sovvolf said: "...I've had to deliver a good seeing to every now and again to Ray, The Ray character is just like my cusins boyfriend, constantly gets drunk and abuses her, I've been phoned a good few times in the morning to pick up my cusin becuase of he's had too much and gone on one of his tantrums and he gets a good kicking for it..."
Maybe it's because I live in the dead centre of Edmonton, but if "Ray" (aka "Your Ray"; aka "Your cusins boyfriend") got drunk, beat up your cousin, you went and beat up Ray... but true love rose high and your cusin took "Ray" back, and then "Ray" got drunk... etc., etc., wouldn't logic dictate that somebody is doing SOMETHING wrong? Like, maybe beating up "Ray" isn't solving "Ray"'s underlying alcohol addiction or rage issues or feelings of inadequancy? Or maybe your cusin should stay away from "Ray" for good?
And it's not like I'm talking out of me arse here, mates. I'm not taking the piss or looking for a good smack to the 'ead. I grew up in an abusive home until me mudder had the guts to leave my da. Now, some 20+ years later, she's living with a guy and such, but if he ever raised a hand to her, well, a) I wouldn't have to do anything because I'm QUITE sure me mudder can swing a mallet with thee best of 'em; and b) My mother's a grown woman who has been in an abusive relationship and has left it.
OF COURSE it's hard for a woman - with 2 kids under 10, who married straight out of high school and has no job experience - to leave an abusive relationship. I'm not going to sit here and say it's easy because I lived it. But, if she would have kept going back to him; if she would have got the divorce and then, 6 months later, OH! we got a "new da"!, who, of course, is showing all the signs of being an abuser and me mudder is ignoring them; if she would have told her cusin (way back in the day) that she was being beaten, and her cusin's response would have been to "give me da a good kicking for it"... and then just waited for the next time; if ANY of those things were to have happened, then the blame would have to be shared amongst me da, me mudder, and certainly me mudder's cusin for thinking violence would somehow stop a cycle of violence.
"The weapon is silence
In the cycle of violence"
- Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy
-ak
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