MovieChat Forums > My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) Discussion > Um, 28 ISN'T THAT OLD!!!

Um, 28 ISN'T THAT OLD!!!

posted 15 years ago by shrilltrills
21 replies | jump to latest

The main thing that really annoyed me about this movie was that everyone in it was acting like 28 was such an old age to still be single. Jules mentioned that pact she and Michael had, that if neither had married by the time they were 28, they would marry each other. As if 28 is too old for either one of them to find someone else...pssshht. And Kimmy made that comment about how it must have been so hard for Jules to go through all those men and never find the right one...WTH did she mean "never"? Jules was 28, not 48!

Statistically speaking, people who are still single at 28 have a better chance of being in a lasting marriage (when it happens) than those who marry in their teens or early 20s. It's pretty much because in your late 20s or early 30s, you've established your own identity and figured out who you are as a person, which is crucial for success in a marriage because how can you be happy with someone else and know what you want in a partner when you don't even fully know yourself? In the early 20s, most people have not really grown up yet or established who they are as individuals, and this is why the majority of marriages at this age end up dissolving - the two people grow apart as they grow up. I'm not saying that ALL people who marry young are doomed to this fate, just that it is usually a major possibility. AND that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single at 28.

In fact, a marriage like Michael and Kimmy's would have divorce written all over it from the start. They were getting married after only a few weeks, first of all. And she was only 20, which for most people is not developed or mature enough to get married, but she was a very immature 20 year old at that. She had no experience in the real world, having not even finished school yet and never really living on her own. She was willing to drop out of school and throw away all of her dreams and ambitions to be with this man. Great way to start a marriage. Remember that scene where she brought up the subject (yes, Jules manipulated the situation, but that's not the point) - she told him she wanted to finish school, etc. He got all mad at her and implied she didn't love him for who he was, and it ended with her begging him not to leave her and basically pleading with him and saying she'd do anything he wanted. Yeah, that's a healthy relationship. *eyeroll* This guy is being completely inconsiderate and ignoring her dreams, and she's begging him to be with her no matter what she has to give up. In real life, she would end up resenting him down the road because she had to give up so much just to be with him.

So we're supposed to believe that Kimmy's better off than Jules because she got married young and Jules is still single at almost 30? LMAO! In real life, Kimmy's divorced and whining and crying like a little baby at age 22 and Jules, having gotten over her commitment issues, will find someone perfect for her at 29-30 and have a long, happy marriage.

RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! - Eric Cartman

[–] pedro-ferreira-jorge 15 years ago

First of all, I totally agree that 28 IS NOT too old to stay single… On the contrary, staying single (even forever) can very much be a choice and not a consequence of not being able to be with someone. And also two people can be single and live together all of their lives without getting married, as a choice and/or a way of living. There’s nothing wrong with that, obviously.

Now, as far as the movie is concerned, I believe that her age (Julia Robert’s character) was set at 28 to somewhat fit her actual age (which was nearly 30 at the time of shooting). Yes, they could have given her a few years more, but it could only be a couple of years or it would seem odd. And, most important thing of all, I think Julia Roberts wouldn’t have accepted (or at least liked) to be viewed as an older person than she really was. We can take a few years off a woman, but NEVER give her more than the ones she already has :)

[–] SenoritaTorres 15 years ago

I was a bit gutted at the ending of this film, to be honest. I really wanted Julianne and Michael to end up together. For me, they belonged with each other. From the word go, Kimmy was all wrong for Michael. She was unwittingly trying to change who he was, while Julianne loved him for ALL his faults. Kimmy didn't HAVE to drop out of school to marry Michael, he wasn't forcing her to, that was her choice, but in some way, she actually did resent him for it. Not actually saying this to his face was in some way not good for the relationship, especially since they were getting married. It didn't make sense to me that this woman he's been in love with for years and who he has shared so much with would turn round and tell him she feels the same way, only for him to realise he's in love with a daft bint he's known for less than a month. I think he should have chosen Julianne.

Justice for the 96
-15th April 1989

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE

[–] moviegeek1 15 years ago

Quite simply put, Julianne wasn't emotionally mature enough to marry ANY man, least of all Michael. Her behavior throughout the film proved that. Why is it that in the beginning of the movie, the mere thought of Michael proposing to Julianne had her nearly panic-stricken and vowing to let him down easy, yet when she discovers that he is engaged to someone else, she suddenly wants him? I've always believed that you can linger too long in the proverbial Friend Zone and miss your romantic opportunity window. Sadly, that's what our heroine has done. She just hasn't realized it when the story begins.

Michael's feelings for Julianne are nebulous at best. We know that she's his best friend and he loves her in that brother-sister kind of way. Beyond that, the only emotion he seems to display is jealousy, when he is led to believe that Julianne has a new man. He suddenly has to spend some time alone with her. Ultimately, whatever unresolved feelings he might have had for her quickly dissipate in the climax, as he chooses who he really wants to be with.

I think questions about Kimmy's suitability and she and Michael's future together are immaterial. Clearly, he is in love with her and is making an attempt to grow up, unlike Julianne who has refused to. I think that that is one of the points the movie tries to make. Michael is ready to commit to someone and Julianne is clearly not.

I think that Julianne is unfairly maligned here. She is not evil, just misguided and her desperation takes over. In the end, she means well. In the end she learns that truly loving someone sometimes means letting them go.

Sister, when I've raised hell, you'll know it!

[–] 15 years ago

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[–] captinska_1999 15 years ago

28 was "old" in the 90's
48 is the new 28 thanks to Carrie and s & the city

[–] PepperCat 15 years ago

Um, no. The 90s weren't that long ago and not much has changed since then. You are clearly very young. I was early 20s when the movie came out.

[–] carrielovesmanolo 15 years ago

I think the underlying theme of this movie is the loss of a piece of a relationship that comes when friends get married (I'm talking about more than just romantic love.). Julianne and Michael have been through a lot together - college, travel, loss of parents, past relationships (with each other and with others, etc.) and once Michael gets married, some of the intimacy that comes with a friendship like that invariably has to go away. Even if two people aren't in love with each other (which I don't think Julianne OR Michael was at the time of the movie), watching someone you're so close to get married is a bit of a bittersweet experience. You obviously love your friends and want them to get married, but you do lose some of the bond that you once had - you have to, in a way.

I am 27 now and am a bit of a traveling young professional like the characters in the movie are. I was single for most of college many years after college, and I have had a couple of guy friends who I care about deeply. While I'm still very close with them, our relationships have had to change when they (and I) began serious relationships. In the past, we definitely acted as one another's "crutches" when we had a bad day and just needed a companion to hear us out, boost our confidence, help us pick a new TV, etc., and while we still care for one another, we can't do that in the same way and balance a romantic relationship (after all, the boyfriend or girlfriend should probably be the top relationship in your life if you want it to work!). I think that Julianne is so desperate to not that she deludes herself into thinking that Michael is the one (when, at many times during the movie, it's pretty apparent they're not, IMO.)

I think this is a big piece of your life in your 20s, and while I agree 28 isn't THAT old (let's hope not, anyway, I turn 28 in September :) ) I think it's the right age for Julianne (and Michael) to be to be going through a set of emotions like that.

[–] bonitachica 14 years ago

I agree with the last sentence on this post. I just had the pleasure to see this move in its entirety recently, and I thought 28 was pretty young too considering the fact that Julia Roberts looked older than 28 to me, she was a successful, well-known food critic (how many are that young?), and the whole 'if we're still single' thing would sound alot better for 30 than late 20s. However Jules'actions were a bit immature, and I think if a 30+ year old woman was behaving like that, it wouldn't seem as believable. Although, speaking as a 30+ woman, I have to admit it does happen, especially in a mid-life crisis sort of way. Plus Kimmy is only 20, so I guess the idea of a 20 year old giving up school and her dreams to marry a 30 year old sounds worse than if the guy was still in his 20s.

[–] akakakak83 12 years ago

Since they met in college, I always assumed this pact was made when they were 18.

So it's not so much that they were waiting to turn 28, but that they were waiting to see if they were single in 10 years. While 28 isn't old, it does seem really old when you're young.

If my understanding of the timing is off and they weren't 18 when they made the agreement, then what annoys me is not that 28 is young, but that it's such an arbitrary age to choose. Why not a nice round number like 30?

[–] 12 years ago

[deleted]

[–] hodie 11 years ago

^^ Agreed. At 18, ten years into the future seems like an eternity. When I was thirty I thought I would always be single. I first started dating my husband at 32 and married him at 34. Before that I wasn't ready to be married. I think I got married at the right age for me.
We'll be married 25 years next month.

Get me a bromide! And put some gin in it!

[–] Doc110894 11 years ago

Some interesting poats.

[–] Redart27 11 years ago

Funny, Julia's character from Mona Lisa Smile - a movie set in the 1950's - has much more progressive attitude toward marriage than the Julianne "OMG I'm 28, tick tock my bio clock" character in this film.

http://youtu.be/oHg5SJYRHA0

[–] tyshimah3 10 years ago

I never thought of her as saying: "28, oh wow, I'm getting old, I need to get married."
I just figured that she realized she 28 and at some point Michael might come a-calling.

"Do you even remember what you came here to find?"

[–] tyshimah3 10 years ago

[–] ms-trixi 10 years ago

28 is about the age that guys start to prefer dating younger women. And as a woman hits thirty, she may find that she gets less attention. By 35 it gets even harder to find a good man (not impossible), while a 35 year old man seems to acquire more game (especially if he is successful). In the 90's more men wanted to marry. I think things are a lot more like this movie nowadays because men are not marrying as much, and when they finally decide to do so, they often want a younger woman.

[–] shrilltrills 10 years ago

Funny, I get more male attention at 30 than I did at 20. I'm not exactly the norm though - at 20 I was almost 100 pounds overweight, and at 30 I am thin and look a lot younger than my age (a lot of people think I'm still in high school when we first meet).

People are saying things all the time about how men in their 30s want women in their 20s and 30+ women are starting to feel invisible and seeing men's attention travel to younger girls, but I can't relate one bit lol.

RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! - Eric Cartman

[–] matthieus2 10 years ago

I agree 28 isn't that old, at least I hope not as it's just over 2 years away for me.

But I agree in it being believable someone in their late twenties, especially being single, sort of worrying about what direction their life is going.

I also agree about the 90's. Particularly it did seem in TV during the 90's a lot of characters seemed to dress older than they were.

[–] chunkylefunga 10 years ago

In the 90s it was much more common to get married in your early 20s so 28 would be like 38 nowadays.

[–] MrsJove 9 years ago

I think its because they made a pact when they were in college. I have cousins who judt turned 20-24 and they say 28-30 is "freaking old" not to mention anyone above 30 is ancient. I had a friend who started having kids at 18, she told me when I wss 23 to stsrt having kids already because i was "old" already and was going to look like their grandma. Needless to say she's 29 and looks 10+yrs older. I don't... point is old is different in everyones eyes. Fact is we're all heading up there.

Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are.

[–] alzanden-1 8 years ago

I'll admit, I didn't read your full post, but you're over thinking it. First of all, almost every age, or at least for myself and others that I know, every age seems old, until you're older.

I remember 22 being my last good birthday where I didn't really feel old....23 and on I worried that I was so old. I am 37 now, so of course I scoff at feeling old at 23, but I feel old now, and I am sure when I am 47 I would kill to be 37 again.

Also, Kimmy is only 20. She's about to get married, and she probably always dreamed of getting married young (she seems like the type of girl who needs a man to get by). So to look at Julianne, who is 28 and not married and doesn't even have a boyfriend, that seems super old to her, and sad.

Personally I never wanted to get married that young, even when I almost got engaged at 21, I kept thinking maybe we can push it back a year....or two....or three. I ended up getting married at 31. I would have liked to have gotten married a little younger, at least to lessen the stress of my biological clock ticking, but I agree with you, 28 is so not old.