MovieChat Forums > Samurai Cop (2016) Discussion > 100 Things learned from Samurai Cop

100 Things learned from Samurai Cop

posted 18 years ago by PulpDazed-RagingConfused
28 replies | jump to latest

1. When anything glass breaks (windows, bottles, TV, etc.) you know your in a kickass gun fight.

2. Part of the Samurai Cop code is never to change facial expressions, except during sword/gun/fist fights in which one is to make the most ridiculous faces imaginable. These faces are part of an old Samurai tradition that is ment to leave ones opponent defenseless.

3. All Japanese Katana gang leaders sport mullets to show dominance.

4. Real Samurai’s are always American.

5. All Samurai Cops are sex addicts. This is because their hair produces twice as much mojo as the average man.

6. A decapitated head looks best atop a piano.

7. When the Captain gives a speech about “wanting less dead bodies”, mock him.

8. Since Samurai Cops often accidentally light their suspects on fire, its best for them to carry a blanket and fire extinguisher in their car at all times.

9. Samurai Cops only weakness is sliding doors.

10. When holding a Samurai Cop and his partner at gunpoint, one should always shoot the token sidekick first.

Live fast, die young, leave a good looking corpse.

[–] stzombie 18 years ago

11. Doctors don't change blood soaked bandages in the burn units of LA hospitals.

12. A "real" samurai always gets his sword from from the Katana Gang henchmen.

[–] [email protected] 17 years ago

13. Things in fast moition just looks cooler, especially a fist fight between a mullet hair man in tight jeans, and a bald japanese borderline midget.

14. Katana means Japanese Sword

15. "Hey! Wait a minute!" is the best way to catch a person's attention when they are trying to get away.

16. If you threaten the life of a member of the katana gang, another one will come in and respond "Leave him alone!"

17. Women can keep their vaginas warm at will.

18. Chinese gang members have robotic voices.

19. Even if your fluent in Japanese, you still have alot of trouble pronouncing on of their names "Ohmaha, Yahama or whatever his name is"

20. Being a lawyer, even tho it's high paying, isn't REALLY a REAL job.

[–] astrocity20 17 years ago

21. If a woman wants nothing to do with you, take her into "police custody" to convince her.

22. You can run away from the Samurai Cop and still leap into your clothes at the same time.

23. Never give a woman an automatic weapon, she will forget to check and reload it, resulting in death.

24. If you see someone with a gun simply jump behind a wall and wait for them to shoot and miss before returning fire.

25. If you don't know where the gang leaders house is, randomly search, just make sure to apologize.

26. If you're going to kill an entire gang, after you've started a shootout simply walk through the middle of the courtyard for safest entry.

27. When talking to a lawyer, your best defense is to call him a *beep* see him in hell and to simply leave you alone.

28. When you've begun making love and the phone rings, pick it up, then tell your woman that you're "going to a party" as you walk out of the room with a raging boner. She will NOT question you.

29. Nurses will randomly ask Samurai Cop if they want to *beep* them. If only the other ladies... KNEW.

30. If you're a cop and you see a decapitated body,... call someone else to call security then run... ...somewhere.

31. If you're a Samurai, never EVER think about carrying a samurai sword but have speedos ready at all times.

32. When Samurai Cop and the owner of the restaurant are talking just peer into the eyes of the lion lurking on the back wall.

[–] oltrelamorte 17 years ago

33. Frank's ass is black.

34. The Japanese Katana gang consists mostly of big black guys & guys with mullets.

35. Robert Z'Dar is apparently Japanese.

36. Samurai Cops eat nothing but turkey to stay lean.(Watch the Z'Dar interview on the DVD).

37. Samurai Cops enjoy dry-humping over actual sex.

http://www.commandofans.com

http://www.maniaccopfans.com

[–] PsychoticDestruction 9 years ago

*Motion, *you're, *a lot, *one, *though.

[–] toddf99 17 years ago

Samurai Cops can make a beach house shape shift into a neigborhood home when the production schedule falls behind. This is best accompished during sex with women from the Episcopal Church of Beverly Hills.

[–] supernightmaren 17 years ago

38. To get your partner to kill the bad guys during a car chase, simply repeat the phrase "Shoot...Shoot him." the exact same way five times.

39. Your police partner will make a goofy face between every line of dialogue between you and a woman.

[–] mattqatsi 17 years ago

40. Nurses will randomly solicit you for sex
41. Make sure the doctors don't "cut off too much" when they circumcise your child

[–] andysocial82 16 years ago

42. Samurai Cops'long, luxurious hair can change from real hair to a wig and back at a moment's notice and without warning.

[–] airwayvz 16 years ago

43. When the boss tells you to "break both their legs", it's best to go in shooting.

[–] swm-2 16 years ago

44. Police and mobsters in this part of California apparently only work during daylight hours. Maybe they're "reverse vampires"???

[–] keisher426 16 years ago

44. 3 people enter a van and miraculously five end up dying.

45. It IS possible to talk to to someone in a helicopter without actually using a radio.

46.the person driving always yells "shoot him" while the person shooting must always tell the driver to "go!"

47.Yakuza gang leaders love severed heads to decorate their pianos, and require them periodically.

Buster:I don’t want no part of your tight-ass country-club, you freak bitch!

[–] sinisterguido 16 years ago

48. It's not uncommon for multiple people within a group to have identical voices.

49. A Samurai Cop doesn't concern himself with how fast he duels w/ katanas (Japanese swords) or how fast he drives during a "high speed pursuit." They can always speed him up during post.

50. Cops like to turn in their badges in groups of threes.

[–] eos_pictures 16 years ago

51. Always look to your trusty sidekick before responding to any random sexual advance from a woman (and there will be plenty if you are a Samurai Cop). His facial expressions will never steer you wrong.

52. The only correct answer if a nurse randomly asks you "Do you want to *beep* me?" is "Bingo."

53. A pre-requisite to becoming a Samurai Cop is to have male genitalia comparable in size to a jumbo jet.

54. A Samurai Cop never needs to call for backup.

55. Car windshields are bulletproof, but just to be safe make sure you duck and weave your head to avoid gunfire.

56. Minivan's have a fatal design flaw: the gas tank is kept inside the front bumper and the slightest bump will always cause an explosion.

57. There is no escaping the chicken wing arm lock. If you're a criminal and you find yourself put in one just give up and let yourself be handcuffed.

58. When handcuffing a criminal you only need to do one wrist, the other one will take care of itself.

59. People who drive pick-up trucks often keep samurai swords in the passenger seat.

60. When you can't afford squibs orange paintballs make a perfect substitute.

61. When the evil samurai takes 30 seconds to reload his uzi, don't take the opportunity to shoot him! That's what he'll be expecting...

62. Grenades explode twice.

63. A true samurai can only die by the blade. Breaking his neck will only make him tired.

[–] Hands_of_Fate 15 years ago

64. The results of an ongoing Samurai Cop investigation always end up in a film editing room with a black voiced old white guy who refuses to call the Yakuza by their name instead he calls them the mafia.

65. After you've already crossed the line and attempted to kill 2 police officers, breaking their legs is the next logical step.

"What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons."

[–] gyngerbrede 15 years ago

66. Don't worry about your lady cop's horrible disfiguring burns - it's unnecessary to follow up on those.

[–] jmpswann 15 years ago

67. Why change your facial expression when you can just change your wig?

[–] dave1033a 14 years ago

68. That your police captain can sanction assassinations when he doesn't get the results he wants

69. That female cops like to offer to *beep* their fellow officers when they have time on their hands

70. Police helicopters have no markings that they are police and in fact look like they are civilian.

"Every day above ground is a good day!"

[–] thip77 14 years ago

71. Undercover cops can only go UNDER obstacles, such as fences.

[–] r_floyd2003 13 years ago

72. When a Samurai Cop is tailing a vehicle on a tipoff that it's transporting illegal drugs, the correct way to apprehend the suspects is simply to drive up to the vehicle and start shooting at it. Samurai Cops are exempt from such normal requirements as reading suspects their Miranda rights, or even identifying themselves as police before opening fire.

73. Sometimes it's necessary for drug traffickers to climb onto a motorboat at a marina, ride a short distance over water to another part of the same marina, then get off again to make a drug trade. Possibly this is done to confuse police surveillance, or perhaps the drug dealer simply enjoys riding his boat.

[–] kyngbee 13 years ago

75. Samurai Cops & flaming gay stereotypes go to the same barbers

76. The Yakuza's favourite video game is Defender

77. Cinnamon gets in the way of a Samurai Cops intelligence

[–] logmeinyoucnt 12 years ago

78. Fenced-in dogs like to join in on a police foot chase.
79. Tough henchman say, "Leave him alone!" like a little kid confronting a school bully.
80. Israeli sub-machine guns shoot harmless sparks.

"Me annoy you long time." Yoko Ono

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] signguydudley 10 years ago

81. When an actresses butt hole is visible in a scene, even for a split second, one take is fine.

82. When an actress looks directly at the camera while walking past the pool, one take is also fine.

[–] TopFrog 9 years ago

83. The hospital burn unit is adjacent to a dental clinic.

[–] HuddsOn (23) 6 years ago

85. When a man is running around covered in burning gasoline crying out in agony, he will stop screaming and calmly look around the second the flames are extinguished.

86. When in pursuit of a suspect, undercover cops don't have an obligation either to stop or to call for an ambulance if they run over one of the bad guys.

[–] PsychoticDestruction 9 years ago

*You're, *Meant.

[–] Boromir (10061) a year ago

87. Jumping into a shallow pool with the pose of an Olympic athlete make you a professional.
88. You can cut head without any moral problem or any fear that someone will see you and still be terrified to get out of an elevator.
89. The moment you look at the window you will see the bad guys.
90. It's more easy for the bad guys shoot accurately at small object than at 1.83 meter man.
91. If someone threatens you with a sword, drop the gun and fight him bare hands.