developed such a strong attachment to her school and neighborhood that she'll never get over her separation anxiety; and the other child is an infant. Also, Kate's reluctance to leave the only house they've ever lived in is kind of immature. There could be any number of reasons why this house, at some point in the future, turns out to be inadequate or inconvenient for them. In fact, many couples think of the first house they buy as a couple to be a "starter" home and fully expect to move at some point.

That said, I absolutely love this movie and try not to dwell on the many "real life" issues that it raises.

[–] PhatButtttBear42 (143) 7 years ago

I have such a difficult time watching the dynamics of Jack and Kate's relationship. Kate's passive aggressive behavior throughout the film is distracting and annoying.

I absolutely agree. I found the same things to be annoying as well as a few other I find worth mentioning.. I did enjoy this movie, even though a lot of the “learning lessons” were subliminal & biased.

4. Kate was constantly dismissing Jacks feelings and behavior as “being crazy”

5. Constantly making him feel like he didn’t deserve to have nice things. It was almost like because Jack chose her (“us”) over his career he automatically gave up his right to wanting more in life - and even if this was out of character for him she still came off really deamining.

5. Specifically w his spending, she was very vocal when it came to publically expressing that HE had no say in spending such as; when he was trying on the suit jacket in the department store, although Kate complimented him, it come off very condescending when she then made the remark about price infront of the salesman. She also did this in the restaurant on their anni, when Jack ordered an expensive bottle of wine. For me, as a female, it was embarrassing to watch her control his finances - as a partner she could have been more respectful in public.

6. Tying in #4 & #5, She did not appreciate all Jack had sacrificed for their relationship & I’m not talking about the “surprises”. Obvi there was no way she could have known how successful Jack would become, but it was very probable & ended up being true. She was a non profit lawyer, he was a tire salesman. It seemed she would be bothered if he became more successful than her. When he had the opportunity to give them a better life (job, schools, financial freedom) her excuses were out of line considering all he gave up for her & his family.

In the end, he chose them. He had no choice but to go back to his real life. IMO, deep down he was truly a good guy.

[–] PhatButtttBear42 (143) 7 years ago

ADD the scene When Jack told Kate that he was offered a job at his firm, and the apartment etc. made me cringe. He wanted to “eat his cake, and still have it”. His reasons came off selfish, where as he reasons came off like she was scared of him having success. Maybe The same reason she didn’t want him to leave in the first place.

[–] Bossdog677 (1563) 3 years ago

I'm sure the kids were really missing out on all the culture and diversity. I mean they had fresh air, green grass, safe streets, a big 4 bedroom house, good schools but what they were really missing was Hipster Coffee Houses and getting beat up and possibly being murdered for being white in some inner city armpit school.

[–] Verfed (24) 5 months ago

I agree. Most American cities are no place to raise a family.

[–] Annkat (342) a year ago

You misunderstood the whole film.

1 - At the airport Kate realized that they were going for the wrong thing. They thought that getting material goods and money set before marriage was the better idea. It wasn't. Only them being together was real. She sensed that Jack would change in London and not for the best. Which is exactly what happened.

2 - In the glimpse past, Jack loved Kate so much...he agreed to run Kate's father's business so that her father could recover properly. It was out of love and sacrifice for love not ambition.

3 - Kate liked the restful setting of the suburbs more than the city. But she agreed to move back in the glimpse because she loves Jack and will sacrifice the suburbs for him. This is important because the glimpse ends soon after this concession.

Jack was taught the meaning of real love and the sacrifices that go into making a beautiful marriage. When he woke back in his old life, he realized how empty it was and that money could not buy him a family or even a legacy. The job meant nothing because he saw how easily he was replaced in it.